All in my Mind

VI.

Pain is distracting. I could talk about all the associated woes with that, but as it stands: I've just broken my hand and I've been in a really shit mood about it. It doesn't help that the solution to pain seems to be drugging me to oblivion, and since I'm already a heavily medicated individual... well I'm definitely really out of it. It's been a hazy few minutes/hours/days.

Let's talk about Alexander for a bit instead. 

I'm being entirely serious when I say that I think he was a great kid. He was nothing like me, which I promise is a good thing. He was smart and humble and brave. Maybe he had a little quiet ego, but he was a good person. A really good person.

Unfortunately, he didn't stay that way.

After the bee thing, he actually managed to keep moving forward for a while. He pushed it off as a one time thing, and he went back to focusing on the present. That's what mattered. He had too much going on to wonder about such things.

Emily had been in remission for over a year, but she was behind in school, and her newfound complications were making it really hard to catch up. Alexander was taking it upon himself to bridge the gap for her in every way he could.

He was the do it all type. That meant things like the bees needed to not be so important.

Plus he was literally 17. It was arguably supposed to be like the best year of his life. He was graduating highschool soon. He had a girlfriend and friends and a very healthy social life. Things were busy, but they were also great. It was the start of his entire life.

So why did he suddenly feel anxious?

That was the question he was pondering while sitting on the floor of Parker's living room while Addison talked about why she thought Alexander was cheating in calculus. The floor between them was spread with papers and notebooks of assignments almost long forgotten in favor of socializing.  Parker's house was a regular place for them to hang out. His dad was an international pilot and his mother had died when he was much younger. That meant that for days at a time, his home was pretty unsupervised. His living room floor was as consistent as ever for the three of them to settle for homework and group projects. It was also a good place for Alexander to be teased about the fact that he was smarter than the both of them despite being the youngest.

"It doesn't make sense," Addison insisted. "You can't explain any of the answers, but you still Ace the tests. You have to be cheating."

What's more, is that Alexander hadn't ever cheated in his life. She had a point though. Alexander had failed to be able to verbally explain any of his calculus homework to them. Parker was getting the first C of his highschool career and although Alexander had been able to work out the problems himself, he simply couldn't explain the answers to them in a way that made sense.

"How the fuck are you the gifted one?" Parker demanded, although he sounded amused. "Its not fair."

"It's because he doesn't binge drink every time he misses a question on a test," Addison teased.

She leaned over and grabbed the liquor bottle that Parker was currently holding, taking a drink herself and then setting it back on the carpet. She scrunched her nose at the taste. Alexander rolled his eyes. He didn't drink. That would mess with his "gifted kid" complex.

"You can have my notes," Alexander offered, even though he knew it wasn't a real offer.

"Your notes are illegible," Parker complained.

Alexander knew that too. He had a busy mind and it showed. He scribbled in the margins. He wrote jokes in lines with his formulas to help him remember things. The jokes helped them stick in his head.