The Cheerleader's Side Piece

Back To School(4)

A black turtleneck, pink jeans and my hair falling over my shoulders. I looked more dead than alive. I couldn't get any sleep since I was busy thinking and cursing today. No motivation to go to school, I pick up my bag and head downstairs. My parents are busy doing their usual routines, laughing and being all cheery. They're all happy... and in love. Clutching the necklace beneath my sweater, I leave my house before packing my lunch or even saying good morning. Walking down the street I worry with every step. What happens if I run into Victoria? What happens if Cassie sees us? What do I do? What do I say? Should I just avoid them both? I think that's my safest option, but Victoria hasn't done anything wrong for me to avoid her... it would be unfair to her. Every step I took felt heavy as if I had boulders tied to my ankles, trying to stop me moving. It was sign, my body warning me, that something was going to happen. That something painful and dangerous was going to happen and I was terrified.

Right at the entrance was the cheer team. They were dressed up and ready to get onto a bus. Hiding myself within the crowd, I hope her eyes don't fall on me. She was brighter than anyone there. Her blonde hair sparkling in the sun. Her eyes raked over the crowds, searching for me but I hid behind those who were taller... those who would have me blend in. When I entered through the gates, I felt a weight slip off of me. Like I had made it to heaven.

But it wasn't heaven but hell.

"Ani!" She shouted, her light footsteps running towards me. My skin crawled, it tingled. All her marks ached. She stood before me, smiling and glittering gleaming in her eyes, "Did you not see me? I swear I was trying to stand out!"

"Oh sorry. I was busy thinking about... ASB work and some Newspaper stuff. I just blanked out," I lied, hoping she bought it. The narrowing of her eyes made me sweat. She could tell. She knew. She knew I was lying... that I was hiding and was scared to death by her. That I was afraid of what she could do to me, what she would do to me. I was scared... so freaking scared.

She was reaching out her hand, about to touch my neck when I was ripped back. The smell of vanilla and oil, the dyed hair that seemed a bit more pink in the light than purple. Falling into her chest, feeling her arms wrap around my bust, she places her chin in the crook of my neck and says, "Well good morning Miss Winters, what's your business with my dear Antonia?"

My blood ran cold, the look in Cassie's eyes was dark and furious. They glared at one another, the tension between them so thick it was beginning to suffocate me. Cassie stepped forward, her tone low and threatening, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Just greeting you," she said, suddenly smirking, "oh you mean with Antonia? Oh I'm just hugging the girl I like." Cassie's eyes widen, her hands balling into fists. In the corner of my eyes I see a few girls gossiping and pointing at us. I felt uncomfortable... very uncomfortable. "Seems like your bus is here Winters. May wanna get your sparkly ass over there... can't have the team captain late," she tugged me away, but as we passed Cassie she whispered, "don't get upset. It's not my fault you decided to treat what was yours poorly. You've got no room to bitch."

As she tugged me away, I fought back to go to her, but she just pushed me forward. Cassie just stood there, her back to me... hands balled at her side. It was the first time she didn't have something to say and the first time I didn't defend her.

Nor wanted to.

~

"You shouldn't have done that Victoria," I shuffled through the papers, stamping the ones I approve, ripping the ones I disagree with, "you know what kind of trouble I'll face when I see her again? How much I will have to deal with?"

"Then leave her and be with me," she said, grabbing the next stack for me since I was too short to reach it.

"It's not that easy!"

"Yes it is," she handed me the first packet, "you and her obviously are only together because neither one of you want to be the one to end it."

"That's not it at all," I stamped it, holding my hand out for the next one, "Cassie and I... we have a certain way we do things. Our relationship isn't like others."

She sighed, "That's what people say when they're in toxic relationships."

"Toxic?" I asked.

"yep."

"What do you mean 'toxic'? You've never witnessed us," I said, a little annoyed.

"That's true... I don't know what you two do alone," she admitted, making me feel a little better. She helped me carry the stacks to their proper places, even taking mine away from me because I was struggling a little. She pulled out my chair so I could sit and read over the drafts for the speeches next month. Taking a seat beside me, she lays on her arms and says, "But I do see her making out with other guys, standing you up on dates, and talking shit behind your back." I flinched at her words but she what she said last brought me to tears, "And just a second ago, you were shaking so bad... like you were waiting for her to smack you or something... and when I saw that, it pissed me off." Gripping my pants, I just start crying and whining. She instantly pulled me out of my seat into her lap. Holding me close to her and whispering into my ear, I feel my heart race, "Antonia... I don't think you believe me when I say I like you, but I really do. Knowing you're dating her is hard but what's hard is seeing her treat you like shit and you just defending her. I can't stand it." Images of that night flashed through my head. The bite marks, the pain, the begging, the tears, the insults... I can't handle it. It hurts.

She rubbed my back as I cried... not asking why I was crying nor why I was scared earlier. She was just there... holding me.

And I felt safe... and loved.