Shantelle sank into deep depression after getting married, and fell into a cycle of suicidal thoughts and the punishment of going to hell was the only thing that stopped her from taking her own life. She visited the confession room as much as she could, wrote messages to Father asking the Lord to help remove the load that was suffocating her to the brink of death, but the unhappiness manifested in her until she finally lost herself in it. She fasted and prayed and yet she turned into the bitter wife her husband had to struggle to keep up with.
It was some time later when she finally opened up with fear that the silence was going kill her and she needed someone to talk, someone to at least save her from herself. Viola sat at work on the other side of the phone call and listened to a sobbing Shantelle for hours. The pain evident in her younger sisters voice, but even she did not know how to help. There was no help for such things. This type of pain, you tuck it at the back of your mind and live with it. Simple as that.
Viola went to Ballington that week and confronted Father accusing him of abusing her younger sister but he remained persistent saying Shantelle was lying.
"You know me Viola, I would never do that," he said sounding too convincing.
"She is lying to you and you have to believe me. I have never lied to you, I have been honest with you." Shuffling forward in his chair, to stare directly at her.
The conversation went in circles and Viola concluded she had lost. As soon as she left, the Reverend, summoned Shantelle to Ballington. He stared at her with cold eyes as she sat opposite him in the confession room, hands folded on his chest. It was at that moment that Shantelle saw how big he was. His tall frame and and bulky weight filling up the whole chair he was occupying. He didn't look so kind and gentle now with the spiteful look that covered his face, replacing the calm smile he always wore.
"Why would you tell her when I clearly told you not to?" The anger evident in his voice.
"What were you thinking. That someone is going to save you? That someone will believe you?" The mocking grin growing wider on his face. He didn't waste time trying to coax her into believing that he was innocent. That was for another day. He had to set the record straight, and let Shantelle pick which path she found more beneficial to her.
"It is your word against mine. And if you are smart. You would have seen that before you went around spreading 'lies.'
"You will go back to Viola and tell her that you were lying. Or you will regret ever telling her about this." He sneered, disgust clear on his face. He was unrecognizable, this wasn't the Father that she knew and grew to love so much. This was another man blankly telling her that she stood no choice against him, and the person who he was before he repented was surfacing behind the mask. The threats were like repeated stabs in the gut, the feeling that he meant everything settling deep within her. The threats weren't just warnings, they were promises.
"No one will believe you or your sister. You will loose your mother, your family, and that marriage you have. You have no qualifications, you did not complete school, you have nothing. You will know what suffering is once the dirty streets become your home."
And just like that, the Reverend was done with the conversation. Walking out his face now adorned by the smile he was known for.
She went to talk to Viola, telling her everything Father had said. After listening for hours, Viola managed to convince Shantelle to forget about it, and promised to help her through it. They had to accept that they stood no chance against him. Safe is better than sorry, and he was their safe.
"Just don't think about it. There is nothing wrong. It's the devil working on you."
And like that, they concluded their conversation. 'A matter of, it's not really that hard, once you realize that, everything will go back to normal and everything will be okay.'
The images haunted Viola and even though she tried to deny it, it was eating her alive too. Shantelle words about how Father sneaked up to her room late at night, when she was in Ballington claiming it was for confession. It was a relief that he did nothing that night but, that wasn't the case after her found a way of introducing the topic of sex to Shantelle, saying he was helping her get used to the idea of marriage. She lost her virginity to him, and he didn't stop using her even when she had a husband. "Don't tell anyone" he said, "you have to trust me. I know what is best for you." And Shantelle foolishly fell for it, just like her sister did.
Guilt built up in Viola but there were no words she could say to make things better for her sister. Even she was a victim, and somewhere along the lines, she managed to convince herself that it was the right thing to do, the right thing expected from her. But the problem with something that is wrong, that feels wrong, is that it haunts you all your life and eats away at your peace. It demands to be heard, felt and no matter how much you try to ignore it, it blasts through your head like a trumpet.
Years ago when Viola left Ballington. Father offered to take her home. He stopped the car, in a deserted highway, demanded that she let him help her, to trust in him until she finally gave in. He took her to the back of the truck and finally got what he was trying to convince her to give him for months. It went on and on, when she went to Ballington , he continued to summon her to the confession room to 'help' her and it continued even when she got married. 'He is helping me' she told herself even when her conscious was telling her otherwise.
The two sisters continued to keep their secrets, not telling anyone, and comforting each other with meaningless lies. The fact that they had each other making things better. They continued pretending nothing was wrong but things only got worse for the both of them. Shantelle spent most Sundays discussing something that she was accused of doing wrong. People whispered behind her back and circulated false rumors. They banned anyone from helping her in any way, even picking her up when they found her walking on her way to church. Her marriage was falling apart and the only person who refused to leave her side was Gigi. She stayed even when she too ended up being caught in the cross-fire. Their lives became hell, as if someone was punishing her for something.
Years passed and when she was finally getting used to it, the comfort she received from Gigi being enough to push her through, Gigi vanished. Leaving not a single goodbye note. She packed her things and left her husband, and left so may people confused and with unanswered questions. Shantelle called her days upon days, but her calls went unanswered and it was clearly that Gigi did not want to be found, and she was definitely not coming back.
The months after were hard. Rumors circulating about how Gigi went sleeping around with every man who spared her a glance. She tried killing her husband they said, she cheated on him, she was evil, the devil in disguise, but the one that stuck to her, the one everyone swept under the rug and proclaimed it was the work of the devil was how Gigi had opened a rape case for Father as soon as she left. And it dawned on her, the one reason that caused Gigi to vanish without a trace was the same reason that almost sent her packing and disappearing towards the unknown just a few years ago.
YOU ARE READING
Unmask
Non-Fiction"You trust me, don't you?" he says with a smile, that smile. It had fooled everyone, even me at some point, and for the first time I want to scream with rage and shake the earth to the core. "Give me a hug," he says pulling me out of the chair that...
