The Winner

Set The Past On Fire

Nate ordered room service for us since I haven't eaten anything in a while.

I didn't realize how genuinely hungry I was until the smell of our breakfast filled the room. From pancakes to bacon and eggs, fruit, toast, yogurt, coffee, orange juice, you name it. Once again, he ordered way too much food. I throw my hair up in a ponytail and roll my eyes at him as he sets up the tray. He knows what I'm thinking with the little smirk on his face. There's no way we're going to finish all this.

We sit up in bed together with the tray of food. Like always, Nate watches me take a few bites of scrambled eggs before he starts eating. And once again, when I start digging in more due to my hunger, he smiles like a proud parent.

We eat in silence for most of the time before I ask what's been stuck on my mind.

"Why DID you come back??" I keep my face down to avoid eye contact and take a sip of my orange juice.

Nate puts his fork back on his plate and pushes the tray to the side. I watch his movements as he sits on his knees facing me. He holds my face, forcing me to look at him. His blue eyes brighten before he speaks.

"Because I felt awful yelling at you and leaving you like that. Because I love you, Jules."

"No, don't say that." I jerk his hands away from my face harshly and look away. I can't stand to hear him say those words. He doesn't mean them. No one ever does. Nate puts his hands right back on my face where they were previously.

"Julia. I love you. And I don't throw that word around," His British accent coming through with his emotions. "I don't use that phrase lightly. I've said it to three people in my entire life, you know that?"

Nate watches my eyes widen. He really doesn't take it lightly.

He counts on his fingers as he says each name - "Cara, my dad, Macy. That's it. I'm telling YOU that I love you. I don't need to hear it back, but you need to know." He leans his forehead against mine.

I notice he didn't mention his mother.

"Jesus, Jules, do you know how scared I was when I saw you in that tub? I thought I had lost you for good." He closes his eyes for a second before looking back up at me.

"Please don't ever let it get that bad, ok? I never want to go through that again. It kills me to see you this way." The pained look in Nate's eyes broke me. I was only thinking of myself, not how it would affect anyone else. Just because I'm damaged doesn't give me the right to damage him too.

I nod. "I'm sorry I put you through all this." I'm filled with guilt over all I've done to Nate. "You'll probably never look at a bathtub the same again. I caused that trauma."

Nate raises an eyebrow at me and uses his flirty voice. "No, that just means we have to make a NEW memory to cover that one, darlin." He kisses my neck.

"After all the shit I just put you through?? I fucked everything up." I squint my eyes and shake my head confused. I can't seem to process any of this.

"No Jule, You just fucked." Nate casually continues, "I don't even know how many women I've cheated on. It sounds terrible,I know. I didn't love anyone enough to care. I was just being selfish and a complete asshole. I'm sure you've done the same in the past at least once."

"I never have... Not once. Until now." Maybe that's why I've been tearing myself apart over everything. Something most people have probably done at least once in their life, I haven't done.

Nate's eyes widen in disbelief. "You're not serious..." He lets that sink in. "You are, aren't you? Sounds to me like you were just making up for lost time, doll. Everyone has to have at least ONE one night stand under their belt. You got it out of your system. Now we can move on." Nate nods. "I forgive you."