The Cheerleader's Side Piece

Stained(6)

"Fuck... you can't tell Prez... no one bring it up," the door shut behind me and their eyes fell upon me. It was the ASB Council and Victoria gathered around in a circle. When Alex and Olivia saw me, their eyes immediately fell to the floor. I silently walked to them, placing my bags down and folders I was getting ready to present to everyone. Closing in on them, I saw how Olivia squirmed... afraid.

"Alex," I said, seeing Olivia give out a sigh of relief. Going over to Alex, she straightens her back and lifts her chin... the first sign it's something bad. "Alex?"

"Yes Ani?" She said, looking me in the eyes.

"What am I not supposed to know?" I asked, watching the conflict in her eyes flash through. Choosing to remain silent, I turn to Olivia who now is fighting her mind. "Olivia?"

"Yes Prez?" She rubs her neck, her eyes falling everywhere but on mine.

"Answer the question," I say. She squirms, looking over at Alex to save her but Alex stays in her spot. It looked as if she was about to cry, so I left her alone to go to Victoria. Victoria was seated on a desk, hands in her pockets and the look of annoyance running across her face. "Victoria, what are they hiding?" Her eyes stayed connected with mine, but she was different. She was trying to decide whether it's better to say or stay quiet. "Telling me is the better option," I said, her chuckling a bit.

She stood up, sighing out, "I think... I think you need to take a seat if I'm going to tell you."

"I'm not a child," I said, feeling my heart waver a bit, "what is it?"

"Sit down Antonia," she insisted, the eyes of the others glued to the floor... even Alex. I slowly take my seat, crossing my legs since I'm wearing a skirt now. Waiting with a heavy heart. She squatted down, intertwining her fingers as she said in a lowered voice, "The Cheer team Co-Captain just came in... she told us some pretty heavy news."

"And what was it?" Deep down I should have guessed... I knew it dealt with her but the load that was about to fall on me... I was not prepared for it.

Glancing back to Alex and Olivia, she sighs again and says, "Cassidy Winters was rushed to the hospital last night." My breathing stopped but Victoria continued, "The rumor running around is... apparently one of the girls from the team stopped by her house and found... well found her hanging."

This loud ringing went through my ears, like I had just woken up from a concussion. The information was floating in my mind, connecting itself together. My heart... I could tell whether it was beating so incredibly fast or if it had stopped all together... but that quietness, the calmness that had rushed over me was washing away.

Washing away quickly.

Grabbing the closest thing to me, I chuck it at the wall having it shatter into a million pieces. I screamed. Just screamed. Throwing things over and over again, my throat became raw but I didn't stop. Tears burned my eyes, my skin.... my everything. Victoria put her arms under my armpits, holding me back, but I continued to thrash around. My screams were loud, high-pitched and crackled. The others in the room watched as I lost all my senses. Kicking, my legs bash into Victoria's be she remains strong. It felt like blood was dripping from my chin as I screamed. My head felt light... as if I was going to collapse any minute. Soon my feet were clasped down, Olivia holding them. Alex tried taking on my arms but I clawed at her.

My heart was bleeding out. It was gushing out onto the floor, creating a puddle just around me. My breathing ceased long ago, my lungs just gave up. I wanted to die. I did die. Nothing in me mattered anymore. I couldn't... no I couldn't keep on. No... no...

"ANI!" Alex slapped my face and I fell limp. No more screaming, no more kicking or thrashing, nothing. Victoria held me tightly but Olivia rose up, fear in her eyes. Alex lifted my lifeless face to see hers and I couldn't recognize her. Her face... it seemed as if someone had killed her mother and father. She was so pale. "A-Ani?"

Victoria shifted her arms, wrapping them around my torso and said, "She'll be fine Antonia... she'll be fine.... I promise."

Tears fell into the carpet, staining it along with my heart. "How fucking dare she.... how could she. Put me through fucking hell, tear me apart, corrupt me... and what does she do? End it?" I rip myself from Victoria, falling to the floor. They shouted but I continued to hit the floor, "I didn't want that you fucking piece of shit! I didn't want you to fucking end it you dumbass! Fucking change! Become the fucking Cassie I knew! I CAN'T FUCKING STAND THIS ANYMORE! I can stand constantly checking my phone, deleting messages and looking over my shoulders constantly! I can't stand watching you fuck whoever and treat them like they're precious but TREAT ME LIKE SHIT! If I'm as fucking precious, as important.... IF I'M FUCKING YOURS THAN SHOW ME! Stop being a fucking dumbass! Stop being a coward and abusive fuckhead! Love me honestly! Love me gently! Love me correctly! Don't treat me as some fucking toy you fucking asshole!" My hands were bleeding, staining the floor as well. At the top of my lungs, I screamed, "I FUCKING HATE HOW I LOVE YOU!"

"Get the fuck out!" Olivia shouted, pushing out the other students and slamming the door behind them. She didn't care that the first bell had rung, none of us did.

"Ani," Alex muttered, tears streaming from her eyes.

But me...

A piece of me, a massive part of my heart had been completely shattered. I could feel myself sinking into the hole in my heart, swallowing me up... chewing me into a billion pieces. Her smiling face, her gorgeous blonde hair and rosy cheeks flashed in my eyes. The way she kissed me when she was gentle, the way she spoke to me when she recited parts to books, the way she laughed at puppies falling over themselves.... The Cassie I saw, the Cassie that had opened my heart and shown me love and my true self played in my mind over and over.

But now... the image I can see is that gorgeous beautiful smile wrapped around a rope... hanging from a ceiling in her house. Gathering up all my strength I scream once more, letting the pain all over my body come flying out as well.

I screamed Cassie.