Since You've Been Gone. (boyxboy)

Chapter 33: Denial

"No Jas, It's just a little infatuation."

☆

Beth draws her lips up Jasper's shaft. The feeling was undeniably pleasurable and made him selfishly want to see it through to the end, but he knew he needed to call time….just not quite yet. He closes his eyes as his head rolls back onto the couch. She had skill, as he felt her tongue, warm and wet coat his erection. "Beth, you…. Fuck…. You seriously pick your moments." Jasper places a hand on her shoulder, squeezing tight on her bare skin.

It causes her to hum with satisfaction as she begins to bob her head up and down. It was working, she knew him too well. Knew how sexually driven he was and this she was determined to play to her advantage. He belonged to her and her alone.

Just a bit more, then he would tell her to stop, he was beginning to think of nothing else. Just the pleasure he was experiencing. Just the pleasure, the physical pleasure. Beth could have been anyone in that moment he wouldn't have cared and that thought alone brought him to his senses. That feeling of escapism through pleasure. Something he did as often as eat a hot meal back as that feckless 17 year old, before Thomas showed him the true meaning of love.

The grip on her shoulder now begins to push her away as Jasper finally comes to his senses through the erotic haze. "St…stop Beth '' Her lips pull away, but she is not ready to give up just yet as she pushes forwards again. "No. I said stop!" Jasper pushes her back a little firmer this time, making her fall onto her bottom. She reaches back, her hands landing on the rug to stop her falling backwards completely.

"What's the matter? You're enjoying it, I can see you are." Her voice sounds a little raspy as she looks at his erection, large and undeniably aroused.

"We still need to talk." Jasper sits up a little, dragging a nearby cushion over his exposed crotch.

"What about? Haven't we just talked? I said it doesn't matter…"

"I love him." Jasper shouts out. This most definitely gets Beth's attention as she sits back on her heels.

She has this moment of seriousness painted across her face, only to be replaced a second later with a smile. "No Jas. It's just a little infatuation. You love me. You're marrying me. Remember?"

Maybe she didn't quite understand. Jasper reaches forwards and takes one of Beth's hands in his. "Beth, I'm so sorry, but I don't love you like I did, like I should. I love Thomas, I know now, it's always been Tom. I want to be with him. Do you get it?"

Beth looks down upon her own body. She takes a hand to the thin strap of her silk nightdress on her shoulder and pulls it down and off her shoulder. Her left breast spills out into the open. She then moves Jasper's hand which was holding hers to the exposed breast, pushing his palm against the soft flesh. "Feel that Jas. You want me. You love me."

Jasper pulls his hand from the grasp, feeling a sudden repulsion at her neediness. He pushes the cushion away from his lap, now able to do up the fly around his not so aroused member. "Now you are desperate." He says as he gets up from the sofa and proceeds to walk behind it.

Beth quickly pulls up her strap, covering her exposed skin. "I'm sorry." She begins. "Let me make up for it. What can I do?" She rushes around to where he is standing.

"I just want you to listen to what I'm saying." He looks at her, feeling that guilt wash over him all over again.

She stands in front of him, her arms now folded as she looks up at the man. Her composure is in danger of getting lost at any moment as she musters an "I'm listening."

"Tom and I. We have history. I was a mess before I met him and to be honest, I've been a mess since he's been gone. We just click, we're connected, we're…" Jasper begins to get animated with his hands as Beth watches on, unimpressed.

"Exactly. A history. He is past. Aren't we your future?" Beth places her hand on her still flat stomach.

"Beth, us not being together, doesn't stop me from being a dad." He takes a step closer to her, "I'm trying to do what's right here, for everyone. I'm trying to be honest with you. If we don't love each other, we will never work."

"I have enough love for us both." She blurts back. "You don't have to love me. Just don't leave."

"But Beth…" Jasper tries to explain, to make her see, but she grabs a hold of his arms.

"I can make you fall in love with me again. We still have time before the wedding."

"We had sex. Tom and I. We had sex Beth." It's all Jasper can think of to say to get through to her.

"What do you mean you had sex? You mean in the past when you were young?" Beth's voice still seems to be hanging on to that shred of hope. If it was in the past, she could deal with it.

"In the bathroom." Jasper points in the direction of the bathroom, as if she didn't know where it was.

"You had sex with Thomas in our... bathroom?" She says, mouthing each word with clarity. "When?"

"The night he came over and you took Ellen home." Jasper didn't know where to look, feeling a mixture of unease for his actions alongside relief for finally admitting them. "Do you still find it hot? Face up to it Beth. I'm a cheater. We are over."

Beth lets her body fall against the side of the sofa in shock. "He was right." She mumbles. "He was right all along..."