10. The Art of Scraping Through

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Year: 120 AC

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Year: 120 AC

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Queen Alicent stood alone in her quarters aboard the ship, the gentle sway of the vessel beneath her feet a stark reminder of the tumultuous waters her actions had stirred. The sun cast a warm glow through the ornate portholes, painting her surroundings with a subdued radiance. Her fingers absently traced the intricate patterns of the embroidered tapestry hanging on the cabin wall. The memory of her recent recklessness weighed heavily on her heart. The heir to the Iron Throne now bore the scars of her impulsive decisions. Guilt churned within her like the waves crashing against the ship's hull. She had acted in anger, motivated by her sense of justice, and now her children would surely pay the price. She wondered, almost paranoidly, when Rhaenyra would come after her children, for such a slight could not possibly be forgiven. 

A part of her couldn't help but feel a pang of satisfaction though. She knew she was not entirely remorseful. Deep down, a voice within her whispered that the consequences were worth it. It was a bold declaration of her defiance in a world where she was meant to be submissive. After years of bearing the mantle of her position, there was a freeing sort of relief in finally having the recklessness to say what she wanted. 

Lost in her contemplation, Alicent was startled as the cabin door creaked open. She turned to find her father staring at her, his sharp eyes scrutinizing and calculating as always. 

"Go on then, say your piece," Alicent mumbled dully.

"Now what piece is that," Otto raised a curious eyebrow.

"I've conducted myself in a manner...unbefitting my station. I lost composure and assaulted the Princess. I have disgraced myself and brought upon myself my husband's disfavour."

She recited the words almost mechanically as if she was reciting a passage from memory to her Septa. Her father no doubt disapproved of her behaviour and she was in no mood to hear his sermons. 

"Already the word is spreading and there is gossip speculating that I have gone mad. Perhaps I have..." she almost scoffed at her own words. 

Otto appraised her, almost curiously, as if seeing her for the first time. 

"I have never seen this side of you, my daughter. I even doubted its existence."

"I regret my actions!"

"Do you, now?"

"It was an ugly act, unbefitting a queen," Alicent insisted. 

She was unwilling to let Otto see that a part of her took satisfaction in her actions. She had done it for her son, not him. She did not want him to think that she was like him. She wanted to be nothing like him. 

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