The Cheerleader's Side Piece

My Anger(7)

The rain came crashing down against the pavement, leaving no little space dry. I watched as individuals scatter around, trying to find shelter. It was barely seven in the morning and here the streets were filled with people, shouting and talking. Reminds me of my time in University. I don't think a single evening went by without some person shouting or causing a ruckus. Seated in the corner of a new coffee shop, I waited for my guests to arrive. They were late, which isn't surprising anymore. My whole life they had been late to everything or... they never showed up to begin with.

When their car pulled in, I couldn't help but sigh. They had finally arrived, yet I couldn't wait for them to leave. They walked up, hand-in-hand, with a face that was unpredictable. My mother seemed to be nervous; anxious about our reunion, and my father wore an expression that said he cared little about the meeting. The same old faces I saw as a child, except more wrinkles and less color. My mother came in first, observing the room and when her eyes fell upon me, she shook. She gestured for my father to follow, both of them stepping towards me with weary. Straightening my back and placing my warm drink to the side, I watch them take their seats in front of me.

For a moment we sat in silence. My eyes stayed on their faces while theirs squirmed around, avoiding my stare. Sadly, they're the same. They haven't grown to accept my truth... which infuriated me. No longer being able to wait out this competition, I hand them the folder and grab my things.

"What is this?" My mother sounded timid.

"My answer to your questions back then," I placed my bag over my shoulder, pulling my hair from beneath it. I stood, looking down on my parents. Our roles have changed. I was no longer the scared girl they thought I was. They no longer had that prideful grip on me. "I am aware of your disappointment and of your anger, it's written all over your face. However, as I grow older and become even more refined in my practice, I have realized that your disappointment and your anger means nothing. If you choose to feel those emotions because of my choice to no longer hide who I am, than so be it. Go ahead, hate me and shun me. As you poison yourself with hatred, I'll be achieving what I want from this world," I turned towards the door, but right before I leave I say one more thing, "I do love you both however."

I didn't need to see their expressions to know, I could feel it. I could feel their horror, their confusion and pain. It leaked out of their pores and swelled up into me. Even though they have rejected my being, I could never reject my love for them. They may have not cared for me, may have not loved me, but as their child... their only child, I loved them with everything I had.

~

I rushed into her room after I heard her screaming from down the hallway. Inside was her screaming, crouched in the corner with nurses crowding her. Pushing through the crowd, I crouch beside her and immediately yell at the nurses, "Back away! She needs space!" They shuffled away awkwardly, their faces covered with red and curious eyes. Turning my attention back to her, I use a low soft voice, "Cassidy... Cassidy, what is wrong?" Her chest heaved up and down, up and down. Sweat bleeding down her face. Holding her hands close to her heart, she mumbled incoherent words. Not able to understand him, I ask again, "Cassidy... what is wrong?"

Shaking as if she was caught in a blizzard, she falls upon me. Her nails dig into my shoulders and her whimpers fall out. Pulling her into me, I rubbed her back. Soon she would become limp... her breathing becoming stable. When I noticed she was better, I helped her to her bed and asked the nurses to leave.

Shutting the door behind them, I turned to see her staring out the window, admiring something. Just a while ago she was a mess, screaming and shaking, and now she seems calm and relaxed. Coming closer to her, I sit beside her on the bed and stare at her face. After a couple minutes she turns to me, smiling, "Oh... Antonia! When did you come?"

Gripping my arm tightly, I force a smile onto my face, "I just came in."