The Wind and the Horizon (Book 2 in the Starborn Series)

Chapter Eighteen

Content warning: Strong language

May sat back and let out a long exhale.

"Engaged." She let the word tumble into the silence hanging between her and Em.

Everything about Jeremy's behavior suddenly made a lot more sense. If he had any reason to hope Em was actually his lost fiance, even she couldn't blame him for disliking her.

Her eyes flicked up and caught the tense concern that filled Em's.

"I'm sorry I never told you." Em's voice was strained, her words fast. "I honestly never imagined a situation where it would have mattered."

Shame wrapped itself around May's lungs and squeezed. She knew where Em's distress was coming from: the last time May found out she was in the company of one of her girlfriend's former lovers she hadn't handled it well. The memory made her cringe. She forced it away with a shake of her head.

"It doesn't matter, right?" It was meant to be a reassuring rhetorical question but even May could tell it sounded a bit too desperate. "That was Audrey's past."

"Right," Em confirmed with a nod. "I'm not her anymore. I promise - I swear to you - anything she felt for him... it died with her."

A moment passed between them, each willing the other to speak when they knew they were holding back. A lonely wind swept around the trailer and for a breath their world trembled.

"Are you oka -"

"Are you goi -"

Their words fumbled over each other and stopped together. Em's hands tightened around May's.

"Are you going to be okay with this?" she asked. "Being around them - around him?"

May chewed her bottom lip and let the idea race through her head.

"We're not going to tell them the truth, right? About Welkin using her life force to make you?"

Em shook her head earnestly. "Fuck no."

"Then it doesn't matter," May concluded, her tone resolute. "I've got more than enough experience dealing with people who hate me for no good reason. Besides," she leaned in, relieving a hand from Em's grip and placing it on her cheek instead, "I'm more worried about you."

"Me? Why?"

May chose her words carefully.

"I still think we need to help them, but I also can't even begin to imagine what you're going through." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Are you going to be okay?"

Em most certainly did not look okay.

Half-drowned and exhaustion aside, Em looked as though she might vomit at any given moment. The usual pearly shimmer of her skin had grown dull and her eyes - red and swollen - swam with tears.

Her breaths quivered.

"I don't know," she admitted. "It is so disorienting to look at these people and know they used to mean everything to her - to me, in a way - and feel nothing. The memories are there but when I look at Jeremy... Fuck, it would destroy him if he knew. He's holding out for a miracle I can't give him."

May leaned even closer and rested her forehead against Em's. As much as she couldn't imagine walking away from Gaten, the little boy caught in the middle of a senseless struggle, she didn't want Em to suffer more than she already had.

"Whatever you choose, I'll follow your lead."

"Are you sure?" Em asked in a whisper.

"I'm sure."