Her

56

PHOENIX

Sunday. Ky teaches me how to skateboard because it's something I always wanted to learn.

"Think we might have found something Phoenix LeFlore can't do."

"Shut up. It's difficult, okay?"

"It's literally just standing on a moving board, babe. It's actually pretty easy."

"That's true. Took me about five minutes to learn it."

"Good for you, Cassandra. Really good."

"I know. Thanks."

"You just need some time," Aza says. "By the way, I'm starving. I thought we wanted to get food?"

"I won't have food," I say, "until I'll manage to properly do this shit."

"But then you'll starve to death," Ky says.

"I don't care."

"But I do," Aza says. "Which is why I'll get us some food."

"Great! I'll go with you."

"No, you won't - you said you'd teach me, Ky!"

"All right, all right. Gotta listen to the princess. Don't want to be beheaded."

In the end, Cass says she'll go with Aza. So they both take their things and turn to leave.

"Just don't get me fries with milkshakes," Ky says. "That's gross."

"You want me to get you fries and a milkshake?" Aza says. "Got it."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Bye, loser," she says, grinning at Ky. She steps to me and gives me a kiss. "Bye, Nix," she says.

"So should I kiss you too?"

"Shut up, Cassandra."

Cass gives me a hug, then they both leave.

"Earth to Phoenix, you're meant to skate, not stare at Aza's ass."

"Sorry," I say. "And I wasn't staring at her ass."

"Right. You were just staring at the region between Aza's back and Aza's legs."

We skate - or try to skate - for a while. Eventually, I manage not to fall off the board every minute anymore.

"You're not that bad. You'll probably never manage to do any tricks or move, like, more than ten metres, but - yeah, you're not that bad."

"Well, luckily I have a really cool, gorgeous green vintage car."

"I hate you."

"Thanks."

We sit down on the ground. Ky puts his feet on his skateboard, moving it back and fourth. I close my eyes, taking in the last bits of sunshine.

"Phoenix?"

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

I open my eyes. "Yeah," I say, shrugging. "I guess."

"Really?"

I look at Ky. There isn't the usual grin on his face but seriousness.

"What's going on?" I say.

"Well," he says, "what's going on is that your mum kicked you out."

"Oh." It's weird, but somehow, I forgot about it. "Yeah, she did," I say. "Well, I'm actually... I'm okay. I guess."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you, or something."

"It's all right."

I close my eyes again, feeling the sun on my face.

"Phoenix?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry. About what happened."

I open my eyes again. I look at Ky.

"Thanks," I say. "I guess."

"No, I mean, I'm... I'm sorry that... about what I did."

"I don't understand. What exactly did you do?"

"Well, it's rather what I didn't do, isn't it?"

"What? Ky, I don't understand what you're saying. Stop talking rubbish."

"I'm trying to apologise."

"For what?"

"Well, for not being your boyfriend!"

"What?" I laugh. "No offence, but I don't want you to be my boyfriend. I'm quite in love with Aza, you know. I mean, she can be annoying, but well..."

"God, Phoenix, I thought you were smart. I mean I'm sorry for - well, for not being your fake-boyfriend or whatever."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I don't want to be your boyfriend. No offence."

"Ky - no. You don't think what happened is your fault, do you? Because it's not."

"Except it is, isn't it? Part of it? I mean, if I would have pretended we were dating -"

" - she would have found out anyway. The truth always come out, Ky."

"Maybe it wouldn't have."

"It would have. Eventually, I would have told her. At least I think so."

"You really think so?"

"I do. She's my mum, Ky. Even if it doesn't always feel like she is."

"But she kicked you out!"

"But she's still my mum. And... I'm glad she knows now. Maybe she didn't..." I swallow. "She didn't react how I wanted her to, but - well..." I swallow another time. "She knows, and..." And I'd love to say that she accepts it, accepts me, loves me. But I don't. I can't. "She knows." I shrug. "That's all."

Ky pulls me into his arms. He hugs me, and I hug him back. In this moment, I feel like I'm having a brother again.