The Bright Side of Darkness

Twenty-One

The sun is low in the sky, but its warmth covers me in a tender blanket as it spreads its orange arms over the trees ahead. The cool water of the lake ripples in front of me, and with it, my reflection. Wooden dock planks creak behind me as Asa walks to where I am. I didn't notice his presence before but don't move as he approaches the edge of the dock. He pulls his pant legs up before sitting down and easing his feet into the water with a content sigh.

Something about him seems different. Then I realize his hair is a different color.

"Blonde suits you," I comment, running my hand over the top of his head.

He smiles sheepishly and looks away. "Thanks. I was gonna dye it green, but I think I'll leave it like this."

I lounge on the dock and stare up at the sky, smiling in contentment. Today was a good one. The sun isn't overbearing, and the air is warm but not humid. Wind lifts my hair, caressing my face with it, and a laugh bubbles from my throat as it tickles me.

I look over at Asa, who is staring at me with a look I can't place. A smile lights up his face as he turns back to the lake.

I push myself onto my elbows. "How come you didn't buy a basket today? I saw you at the auction."

He shrugs. "None of them seemed appealing." He says it in such a nonchalant way, like it doesn't matter, but underneath that, I can tell something is bothering him. Whose basket was he planning on buying?

"You know." He picks at a rip in his jeans. "You didn't have to lose a bunch of weight for guys to notice you."

I frown. That's a bit random. "I didn't do it for guys' attention." That isn't entirely true. I've always thought that being pretty means being thin. In high school, it does, at least. I sigh. "I guess I just wanted to feel pretty."

Asa offers me a smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You've always been gorgeous. Inside and out. You just didn't believe it."

I sit up. He thinks I'm pretty? After being told the opposite so many times before, it feels good to hear.

"It's a great day to swim, don't you think?" He tilts his head up at the sky and peers at me from the corner of his eyes. His lips spread apart in a lopsided grin as he puts his feet up onto the dock and tugs his shirt over his head.

My breath catches in my throat as I catch sight of the abs I saw on his Instagram.

He tugs his pants off and I turn away, a blush heating up my cheeks. I don't look back in his direction until I hear a splash. His head resurfaces as he whistles and waves a hand at me.

I shake my head. "Oh, no, thank you."

He grins. "You sure? The water's nice and warm."

I'm not fond of the idea of him seeing me in my underwear. Or anyone, for that matter.

"I'll stay up here, fully clothed."

"Suit yourself." His eyes land on my arm and he narrows his eyes. "What's that?"

I look down at it in confusion. "What's wh-"

He grabs my leg and puss me into the water. I splash to the surface, spluttering, and glare at him.

"You - argh!" I splash him. The hem of my dress rises up around me and keeps getting stuck to my hands as I float.

He wipes his face. "You dare splash me?"

My heart sinks. I try to kick backwards but the water slows me down. "Wait, Asa, no!"

He smacks the top of the water, and a wave splashes over me. I duck under the water and pop up on the other side of him, using my weight to dunk him under. When he emerges again, I push him away before he can grab me. My hands rest on his chest, and I can't force myself to pull them away as I breathe heavily, grinning.

His muscles ripple under my grip as he laughs, and I run my arms up his chest until they rest around the back of his neck. Butterflies erupt in my stomach at our close proximity. His eyes meet mine and he draws me in closer with his arm.

Heat rises in my core as soft lips meet mine. My heart skips a beat, the feeling hypnotic beyond all reason. My toes curl and all of my senses unfurl as the minty taste of him silences any thoughts. The smallest hint of his subtle, earthy cologne covers me in a blanket of warmth.

My hand winds through his hair to pull him closer. A low sound rumbles from his throat. I'm weightless. Lightheaded. My whole body tingles. The feeling of his frame leaning onto mine as his arms wrap around me feels almost forbidden. He pulls me in, claiming my mouth again, delicate but searing, until my knees quiver around him. By the time I'm aware of my hands, they've already slipped back down to his chest, where his skin is smooth and radiating heat.

I remain breathless, stunned, and completely unprepared for these sensations. It's like it shouldn't have to end. As if I could stay like this forever. But things aren't that easy.

I push away, gasping for air. My legs stagger back a bit in the water before stopping. Asa is in front of me, looking just as surprised as I am. My fingers graze my swollen lips subconsciously as I realize what I've just done.

"I -" Words evade me. The memory of my picnic with Tay earlier creates a knot in my stomach as I stare at Asa.

Asa runs a hand over his face, letting out a groan. "I'm so sorry." He wades over to the dock and pulls himself up onto it. He slides on his pants and gathers his shirt in his hands. "I'll, uh, leave now if you want me to."

My heart gives a squeeze. I don't want to send him away, but I need to sort out my feelings. "I-I'm sorry, but I need room to think, so that's a good idea."

He presses his lips together and looks up toward his car. "Right." He smacks himself once as he makes his way up the hill.

I climb onto the dock and wait for a few long minutes before making the same walk to my Rendezvous. The drive him is a blur as I try to sort my thoughts. Two guys. Both of whom I have kissed today. And both of whom I have feelings for, though my crush on Asa is a lot newer and now almost rivaling my feelings for Tay.

The sun has already begun to set, casting shell-pink and pale purple rays through the sky, and it's now reaching ten o'clock. Mom knows I was planning to head to the lake after the fundraiser, so I hope she won't ask why I'm wet. Rows of houses pass me in a blur on my way home. Norton Valley has always looked the same. Cul-de-sacs here and there, and most of the houses here look the same.

When I make it home, I drag my heavy limbs up to the front steps. Mom is on the couch watching TV when I burst through the door on the verge of tears. I throw myself into her lap and pull a pillow under my head to bury my face into it.

"You okay?" She runs her hands through my tangled hair.

"Why do boys have to be so annoying and complicated?" I mumble into the pillow.

"Hm." She sighs at me. "Love ain't so easy all the time. Sometimes you've gotta go through a few people before you find the right one. Sometimes it's just a losing game."

I groan. "But why can't I just win for once?"

She pats me on the head. "Take a shower and get some sleep," she says. "You have school tomorrow and Lottie is supposed to come over at four. Can't have you lazing around all day."

I frown. She's not wrong. It's around ten-thirty now and pitch-black outside. I have to be up by six-thirty.

By the time I make it up to my bed, it doesn't take long for me to fall asleep.