Chapter 11

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A few weeks pass and I find myself falling back into routine but only with a different mentality and mindset. I can't but feel awkward every time the whole family comes together and it doesn't help knowing that they did not want me back. Like I care.

I push myself to wake up early in the morning before any else does and start working. I work cleaning the house, washing and ironing clothes, cooking and every task there is to do until I feel my back collapse on me. I repeat the cycle day after day until I've mastered the cycle into perfection. I continue pushing myself until I know there is nothing anyone can fault me with knowing that I have exceeded everyone's expectations. I say the right thing at the right time, agree even if I feel like banging my head against the wall and throttling someone. James begins to smile more at me, respect me more and love me more each and everyday. I push all the emotions aside and let myself be tamed, it will be all better in the end.

It all works in my favor when Father gives his approval and tells everyone that I've finally gotten back to my senses. I feel guilt seep in my when he takes my side and encourages me to do more saying I will be the perfect example of what a woman should be like but all the promises and praises seem to fall on a numb heart and nothing sinks in. I came back for a reason and nothing will stop me. Empty promises can be the least of my priorities.

I kneel besides my suitcase as I search for the black note book tucked between my clothes. I grab a pen and settle myself on the bed, opening the first blank page and I write the first name that comes to mind.

We spend the day doing our usual routine and in the evening, I decided to delay cleaning the kitchen hoping to have alone time with Lunette. When everyone is done eating, they all head up to the master bedroom and we are left behind to watch the dishes.

"Remember Sam?" I ask Lunette washing the dishes.

"Sam? Kayla's sister?

"Yeah." I reply not knowing how to ask her, until I decided to just ask.

"Remember that she stirred a lot of trouble before she left. And when she did leave, she involved the cops?"

"Yeah I remember" she says looking everywhere but my face.

"Why would she lie about something like that," I ask pushing her, refusing to stop the conversation even when she remains quiet. "Why would she risk getting in trouble with the police by creating false stories."

"Why would all those other people we've heard about tell the same lie. If they wanted to destroy Father's reputation and his hard work. Why would they all lie about the one they knew they could not prove."

Sam stopped being part of the congregation and left. Few weeks later, she opened a case with the police claiming that her pastor had raped her, from a young age. There was no evidence of course, and it was concluded as a lie by everyone else and we never found out how it ended.

"What if they were not lying Lunette?" I ask refusing not to meet her eyes hoping she honestly tells me what she thinks, knowing at the moment she is my only hope. Living with the Coventrys for years, there must be something she knows.

"Do you think they were?"

The silence stretches and I scold myself for pushing it to far. I was putting her in a tight space, making her doubt the one person we all believed in.

My thoughts are cut of by the heavy sobs that fill the kitchen. Lunette stands by the sink, hands covered with soap and she stands looking the saddest I have ever seen. She lets the tears flow down her face and her sobs grow louder as if her heart breaks with every breath.

I think of what will happen if anyone hears her but my thoughts are erased the moment I rush to embrace her. I hold her wondering how much she has been holding in, how much she has been carrying so maybe I help carry the burden with her.

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