Beyond The Walls (NOW ON AMAZON!!!)

The River

'...you can't think you'll ever deserve anyone's trust to lead them or do anything right.'

Hadley snapped awake, confused when she didn't see the walls of her crowded cubicle.

"Are you okay?"

Hadley turned to the voice. Jamila. It all came back to her. Her failed escape... the vampire dogs... Ruqwik... men... And now they were in the jungle, searching for the Wildlings. Slivers of sunlight made it through the canopy and some of the rays reached the golden beauty by her side. Even with her hair all messy, Jamila had this otherworldly beauty that took Hadley's breath away.

"Are you?" Hadley answered.

Jamila rubbed her eyes and yawned. "I didn't sleep very well."

"Must be those stones pretending to be a mattress beneath us," Hadley said, trying to be funny but totally failing at it.

Jamila chuckled as she stood up and stretched.

Hadley lay back on the tarp and tablecloth bedding and stared at the beautiful canopy. She made patterns from the shapes of leaves and branches and thought about how she'd got here and if there was a way that she could have avoided it all. None of these people should have been here. She shouldn't have been in this position. They shouldn't have trusted her!

Jamila knelt next to Hadley.

"Do you remember what I told you the last time we were together like this?" Jamila asked.

Hadley did, but she stayed silent because she didn't deserve any of it.

"You don't have to carry this load you lug around alone, and I meant it beyond just being an Elder, which I don't think will be happening anymore," she cleared her throat, looked down at her hands on her lap and then looked straight into Hadley's eyes. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm right here."

Hadley smiled, but it felt wrong because she felt nothing that warranted a smile. Only guilt and shame.

And that eternal despair from knowing the darkness stole every chance to be what Jamila deserved.

"I bet the Wildlings will have a much more comfortable sleeping arrangement for tonight." Hadley said with a forced chuckle.

"Sure," Jamila replied, matching Hadley's awkward laugh.

No. Awkward didn't even begin to describe what was happening.

"We should get some breakfast?" Hadley suggested.

The others were lively, most of them standing around a fire. Billy and Crystal were cooking something on the fire that smelt absolutely delicious. Hadley and Jamila learnt that Jael had built a trap that captured some ducks from a small pool not too far away. They'd also found eggs in a nest on the shore when they'd gone to retrieve the ducks before sun rise that morning. Billy had used Jael's multitool to slaughter and dress the two ducks and Crystal had found aromatic herbs and plants to flavour the meal. Jael had borrowed Hadley's machete and led Teroi and the other men to a bamboo patch to help her carve out bowls and cups from the bamboo stems.

When everything was ready, they sat in groups to eat. Teroi sat with the other young men. There were four of them – Teroi was the oldest at twenty-three, one of the other men was a year older than Hadley and her Cohort at twenty-one, and the last two were a year younger than them at nineteen. In addition to the men were the little boys, three in total, between seven and nine years old. The boys sat together, with the vampire dog sitting calmly next to Drew. Hadley noticed green rings at the edge of the dog's eyes. Finally, the mothers from the Compound sat with their daughters and the six-year-old girl, animated as they talked and laughed.