Since You've Been Gone. (boyxboy)

Chapter 16: Selfish

"It's not 'the' baby, it's 'our' baby."

☆

Ah, just in time." Beth smiles as she hears Jasper enter their apartment. She dishes the last of the spaghetti onto the plate, before taking the pan back to the kitchen. "How was it?"

Jasper takes off his boots and jacket and heads for the kitchen sink to wash his hands. "The place needs a lot of work, but we will get there."

"What happened to your hand?" Beth clocks the white sticky covering over the palm of Jasper's right hand. She grasps at his fingers to pull it across for her to see better, but Jasper instantly pulls it back.

"It's nothing. Just a small cut." He insists, trying his best not to get the dressing wet.

"Hey, I was just caring." Beth says, feeling a little rejected at his response.

Jasper looks at her as he pulls a tea towel towards him to dry his hands. "I know. I just don't want people to touch it." He says, though that wasn't strictly true. He had let Thomas do so. He tries to distract what may turn into a petty argument by focusing on the food on the table. "I love spaghetti." He leans forwards, kissing Beth on the top of her head. It seems to work as she again becomes all smiles as they make their way to the table to eat.

"So tell me..." she begins. "How is Thomas? Has he changed much?"

Jasper glances up at Beth as he finishes his first mouthful of food. "Well yeah, obviously. He's older." He chuckles.

"No, I mean, do you get on like you used to? Is it how it was? I mean, eight or nine years is a long time..."

Jasper lets his fork drop to the plate. It causes a clatter and stops Beth from talking. "What is this Beth? I feel like I'm being interrogated."

"I'm just making conversation. I'm just showing an interest." She insists.

Jasper sighs. "Well if you must know, he is exactly how he was." Jasper thinks back to how he teased, how he cared, how he felt against his lips. How Thomas made Jasper feel inside. Alive, full of fire, himself.

"Well it's nice you can pick up where you left off." Beth smiles weakly. It causes Jasper to feel that tinge of guilt. If she could read his mind right now. If she knew exactly how he and Thomas had left things, would she really think so fondly of how things used to be between them?

He does his best to force his mind on other things. "How are you feeling, y'know with the baby and all." He glances down at her body. She still didn't look any different. It also causes Beth to look down on herself.

"Oh, everything's fine." She tugs at the loose fitting blouse she is wearing. "I uhh, I have an appointment soon." She says as she takes a sip of her water.

"A scan?" Jasper sits upright. The thought of seeing his child brings home the reality that yes, he was going to be a dad and he would get a glimpse of his child, even if it may be the size of a peanut.

"No not a scan. Just a regular check up." She says with a smile.

"Oh." Jasper grins, feeling silly like he should know this. Maybe she had already told him and he wasn't listening. "So do I need to come to this checkup?"

"No...I mean, it's not important, it's just blood pressure and stuff. You won't see anything." She is quick to reply, but it makes Jasper a little disappointed.

"Oh...But can I come to the scan?" Jasper looks at Beth hopefully.

"Can we talk about this after the wedding?" Beth suddenly becomes restless in her seat as she seems to circle her spaghetti in her fork more times than necessary for it to pick up. "I want to talk about us, we will have the rest of our lives to talk about the baby."

"Our baby."

"What?"

"It's not the baby, it's our baby." Jasper repeats.

"Ok, our baby." She replies almost irritated.

Jasper furrows his brow at her response. "Beth, you do want our baby don't you?" He feels nervous to even ask.

Beth lowers her fork onto her plate and reaches forwards to grasp Jasper's hand, which was still clutching onto his fork. "Jas, of course I do. It's just....just my hormones. That's all. I guess I'm just being selfish and wanted to think of me for just a little longer before I need to devote my life to another."

Jasper again thinks of Thomas. That selfish moment he had encountered with his former lover. That moment where Beth and the baby had left his thoughts so he too could be selfish, until Thomas has made him see sense. "I understand." He says, as he lifts her hand up to kiss it.

There is a moment of comfortable silence between them as they continue with their meal, before Beth decides to break it. "When are you helping Thomas again with his house?"

Jasper shrugs at the question. "I'm not sure. Maybe the weekend? I'm at work the rest of the week."

"So you're off Saturday night?" Beth says, looking hopeful.

"Yes, why?" Jasper asks a little warily.

"Ask Thomas over for dinner. I want to get to know him better..."