The Host ¤ The Next Chapter

The Host ¤ The Next Chapter: 37

The Host ¤ The Next Chapter: 37

May

My arms are rigid in front of me as I grip the steering wheel. If I keep it up, they'll tire from being stretched out. Even now, I can feel the faint burning start to build up, but it doesn't matter. Getting to the base with everyone safe and alive means more than my sore arms.

Jesse's constantly on alert, keeping an eye out for vehicles. He uses the side mirrors to check behind the car. There's not another Soul, or Human for that matter, for miles. Only his paranoia keeps him on edge. Meanwhile, the girls are sitting tight in the backseat. They're eerily quiet. So is Skyfall, but I refuse to believe that he's dead. I keep telling myself he passed out from the pain. Even so, I can't shake the feeling that he's already gone.

The Seeker's sports car is able to take the bumps and the curves easier. It glides over the sand just like it did over the concrete. We aren't jostled around, like when I used to ride with Jesse in his pickup truck. I check the rearview mirror every now and again to make sure everyone's alright.

It's strange, I have to say, to look into the reflection and see myself---my old self. Except this time, I'm not controlling the body. Jenny is fully awake and aware. The shotgun's barrel is pointed at the floor and she holds it between her legs. One hand is on the butt of the gun. The other is on her lap. She's wearing all dark clothing---navy blue jeans, a black t-shirt. Only her bright red hair gives her life. I can tell she hasn't showered lately because of the smudges of desert dust on her face.

Meanwhile, here I am, dressed in head to toe white and not a scratch on me. I don't have a smudge of dirt or blood on me either. Even so, I feel like I'm the villain. I'm the one who allowed myself to be caught by Skyfall. I should have changed my name and shouldn't have caught his eye at that meeting. There were so many ways I could have avoided this outcome. 

At the same time, I'd trained to be a Seeker, even if that had gone against BlackFire's plans. She was dead now, however, so they didn't matter anymore. I had been taught to be deadly with my Seeker's training. I knew how to heal using the various tools my kind had invented. No wonder the crazy woman had wanted me dead---I was very valuable, both to the Souls and the Humans. And now that Skyfall and I had come to the conclusion it was the counsil that needed targeted, not the individual Seeker headquarters, we'd painted dangerous targets on our backs. 

And because of me, I thought, Skyfall had suffered.

He'd taken the literal and figurative bullet for me and it was all because of his feelings. I could recall back to when I first came to life---he'd been one of the first people in my life. He had been placed as the guard at my door, perhaps not because of coicidence. Then later, BlackFire had assigned him to go after me when I disappeared from Soul society. She'd probably found me out at the Healer's center before Skyfall did, and had only brought him along for the meeting to confirm her suspicions. Then, when I suddenly wanted to become a Seeker, she'd submitted and eventually paired Skyfall and I together. 

BlackFire had known all along, she'd been watching him slowly start to fall for me. That's why she had laughed at me when she'd had us both cornered at the Store. She was laughing at my innocence, my lack of noticing all the signs. Skyfall had even tried to tell me outright, in the car on the way over the Store. How could I have not of noticed?

Now I was driving this man I didn't even love to the human's base out of what? Guilt? I didn't know anymore. My stomach twisted at the thought of Taylor---what would HE think of me now? Would he feel like I did now, unsure of how to react to a person who had feelings for me, but I did not return? I blinked my eyes. They were burning, threatening to shed tears, but nothing came.