midnight rain, carlos sainz

ix

"Can we talk about the album?" Carlos asked, staring at the guitar perched in the corner of Alejandra's living room, "I'm guessing it's not as nice about me as sweetener was"

She laughed, "Um, it's definitely more honest than sweetener I think. I wrote that album while we were still our honeymoon phase and that obscured how I viewed our relationship a lot. Midnights still has love songs on it, but there's also a few songs that could be seen as break up songs but also it's a way of expressing how I feel about myself and how I think everyone views me"

He looked at the girl sat next to him, picking her nails subconsciously - a nervous habit that Carlos had seen her do many times before, "Do you regret naming that song after me?"

Alejandra thought for a moment, "I don't think so. When we first broke up I did, I actually bought a copy of the CD and scratched out the song from the track list", she laughed, looking at the Spaniard's shocked face, "But no I don't anymore. You were such a monumental experience in my life you know? I'd been in relationships before but I never loved them like I loved you - like I would've given you the universe had you asked for it - and I'd be lying to myself if I ignored the time we spent together because without it I wouldn't be who I am today." She shrugged.

Carlos Sainz had never heard Alejandra be so honest about their relationship, at least not since the beginning. Listening to her talk so openly while sat next to her on her sofa allowed memories of the then-new couple spending each evening together having a conversation about their days - known as "Carlejandra's Vent Session" as Ally liked to call it (much to Carlos' disdain: he'd wanted to name it "Shit Talk Hour") - and he wondered when had they stopped listening to each other? When had their true meanings got lost in translation? Why couldn't they go back to how it was?

"Can you play me a song from the new album?" His voice was barely more than a whisper, but Alejandra heard him and uncurled herself from her position on the sofa and grabbed her guitar.

She sat down and plucked at the strings as she tuned it, "Pick a number between 1 and 21"

"6"

"Okay, this one is called "Midnight Rain" and it is about us so please don't get too big headed hearing it," She strummed the guitar and begun to play.

Alejandra's voice accompanied by the strumming of the guitar, filled the airy room and every new lyric struck deep within the Spaniard sat opposite. Every line felt like Alejandra was peeling back layer by layer her true feelings and emotions - every single thing she had wanted to say to Carlos throughout their two year relationship was woven into the song.

"It's better when it's not acoustic to be honest, it's quite experimental and got a synth element-"

"It's perfect, Ally. Stop doubting yourself"

She nodded, tears prickling slightly in her eyes, "I know", she sniffed, "I just feel like I've got so much to live up to with sweetener being so successful, I don't want this to be a one time thing Carlos, and I know you've always told me it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks as long as I'm happy with it but I've always got this part of me that says I'm not good enough"

He took her hands in his, ignoring every part of him screaming to properly take her in his arms and shout that she was good enough for him, how she always had been and always would be. That it didn't matter how successful she was or not - she was the reason the sun shone, the earth turned and the birds sang in his opinion.

"It's okay Ally, I've got you"

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