you can't help but become the sun / julien baker

EPILOGUE TWO

Maggie's Pov,
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Faint piano gently poured out from the nursery door, when did that happen? I slowly inched towards the room, leaning against the door frame as I quietly admired my wife playing the arrangement of 'Christ Alone' to our baby to help her fall asleep in her crib.

I got emotional, silent tears rolling down my cheeks. Julien's gaze flickered from the keys to Aurora as she finished the song, successfully getting our angel to fall asleep.

Julien's head whipped around after hearing my shaky breath, she stood up from the keyboard and pulled me into a hug. "I put a piano in our baby girl's room, I hope that's okay. Why are you crying, honey? " she whispered, being mindful of the little person sleeping in the room.

"Of course it's okay, I guess just seeing you play that song to our baby to get her to go to sleep got me. I'm just so happy," I cried. Julien let go of me, she took my hand and led me out of Aurora's room. She shut the door very carefully and brought me to our bed.

We sat there, and she wiped my tears as she spoke, "I'm so glad I met you, we got married, had a perfect wedding, we're working our dream jobs, we flew to France, and adopted our beautiful daughter, getting to name her what we wanted. I love you so much."

"I love you too," I pulled myself together, kissing her lips. We'd gotten home from France two days ago, yesterday Noah, Josiah, and Fallon came over to help put things away so we could officially get settled in. The three-year-old was very excited about having a baby cousin.

"You know," she said, pulling away. "I didn't think I was gonna be a good mom," Julien admitted, scooting as close as possible toward me.

"Why not? You're amazing with kids," I thought that was ridiculous, it was hard to believe. Kids love Julien, Fallon and her are literally best friends.

"I don't know, thinking back to my past, I was just some punk lesbian who used to skip class to go chain smoke behind the bleachers and a few years ago I was blacking out in random places but now I have a fragile, impressionable, baby and It's partly my responsibility to try and prevent her from making the same wrong decisions that I made growing up. I guess I just didn't think I would be cut out for this," she shrugged.

"It was a miracle that they let us adopt her because of all the concerning marks on our records but it obviously was for a reason. If you were gonna be a bad mom, then she wouldn't be asleep in the room next door."

Our adoption process was stressful and painfully long. Julien's multiple car crashes and hospital visits after blacking out were the main red flags for us, and then it was the possibility of Brady, who's currently incarcerated, getting let go and coming after me. Eventually, with a restraining order, so many drug tests, and a driving test for Julien, we got the clearance and got placed on the list to adopt a baby.

We knew we only wanted one child, and while Julien didn't have a preference, I secretly wanted a girl. It took more months of waiting, but one day we got the call.

I had just gotten to the studio to pick up Julien, everyone had just vacated the room. We sat on the studio floor together and found out that there was a baby in France being born in a few weeks that needed a home.

In two weeks, we flew to France and picked up the baby. Aurora Rose was officially our child.

"I guess you're right, we have the cutest kid. Like, I get that I'm a little biased because I'm her mom but she is so damn cute," Julien leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Oh, I agree. With her big, two-toned brown eyes just like you, she's perfect. She's a very well-behaved baby," I rested my head on top of hers.

"She is! She might not be ours by blood but I love her like she is, it doesn't matter to me," she held my hand, rubbing her thumb along the back of it.

"I feel the same way, she's my whole world now," I chuckled. Loud cries echoed all throughout the house, Julien and I both sighed. "I'll get her," I stood up and made my way back to the nursery.

Aurora's cries died down when I picked her up but they weren't completely stopped. She continued to let out small whimpers, "Hey, hey, hey, it's okay! It's okay, baby."

"Bring her in here!" Julien shouted. I rocked her back and forth as I brought her into our room, she was sitting on the edge of the bed with her guitar. I took my spot next to her, cradling our child.

"What are you gonna play, honey?" I asked, making sure Aurora's head was supported. One thing we quickly learned was Aurora responded really well to music.

"Distant Solar Systems," she smiled, then started picking out the notes. After we found out we had gotten Aurora, Julien wrote this song with her in mind at the studio.

As the first few lines fell from Julien's lips, Aurora stopped fussing. "Distant solar systems and all the minor planets know nothing of our satellites and 747s. Fireworks that recreate, the birth of constellations dying suns that laugh at shotgun powder imitations."

I gently sigh, watching Aurora fall back to sleep. Julien's soft voice carrying her back to sleep, "God and I, we correspond with intermittent letters, I send postcards from the road, and now and then he answers, echoes northern city-states and all the mighty kingdoms, head of sewing needles on an unending horizon. I knew there was a scene before you even thought to sing it and call yourself a bastard and I love you like an orphan."

Overwhelming joy and gratitude fill my mind as Julien wraps up the song and positions her guitar on the ground. She moved close to me, wrapping her arms around me, and placed her chin on my shoulder so she could admire our daughter.

"I should put her back in her crib," I whispered, getting ready to bring her back to the nursery.

"Wait, wait, wait! No! I wanna just, I wanna just watch her. I don't know if that's weird but I just wanna watch her," my wife stopped me, her grip on me tightened.

"It's not, I get it. I guess we can keep her out for a little bit longer," I kept my voice hushed as I resettled down in my spot.

"I love you and I love Aurora," Julien kissed my shoulder, she moved one of her hands to touch Aurora's gently.

"I love you both more than you'll ever know," I smiled. I watched as Aurora wrapped her small hand around Julien's index finger.

Julien and I quietly cooed at the action, a comfortable silence fell over the room, as we watched our beautiful daughter. I kissed Julien's cheek and reminded her, "I remember who I am when I'm with you."

The End 💙