The Winner

Recovery

I open my eyes  thirsty and with a screaming headache. God, how long did I sleep for? I sit up and hold my head.

"Good morning."

I jump a mile in the bed.

"Shit! You scared the hell out of me! What are you doing here???" I fell asleep with James in my room and wake up with Nate?? Sounds about right with the way my life seems to go.

"Sorry, darlin." Nate gets up off the couch and moves to the chair next to my bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Why are you here, Nate??" I repeat.

"James was worried about you and didn't know who else to call. Do you know what time it is?"

I glance over at the small alarm clock on the nightstand. It's 4:45pm. I slept the entire day away. No wonder James was worried.

"We both stayed the whole day with you to make sure you were fine. He left not long ago to feed his dog or something." Nate takes my hand in his.

 "Jule... how many pills did you take??"

I take a deep breath in. 

"Too many."

 I don't even know how many I took because I took some on the flight back to L.A. then when I got here...and when I still couldn't sleep took another. That last one took awhile to kick in but when it did, it knocked me out. "But I didn't do it on purpose, Nate. I just needed to sleep and they took longer to kick in. When they did I realized it was too much...but it was already too late." 

Nate rubs the tension in the back of his neck. "You gotta stop taking that shit Jules."

"And you gotta stop drinking so much."

We are in the same boat right now. He can't judge me because he is doing the same exact thing just with a different substance. He drinks too much and he knows it. I start to get out of bed.  My feet touch the ground and before I can process another thought everything goes black.

*****

Julia passed out the minute she got out of bed. Fortunately I was right there in the chair. I  jumped up and grabbed her before she fell to the ground. My heart is pounding from jumping up so quickly.

"Shit!" I lower myself and her to the ground. "Julia.." I feel like this is fucking dejavu. Because it is. This same thing happened that first weekend Julia shut down.

She opens her eyes and comes to.

"Lemme guess.. you haven't eaten in awhile." She doesn't need to tell me. I already know. I sit her up and she gives me a defeated look. A look I've seen on Cara so many times. It breaks me. I  know Julia can't help it. I can't be angry at her.

"C'mon. Lets get some food in you." I start to get up with her in my arms but she tries to pull away.

"I'm fine, Nate."

"I don't think you are...." 

Julia looks away  in embarrassment and her cheeks flush. "I really have to go to the bathroom."

That's why she tried to pull away. She can barely stand without feeling lightheaded. There's no way she can walk herself to the bathroom. I don't want to embarrass her more.

"Alright. I gotcha love" I scoop her up and she hold on to my neck. She hides her face in my chest and I know she's starting to cry. "Hey, it's no big deal." 

"I'm sorry." her words barely come out. I carry her to the bathroom and help her. Leaving to let her pee and coming back in when she's done. She apologizes again and I shake my head at her as I pull her back into my arms.