To Love, Once Again

Chapter 32

Lucien awakes before Sera does, opening his eyes to the sight he'd longed to see so badly. Only her. His Sera. He presses a kiss to her brow that wrinkles in sleep at the bright sunlight and birdsong. The dawning light in the room makes the ballroom glow, glancing off the well-crafted gold leaves and branches that curl around the windows.

The lovers lie there in a nest of messy clothes, in a world of their own. Sera uses Lucien's arm as a pillow, and he sets his other arm around her waist.

"Lucien...." Sera murmurs into his chest.

He tucks the strands that stick to her cheek behind her ear. Sera's eyes flicker behind her lids as she slowly wakes up.

"Good morning" He kisses her shoulder.

The happy golden glow in Sera's eyes sparkle when her eyes open to see him. Her eyes, hazy with sleep and confusion, widen then, the bright light fading away to leave brown eyes looking back at Lucien in shock.

This wasn't a dream!

"We shouldn't have done this."

Lucien couldn't hide the hurt that flashes across his face.

His peaceful atmosphere disappears, replaced by a cuttingly sharp anger.

"You agreed to this."
Sera gives up on pulling out her dress from the messy pile they lie on top of, and scoots away from Lucien.

"I-......I thought it was a dream!"

Sera pushes her long hair and tries to cover her body from his gaze. It's no use, he'd already seen it all.

It sounded like a stupid excuse. But the ballroom, dark but magnificent in all its regal glory, had made her feel like she was a character in a fairytale. Not Sera, a stupid girl who made stupid mistakes, hurting the people she loved. The scene of her dancing with Lucien felt too good to be true, taking her back to the time when they'd danced their first dance after their wedding in this very hall.

He's unashamed at his nudity, sitting up, his body showing her he still wanted her in this moment.

"Why can't we do this? When we've already shared so much before?"

"But that was before.." Sera emphasizes.

"I don't know what-." She gestures to herself and Lucien "-what this is."

"Everything's different, you're getting married to someone else!"
He pushes back his hair that falls in tousled waves."Didn't I make a vow to you, to honor you. To love you? "

Sera wrung her hands. Why was he asking something like this. He should know out of all people that things were different now.

Quietly she asked him, "What's the name of our child?"
Lucien was dumbstruck. He breaks his gaze away from hers for the first time.

When Sera saw her son for the first time since her return, this question had niggled away at her. She didn't want to keep calling him baby. Sera was his mother. She wished she could say his name...

But she never said it.

Because she didn't know it.

Lucien and Sera were going to name their baby together, but she'd left before the christening.

Come to think of it, she hadn't heard Bea say his name at all. Lucien hadn't even mentioned him up to this point.

"He's our child, but you didn't name him, did you? You put him in a cottage away from the castle, kept out of sight for so long that the townspeople didn't even know if our baby was still alive."

Did Lucien love her, to treat their son this way? For a small child to have no name for 5 years....

Maybe it was all a scam from the beginning, and he'd married her to fulfill the prophecy, capitulating to his father's wishes. How he must've laughed in the shadows when he saw how hard she worked to support him, to be a good Queen..

"I can't be yours anymore. You're the King, and I'm the King's Maid. That's all...." She turns away from him, unable to say these words in front of his gaze which grows darker and darker.

"NO!" Lucien roars in anger.

He's angry at himself, at this situation. It wasn't supposed to be this way. This wasn't what he had planned. He hated the direction Sera was taking the conversation.

Sera can feel his warmth behind her, skin to skin, as he embraces her from behind. Lucien buries his face into the back of her neck. She struggles to escape, but the difference in power is like a pebble against a mountain. Sera couldn't break out his enthralling warmth.

He makes a merciless pronouncement, lips against her hair.

"It's no use. You're mine"

Sera doesn't know if she's happy, sad, or angry. A myriad of emotions swirl within her at the pronouncement.

But this wasn't right.

"No! I can't be yours!"

Lucien searches for words to try and make her understand.
".............You're the King's Maid aren't you? Then, follow my orders"

His face hidden in her hair, Sera was unable to see the angry, unwilling frown on his face as he said those words.
"Are you saying....that this..is my job too?"

That would mean all the rumors were right. Her face feels wet. Strange, she didn't feel like crying. Her despair was a deep pit that grew blacker as she fell. She'd let down Fawn, and become his mistress.

Lucien doesn't respond for a long time, and Sera can feel his arms tremble the tiniest bit. He doesn't know how to tell Sera how desperate he feels wanting her to stay with him, to choose him, but unable to get the words out.

"Yes. I won't allow you to refuse."

She sucks in a breath.

"If I don't have the option of refusal, promise me this,"

Sera couldn't let him take everything from her. She wanted....

"I'll fulfill all my duties. Only..let me live with my son, in the cottage."

Quietly, he speaks. "No"

He wouldn't even give her that. Sera was angry. She said she would do everything he wanted! Sera struggles again, her anger fueling her to buck and kick at him, to get away from him. She wanted to go back to where her son was sweetly sleeping, waiting for her.

"Shh-" Lucien whispers to her, trying to calm her like he would a horse. It works, only because Sera can't keep fighting against this monster of stamina for long.

"You'll stay with me. I'll allow him to come into the castle to meet you."Lucien relented.

He was finally able to curb the angry jealousy he felt for his own blood for sharing some of Sera's love. It sounded pathetic, he knew. He doesn't regret it. He fought a war against himself, to push down the strong urge that didn't want to share his Sera with anyone, even his own child.
The tears trickle down her cheeks as bird calls herald the arrival of morning.

"Didn't you have a name for him that you were going to tell me?"

So Lucien remembered. It was an idea she wanted to surprise him with, teasing him about it the morning before she got the sudden notice that she could leave.

In a small voice, she whispers.."Leo, after my grandfather, Leonard."

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Note from Tofu:

We finally know our baby's name! I like to imagine him like a lil' baby lion, cute but fierce, like his daddy :) rawr