PHOENIX
Saturday. 9am. My mother's fashion studio.
"Those dark circles under your eyes look awful. How are we supposed to work with them?"
"I don't know, Mum. Cut them off."
"That's not funny. What the hell did you do to get them this dark?"
I couldn't sleep because I cried the entire night, I think, but don't say. Because I never say what I think. I just lie, lie, and lie, which results in hurting, hurting, and hurting. I don't know who I hurt more, Aza or myself. Neither do I know who I'm madder at, Aza or myself. Or actually, I know - myself. Because I'm an arse.
"Anyways," my mother says. "Let's just start with choosing shoes."
"What would even be the point of doing makeup now? I don't understand why I have to do it now, when that bloody event is weeks away."
"Language, Phoenix," my mother snaps. "We always do it like this, you have to look perfect. Besides, the event is not weeks away. It's very soon."
"How soon? In two weeks?" I snort.
"No, Phoenix. In one."
I drop one of the shoes I'm holding. "In one?
"Phoenix." She picks up the shoe and snatches the one I'm still holding out of my hand.
"But... Not on Saturday, right?"
"Try these." She thrusts a pair of heels at me.
"Mum, it's not on Saturday, right?"
"Can someone," she shouts, "please look for silver jewellery?"
"Is it on Saturday?"
"I said try on the shoes."
"Mum?"
"What, Phoenix? It's on Saturday, okay? Now put on the damn heels!"
"But - but on Saturday..."
"What? It's not like you have any plans; you never do. And if you do, cancel."
"But Saturday, Mum - that's -"
"Jewellery," my mother barks. "Where the hell is the jewellery?"
I tell myself my mother must have forgotten. I tell myself my mother didn't do this on purpose. I tell myself it must be a coincidence. I tell myself she knows. I tell myself she can't have forgotten. She can't have forgotten that in a week, on Saturday, it will be one year since she has lost her son, and I have lost my brother. There's no way she could have forgotten. And deep down I know she hasn't. She hasn't forgotten. But her work is simply more important to her than her family is.
I take deep breaths and put on the heels, like my mother wants me to.
_____
AZA
Ky: that was a real dick move
Cass: like a huge one
Me: i know i fucked up
Ky: what happened to being a vagina??
Cass: why would you act like that??
Me: I KNOW I FUCKED UP
Me: and i want to fix it, okay?
Ky: i don't think you can
YOU ARE READING
Her
Teen FictionPhoenix LeFlore: She is alive. Her brother is dead. People are moving forward. She is standing still. He was everything. Now she has nothing. Aza Ainsworth: She is a soft girl who acts tough. She is a warm girl who was treated coldly. Someone made...
