GONE GIRL » Billy Hargrove

0.33 » apologies

I had picked up my sketchbook and the manuscript and gone upstairs to my room after telling Billy he could sleep on the couch.

I didn't sleep that night.

I watched the rain outside for hours as a million thoughts were rushing through my head all at once.
   I cried for a while, then I went and showered, only to return to the windowsill because Loki had fallen asleep sprawled across the bed.

At six in the morning I decided to go back downstairs and make some coffee. While staring out of the window, warming my hands with the steaming mug, I heard shuffling from the living room for a bit. Soon enough Billy stood next to me, looking out the window as well and I poured him some coffee.

"I'm sorry," he broke the silence, which caused me to look up at him. "I'm sorry for just assuming things. And for being such an ass. I- … I was jealous. I was jealous that you got away from your father for good, and I'm still stuck with mine. I was jealous of you and angry at myself for not getting my shit together. That I'm too scared to even do anything about my situation."

Did ... did he really just admit that he was scared? Out loud?

I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Drink your coffee."
He took a sip and sat down at the kitchen table while I rummaged through the fridge, trying to find something I could make a breakfast out of. After five minutes I concluded that I would have to go grocery shopping on Monday and resorted to pre-made waffles.

"You're right by the way," I said while heating up the waffles and Billy raised an eyebrow. "You did behave like a complete ass."

He looked down into his coffee mug and I turned on the radio on a low volume.
"I'm sorry." - "Two apologies in one day? You sure you're you?" A smile tugged at his lips and I felt a little better.

"I didn't mean what I said."

I chopped up two bananas and added them to the waffles to make it all look at least a bit appealing and put some chocolate sauce on top, placing one plate in front of Billy before sitting down across from him.

"What?" I asked as I took another sip from my coffee and stuffed some food in my mouth.
"The whole come crawling back thing. I wanted to mean it-" He took a bite of his waffle as well and stopped talking for a moment. "-because … well I sort of-" He set down the fork and knife and bit his lower lip. "I wanted to hate you. I wanted to get myself to hate you. I was so mad at myself for opening up to somebody. For being weak. But when I was standing out in the rain yesterday, the only place I thought I would feel safe was here."

It was silent for a while.

"And I've done it again. Just forget what I said," He said before continuing to eat, and we finished breakfast in silence.

"It's not weak," I said as I placed the dishes in the sink and leaned against the kitchen counter. "Opening up is probably the hardest thing to do when you're stuck in a situation like this. Trusting somebody is hard when all you've ever known is people hurting you."

He nodded, getting up as well to stand in front of me.
"You're the only person in this place who really understands me. I'm so fucking sorry that I treated you like shit," Billy said and I cracked a smile.
"You better be," I replied, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "Oh, also … I dunno if you get into even more trouble staying away, but if things ever get too much you can just crash here." - "Thank you."

He smiled at me and took another step forward when there was a sudden knock at the door and I rolled my eyes, grinning. "I'll go get it."
With that I skipped to the front door and cracked it open, only to reveal my best friend standing there.

"Steve, hey!" I said a little louder than necessary and just hoped Billy would hear it.
"Hey, uh-… can I come in?" - "Ah yeah sure," I said, opening the door a little more and turned around at the same time, only to see Billy heading up the stairs.

"You okay, Luce?" Steve asked as he closed the door behind him and hung up his jacket next to- … next to Billys. "Didn't know your cousin wears leather jackets," was his only comment and I let out a sigh when I heard a door close upstairs.

"Is he home again?" Steve asked and I shook my head.
"I um… I had the windows open in my studio because I had some really nasty smelling colours."
My best friend nodded, still having an eyebrow arched up.

"Anyway, what's up?" I asked and he looked around the living room. "I sort of forgot my History folder here the other day."

"Of course you did," I chuckled and shuffled towards the staircase. "It's probably still in my room somewhere."
Steve followed me to my room and as I opened the door I prayed that Billy had chosen one of the other three rooms up here. Fortunately that seemed to be the case and I dug around the pile of stuff on my desk until I finally found Steve's folder.

"Thank you," He said and smiled, heading back downstairs.

"So you drove all the way over here just to get your folder?" I asked and he slid back into his shoes. "You could've just called and I would've brought it in on Monday." - "Yeah but the test is tomorrow, so…"

I dropped my face into my palm.

"You forgot, didn't you?" He stated and I nodded.
"I'm just gonna wing it …" I sighed and Steve laughed, leaving the house again, driving off.

After closing the door I sank against it and let out another long sigh. There were two options: I could skip class tomorrow, or I would have to spend the remaining day forcing tons of information into my brain.

"You alright there?" Billy asked behind me and I jumped slightly, my head still against the wooden door.

"I guess. Where did you hide?" - "Bathroom," He answered and I nodded, turning back around.

"Steve would have murdered me if he found you - you of all people - in my house." - "Pretty sure he would have killed me," Billy said and I shook my head.

"Either way he wouldn't like you being here at all."

He grinned slightly and stood a little closer to me.

"I've got a feeling he wouldn't like this either."

And as I gave him a confused look he took another step forward, placed a hand on my cheek and pressed his lips onto mine.

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A/N: 'bout time, wasn't it? lol
also, I'm sorry this update is so late. Settling in with university and everything was a little more stressful than I expected it to be and I was just tired 24/7.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading and thank you all so much for almost 34k reads and the comments and everything💕