Past

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Her

It's already late evening when she finally returns home. She knocks on the door and waits for her mother to open.

" Ya Rabbi I hope ummi isn't angry. And even if she is help me so that I'm honest to her about what really caused my delay. You know that all I wanted to do was save the man."

She wipes her face with her sleeve and the door opens. She was expecting her mother to berate her but instead she embraces her tightly.

" Alhamdulillah your absolutely fine. I swear I was so worried. The kind of thoughts that filled my mind. I can't even explain." Her mother speaks in relief.

Rayah breaks the hug and kisses her on her forehead.

"I'm so sorry and ashamed on making you so worried. Trust me it wasn't intentional. Allow me to explain what happened." She requests.

"I will always trust you janem." She pats her head lovingly. "Why don't you come inside first. Give me these, you must be tired."

Rayah hands her the groceries and steps inside. Her mother gives her a cup of water which she gladly accepts.

"You must be hungry, sit here and relax. I'll get us dinner." Fawzia says.

"Us ? Ummi you didn't eat anything ?" Rayah asks.

"How could I janem when you weren't home and I had these weird thoughts occupying my mind." She says heating up their food.

"I'm really sorry for causing so much trouble. I would have come back much earlier but then I got a little delayed at the fruit seller and then...."

"It's ok. None of that matters now that you're home." Fawzia places the plates on the table.

"No I want you to know."

Her mother looks at her. She adds a spoonful of rice in her plate and nods her head.

"Then I suddenly saw this weird man targeting an arrow towards another person in the grains shop. It looked like he was examining the grains and he was unaware of that man. And then he suddenly shot the arrow and I immediately pulled towards me. I don't know what made me do it but all I wanted to do was save that man. Then..."

"An arrow ? Ya Rabbi are you injured anywhere ?" Fawzia gets up from her chair and starts checking her face and arms for any injuries.

"No mama." Rayah made her sit again. "Both of us are fine. Then he thanked me and asked me if we would ever meet again in future. And then his friend came back with the man who shot the arrow."

"The man you saved...do you know who he was ?"

"No we didn't get time to introduce ourselves. And his face was covered with his keffiyeh. I could only see his eyes." She says and her thoughts go back to his ice blue eyes. How captivating they were. She wishes that she could see his face. Rayah has already lost her heart to him, she just doesn't know that yet.

"Rayah...azizem..?" She's pulled out of her thoughts by her mother. "Everything ok habibi ?"

"Yes." She finishes her meal.

"I'm glad that you both are safe." Her mother smiles at her.

"Mama ?"

"Yes."

"Do you think I'll ever see him again ?" She asks hopefully.

Her mother smiles wider being well aware of this new feeling in her daughter's heart.

"If you want to then you certainly will." She takes the utensils away.

"You should go and sleep now. You've been out for so long. I have a little bit of stitching do." Fawzia says from the kitchen.

"Do you need any help ?"

"No habibi, you go and rest."

Rayah goes to the kitchen.

"Tisbah 'ala khair mama. (Goodnight mother.)" She kisses her on her cheek.

She goes to her room, cleans herself and finishes her night prayer. As she lies down in bed her thoughts suddenly trace back to her parents, her real parents.

She was 10 years old when they had shifted to Baghdad for trade. They were living a happy life but one day her mother brings home another woman. She met her at the bazaar, the woman was trying to escape soldiers and after saving her she told Rayah's mother that she was homeless and abandoned. Her name was Fawzia Rafiq. Rayah's parents then took her in as a sister and Rayah found a friend in her.

Two years later in a flood caused by heavy rainfall Rayah's parents passed away. Then her aunt, Fawzia shifted with her to the outskirts of the village. They had a little house there which Rayah's father had built with a lot of effort but could not get the chance to live in it. So they shifted there and Fawzia turned their original home into a tailor shop to earn for them. Since then Fawzia became Rayah's mother and father.

She was only 13 when her parents passed away and it traumatized her to a great extent but Fawzia never gave up on her. She made Rayah her cheerful self again.

Unknowingly tears stream down Rayah's face. She shudders at the memory. Wiping away her tears she finally sleeps.

Two days later.

"Sabah al-khayr mama. ( good morning )"Rayah wishes her mother as she back hugs her.

"Sabah al-khayr habibi. Here have some fruits." She passes the bowl to her. "Rayah.....I'll be late today. I won't be able to join you for lunch, I'll meet you at dinner. Take care of yourself."

"Then let me pack you some bread and some fruit." She hurriedly gets up and packs up some food in a clean cloth.

"This wasn't necessary. I might not have time to eat..."

"But you must. You can't neglect yourself like this. I'll come with you then." Rayah gently scolds her mother.

"Ok I promise I'll save some time to eat. And you promise to be safe." Her mother laughs.

"I promise." She hugs her mother. "Fi amanillah. ( Be with the safety of God. )"

"Fi amanillah." Fawzia pecks her forehead and leaves.

Rayah quickly finishes her breakfast and engages herself in house chores. Times flies quickly and it's afternoon already.

She's had her lunch and she's hanging clothes to dry right now. She's absolutely free now and there's nothing do. Rayah walks up to her horse who's enjoying the grass she's offered him.

"Qamar, ( moon ) would you like to accompany me on walk in the hillforest today ?" She brushes his black hair with her fingers. He gives her a playful nod.

"Ok finish your meal quickly then." She plants a kiss on his head.

Once he's done she unties his rope and they walk side by side.

It's a very pleasant day,the birds happily chirping in their nests and the cool breeze messsing up her hair. She isn't wearing a scarf today because no one visits the hill or the place where they live. There are hardly any people there.

She's deep into the woods and high up in the hills. Rayah has always loved the hillforest. It's always been hers. She finds her comfort and her peace there. And now she's at her favourite spot. It is an open space with a huge tree beneath which she sits and sings to herself or writes poetry or just admire the nature while Qamar grazes happily.

Rayah hums to herself and starts making a flower crown with the flowers adorning the green grass.

Both are enjoying themselves.

Suddenly she hears something move behind the trees that are a little far away from her.

She instantly stands up in alarm. She pulls out a smaller dagger that she carrys for safety. It belonged to her father. Rayah hides behind the tree.

A man appears and without any warning she pounces on him. And they both fall down, Rayah on top of him placing the dagger on his throat.






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