you can't help but become the sun / julien baker

chapter seventy-one

Maggie's Pov,
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"Why'd you bring your guitar?" I asked, sitting on my side of the bed wearing an oversized shirt and some underwear.

"I wanted to show you something," she unzipped the guitar case and pulled out the dark acoustic guitar. She turned her instrument down to Drop D tuning and started finger-picking a song I'd never heard before.

She took a deep breath and started singing, "Gonna break your hand, tell me not to fight anymore, 'cause I feel yellow as a coward, pale as a flickering bulb, outside of a liquor store."

I watched with sincerity as she continued to play the song, I wrapped my arms around my legs and placed my cheek on my knee.

"Oh, how far do you think I can go beneath before you won't follow? Down to the center of a black hole, a ruined sinner and a wasted soul," my eyebrows furrowed, processing the words she sang. I hope she doesn't believe that's what she is.

"And I want you, I wanna let you break my heart, I wanna let you break my heart, I wanna let you break my heart, and I wanna let you break me," Julien's voice crescendoed, then diminished as she finished the song.

"Julien, that was beautiful," I whispered as she sat her guitar down. I moved closer to her, pulling her into a hug.

"I wrote it about you after you left my house when I had my....episode. I was worried that you were gonna leave but you're still here and we're getting married so I thought I'd show you," she explained.

"I adore it, what's it called?" I ask, tucking a piece of her drying hair behind her ear.

"Red Door," Julien answered my question, pulling away from the hug.

"You're so talented, you understand you're gonna have to sing that to me like so often, right?" I chuckle, leaning on her.

"I don't mind, I wrote it for you! Of course, I'll play it for you whenever you want," she kissed the top of my head. Julien held out her left hand in front of her, gazing at her engagement ring again.

"I take it that you like your ring?" I grabbed her hand gently and kissed it. I knew that she didn't wear much jewelry so I was really glad that she liked it.

"It's amazing, I couldn't think of a better ring to wear. It's perfect, it's not too feminine and flashy but it's not too dull and boring. It's perfect, honey," she grabbed my face and pecked kisses all over my face. Loud giggles fell from my lips when she pushed me down flat on the bed, my head hit the pillow as she climbed on top of me.

"Julien Rose!" I squealed as more kisses get pressed all over my flushed face and neck. She kissed up from my neck and planted a passionate kiss on my lips.

"Are you positive you want to marry me? Like what if you realize you don't want to deal with me? Everyone else I've been with has run away, why haven't you?" She asked, pulling away but staying on top of me.

"I'm positive that I want to marry you, I wouldn't have asked you if I wasn't sure. I can look past your flaws because I'm so in love with you, I'm never leaving you. I signed up for the bad stuff too when I asked you to be my girlfriend. I'm afraid you're stuck with me," I reassured her. She pecked my lips before moving off of me and took her spot next to me.

"I believe you, if i'm gonna be stuck with anyone I'm glad it's you," Julien's pretty eyes met mine while she pulled the covers over us. "Goodnight, my fiancé."

I clicked off the lamp then wrapped my arms around the girl next to me, "Goodnight, my fiancé."

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a/n: Red Door is my favorite JB song.

5 chapters + 2 epilogue ones left :(