The Wind and the Horizon (Book 2 in the Starborn Series)

Chapter Forty-Four

[ CW: Strong language ]

The first leg of May's journey passed in a daze. She barely registered the world as it raced past her window or the voices of her fellow passengers. The empty space at her side haunted her like a ghost.

Then, from the train tracks to the shipyards, May left Mondova the same way she first arrived what felt like a lifetime ago. This time, rather than booking a cabin on a passenger vessel, she negotiated her way into a spare bunk on a freight ship. Something about her misery craved discomfort, and even though it wasn't the safest option - a woman traveling solo on a ship primarily inhabited by rough and tumbled men - she took the risk out of spite.

Besides, the manual labor she traded for passage was a welcome distraction.

Yet when each day of working at sea was done, there was nothing to keep May from her thoughts. Every night she'd lie awake, listening to the creak of the ship's hull and running over every moment of what had led her to this loneliness.

The very public blow-up, Em sending May away - it had all been part of the plan.

But just because she had agreed to it - eventually, begrudgingly - didn't mean May was happy about it.

Her heartbreak and tears weren't just for show.

May had been right: Em was leaving her, just not in the way she had originally feared. Em had decided to finish the rescue mission with WIND, only without May.

"I need to know you're safe," Em pleaded after May vehemently refused the idea. "And nothing about this is safe."

"I know that," May snapped, angry that Em was serious about sending her away. "I've known that since the beginning - since I first decided to leave Hoku with you. Em, I'm doing this with you."

Em shook her head sadly.

"May, when we first got here, you asked me to promise I wouldn't lose control again." Em looked her in the eyes, her expression pained. "And believe me when I say I've been trying to be better, stronger. But I can't say with any real confidence that I could fight it if you were in danger again."

"Is that it then?" May could feel tears rising as she stomped about the office, pulling on her discarded clothes and pacing through her anxiety. "I'm just the damsel in distress of the group now?"

"Of course not," Em sighed. "But because of what I did, the Loyals know how important you are to me now. If you think they won't use that to their advantage then you haven't been paying attention."

May knew Em was right; her armor of anonymity was gone. But as far as she could see, it only meant she was as vulnerable as the rest of the team. She told Em as much, but it didn't seem to matter to the Starborn.

"Then let's just forget about it," May whispered, taking Em's hands in her own and clutching them to her chest as she sat beside her. Her bravado was slipping and desperation in the face of Em's firmness was taking hold. "Let WIND fix their own problems. We can run."

She felt hideous for saying something so selfish. In her mind, she saw Gaten as he was in Rue's locket and knew he didn't have a chance if they disappeared. Still...

Em touched her forehead to May's. "You know that's not true. This isn't going to go away just because we do. It needs to stop."

"Why does it have to be you?" May lamented. She felt like a child, unwilling and unable to process anything rationally.

"Because in a way, I'm responsible." Em's lip was trembling now, betraying her. "Audrey is the reason WIND exists in the first place. How am I supposed to run away knowing that something she did - something a piece of me started - is still hurting people? I need to end this once and for all."