Fear

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JASON

My brother is busy... I can hear him and Sofia. I simply just walk the hallways with my hands shoved in my pockets. I wanted to come clean to Xavier about Jenna. I mentally prepared myself to be punched in the face.

I'm leaning against the pearly white marble countertop. My heart is pounding like a drum, my palms are sweaty, and there's an ugly lump in my throat that refuses to go away.

The longer I wait, the harder it gets. I've got things to confess, things that will turn his world upside down.

Suddenly, a high-pitched wail slices through my guilt-ridden thoughts. I flinch, my eyes darting to the sleek baby monitor perched on the countertop.

Saint is crying, and the sound sends jolts of panic through me.

I'm not good with babies.

I've only held him for a couple of minutes at a time for the most and never alone. But I know Xavier is... otherwise engaged, and I can't just let the kid cry.

I push off the countertop and make my way to the nursery, the baby's cries growing louder with each step. The room is painted a soft blue, decorated with fluffy clouds and tiny jungle animals. The baby’s crib is positioned in the middle of the room, a tiny island in a sea of plush toys and baby essentials.

My nephew is squirming in the crib, his face red and scrunched up. I reach down and pick him up, trying to remember how Xavier does it. He's small and chubby.

"Hey, little guy," I murmur, bouncing him gently in my arms. "It's okay."

But he continues to cry, and I'm at a loss. Then, I remember the pacifier. I spot it on the dresser next to the crib, a tiny blue thing that looks so insignificant but means so much to a baby.

I scoop it up and make my way out of the nursery to the kitchen. I give it a quick wash in the sink and then pop it into my nephew's mouth. I make my way back to the nursery with him slowly.

He sucks on it immediately, his cries subsiding to tiny whimpers before finally falling silent. I let out a sigh of relief, holding him in my arms as I leaned against the crib.

He's old enough for me to hold him upright. Or at least I hope so. I still support his back and head just in case. He seems to like it this way.

"Sorry, buddy," I whisper, my voice choked with emotion. "Sorry for all the mess I've caused."

I know he can't understand me, but saying the words out loud gives me a strange sense of relief.

I don't want to give him a bottle because I don't know his schedule or if Sofia even gives him bottles. I don't want to overstep.

I can't help but feel guilt clawing at my insides.

My voice trembles as I speak softly to the baby, trying to soothe him and myself simultaneously. "I'm sorry. I screwed up. I don't know if your dad will even let me see you again after this, but I'll try. I promise."

As if in response, my nephew gazes at me with wide, innocent eyes, oblivious to the chaos that surrounds him. His tiny hand reaches out and grasps my finger.

Just then, the bedroom door creaks open, and Xavier steps out, his hair slightly disheveled, a faint smile playing on his lips.

"Jason... What's going on?" Xavier's voice is a mix of confusion and concern.

Sofia comes in behind him, and her hair is also messy.

"He was crying.. Sorry. You seemed..... busy." I say.

Sofia's face flushed with embarrassment. "Sorry, Jason."

"It's fine." I say to her and hand the baby to her.

"How did you get him to stop crying?" She asks while Saint stares up at the ceiling.

"Pacifier."

Sofia frowned. "So I guess he just doesn't like me."

Shit. Did I do something wrong?

"Sorry." I apologize.

"No. It's not you." She says softly and gives me a sad smile.

"Come on, Jason. Let's go." He says.

I nod and walk out of the nursery. Xavier walks behind me, but I can't help the fear that creeped in.

Yes. I'm scared of my brother.

He's bigger than me, and he packs a hell of a punch.

"What do you want to tell me?" He asks.

"Can we wait until we get to my office?" I ask.

"Why there?" He asks as we walk out of the penthouse.

"I have something to give you, and hopefully, you don't break my nose." I answer while getting into the elevator

"Why would I - what did you do?" He asked, and I can hear the anger in his voice.

So I guess we're doing this now.

"Um, I um."

"Spit it out, Jason."

My palms are sweaty.

Xavier stands there holding the doors from closing like I'm trapped in.

This is going to hurt. So bad.

"I'm just going to start by saying I'm so sorry." I start. "You already know I slept with Jenna and that her second miscarriage was actually my baby."

"I suspected. Is that it?" He asks.

I gulp so hard it echos in my eyes. "And you know I helped her uncover your affair."

"Jason, you need to start telling me what I don't know."

I was silent for a while. "A few years ago, Jenna found divorce papers in your study.... she wanted me to do something to keep you home and asked me to... she asked me to shoot you, and I did." I admit.

Xavier gives me a death stare, and a chill runs down my spine.

"An- and um, she hid out at my place after the whole Sofia fiasco, but you gotta believe me, Xavier. I told her to leave, and I'm not helping her anymore. It's why I wanted to bring you to my office. I tracked where she's staying. It's in a file."

Xavier starts to chuckle and then full-blown laughing. It's so chilling.

"Xavier?..."

"Shhh." He steps into the elevator with a smile, and he presses the close door button.

For a second, I thought he was going to let it slide, but boy, was I wrong.

As soon as the door closes, Xavier turns to me still with a smile.

"Xavier -"

Before I can even finish my sentence, he headbutts me, and I fall to the floor in pain holding my nose. It doesn't end there. He grabs my shirt and punches me repeatedly in the face.

He finally stops just when I think I am going to pass out. "The only reason I'm not killing you right now is because I need to find Jenna, and I swear to God, Jason, I could kill you right now." He growls and releases me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

My face is throbbing.

"Fuck your apology. Pull yourself together. We got shit to deal with." He says while fixing his clothes. "You got blood on my shirt asshole."

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