GONE GIRL » Billy Hargrove

0.5 » all-nighter

A deafening scream erupted from the girl on TV and i jumped, immediately reaching for the remote to turn down the volume. I hoped Cameron wouldn't wake up, while leaning back again, clutching the blanket I had wrapped around me even tighter.

I didn't know why watching horror movies had been my first idea when thinking about what I could do to distract myself, when it certainly wasn't the best one. However it kept me awake and for now that was good enough.

Sleeping meant dreaming and dreaming meant having nightmares again and I tried avoiding those as long as it was healthwise acceptable.
Besides almost everyone would be hungover at school anyway, so I wouldn't stand out too much, which was more than convenient.

Glancing over at the clock I realised it was almost 5am aka I could go and have a shower soon, and get ready for school, maybe go for a run beforehand.

I finished the movie, turned off the TV and changed into some running attire, going for a small 15-minute morning jog. In hindsight that hadn't been the smartest thing to do, but lately I'd had a lot of those not so smart ideas anyway so one more wouldn't kill me.

∞

The clouds were of a dark grey and seemed to hang suffocatingly close above my head; I assumed it would rain later on and told myself to pack a raincoat just in case.

When I got back to the house I took a long shower, got dressed in some simple skinny jeans and a bandshirt, went back downstairs and prepared breakfast.
"When in motion an object will remain in motion," I mumbled to myself while warming up the pancakes.

"Say that again?" Cameron walked in and gave me a kiss on the cheek before slumping down at the table. "Ah nothing. How did you sleep?" - "Extraordinarily well. Did you drug me again?" I snorted. "Of course you did. I should scold you for that, you know, just to make sure I'm being responsible enough," He exclaimed while stretching, I heard a few bones crack slightly and felt a little shiver run down my spine.

"Oh so all the sudden you're a responsible adult?" - "I mean technically ... if you still want to go the legal ways we could officially get you away from your parents. And I could be your legal guardian if they consider me good enough. I'm sure my mom would take care of that." I turned around, slowly scanning his now concerned face. "Did you talk to Hopper?" Now he nodded. "He called earlier while you were showering." Great.

"You should've told me. You know I have to get back to Uni by Saturday, I could just skip my weekend classes if you want." - "No it's okay Cam," I cut him off. "Really. I'll cope. We'll find a way to deal with this, don't let me get in the way of your success." - "He's dangerous, Luce!" He snapped and I jumped. "I know that! I'll ... figure something out."

Cameron got up, placing his hands on my shoulders he looked me in the eyes. "At least tell one of your friends, will you?" I nodded, knowing that was exactly what I wasn't going to do. I didn't want to burden anyone else with this as long as I could figure something out myself.

"Good."

He sat back down, I placed the pancakes on the table, getting two cans of soda out of the fridge. We ate quietly until he crushed the empty can with his hand.
"Damn it" He scoffed, leaning back in his chair. "I'll head back later today and I'll go see mom and dad."

I choked on the last bits of the pancake, chugging down some soda. "What?" Cam tugged at his own hair.

"I'll explain the situation to them and I'll convince them to see what they can do for you. If he's here that means he possibly already went to look for you in other places with other family members. Trust me, we'll get this over with once and for all. I know you want things to remain as they are because that's just the simple version, not having to go through all this official business. But I can see how much this is killing you. Heck I'm not majoring in psychology for nothing, I can see what this is doing to you. And it's been like that for longer than just a few days. Let me help you. For once," He begged, tears glistening in his eyes. I sighed. "I've got to go to school now," I muttered, getting up and picking up my bag from the floor.

"Love You." - "...Love you too."

∞

I sat in the car for a while, choking back the tears that had been welling behind my eyelids for such an awfully long time. Now wasn't a time to break.

Lighting a cigarette I exited the car, puffed out some smoke and walked over to Steve.
"Everything alright with you?" I asked. He shrugged. "Hey didn't you want to quit smoking?" Now I shrugged. "It's complicated." - "Tell me about it."
Standing around silently we watched people arrive and make their way into the school building, while not moving an inch
ourselves.

"How's about we skip fourth and get some lunch and just talk?" Steve suggested after a while, I dropped my cigarette and stepped on it. "Sounds good."

We walked to our lockers together, then split up to each head to our according classes.

∞

History, first thing in the morning.
"Perfect," I muttered, sitting down behind Billy, who turned around to look at me.

"Well you look beat," He stated, raising his eyebrows. As a response I let out a yawn, almost knocking my book off the table.

"Rough night?" - "Rough life," I hummed before really thinking about it. With a rather distressed laugh I opened my binder and, once the teacher entered, started scribbling sleeping pills and mugs filled with coffee that looked like blood and other stuff that seemed appropriate at the moment.

It started raining halfway through Calculus which meant we wouldn't be doing track in P.E today, fortunately. If luck was on my side for once we'd just watch the guys play basketball, so I'd get to read or maybe even take a nap.

At this point I was tired enough to not even care about nightmares anymore.