Unmask

Chapter 7

It was after two weeks of misery when a family meeting between the Coventrys and my family was called. Father wrote messages to my mother, Viola and Shantelle and told them to come on the following Saturday to find solutions to problems that were destroying my marriage with James.

James had found out that I was looking through university scholarships and had created a huge scene. I had found him searching through my phone and the moment he found the emails I knew I was in trouble. He shouted at me and it had ended with him calling my mother and telling her that I was nothing but a nuisance. I scolded myself repeatedly for not making sure everything was hidden as I stood in front of him my body trembling with fear.

"What is this?" he asked turning the phone screen to me.

"You are looking for a school?" he asked again when I did not answer him, as I stood scared, hardly breathing at all.

"I was j...just browsing through, nothing serious, I swear." I said almost in a pleading voice.

"You want to go to university?"

"Yes I would like to someday. It has always been my dream."

"You cannot do anything right and all you are thinking about is something petty like going to university." he says still scrolling through my phone and reading through my messages.

I fight the urge to grab the phone and tell him to mind his own business and I continue to remain frozen in the same spot, wishing that the ground could open up and swallow me.

"Doesn't the Bible talk about focusing on what is demanded of us and letting the Lord take care of our needs. But here you are,lacking in the ways of the Lord and yet you want to go to university. To do what?! To be the heathen that you are?! To continue with your shameful sins?!"

"Answer me!" He says throwing the phone angrily on the bed.

"I am sick and tired of you Lilith! How many times do I have to talk to you. Why are you so difficult. You think you are smart, but let me tell you that going to university will not help you. You are dumb and you will never, ever be successful without me! And I'm calling you mother so I can tell her about this nuisance that you are." He turns around in circles, his hands balled into fists.

I rush to stand in front of him panicking and my stomach turning icy. I know I cannot risk him telling my mother because it will not end well.

"Please don't tell her. Please, please, please," I say fear clinging on every word. He roughly removes my hands on him and grabs the phone on the bed.

"I am sorry, please don't tell her. Please forgive me."

My cries are stopped the moment he roughly pushes me away and I loose balance, hitting the wardrobe and then I fall awkwardly on the bed. He walks towards me and I shuffle backwards and close my eyes in anticipation for a hit. I hear the door open and close, the noise echoing around the house, and then I am left with the feeling of dread tearing and barreling through the pits of my stomach.

We sat outside in the barbecue house and talked for hours and I already knew that my marriage was never going to work. I had hated the concept of marriage but James made sure to crush any hope I had left of it. It was as if he was punishing the silly girl in me who should have run as soon as she found out that she was to be trapped in a marriage, but foolishly chose to stay.

It was during the two weeks when suddenly everyone turned against me, faulting me in everything I was doing. There was not a day that someone had nothing to complain about, and James turned more hostile than ever. It was as if I had turned into this evil person overnight who was getting out of control. James said it repeatedly that I was nothing but trouble, useless, worthless and shame. And it was those words that continued ringing in my mind non stop, during the day, at night and even now.