give her love » james potter

31

"You should apply to some schools out of the continent," Professor Thornberry mumbles. She's going through applications for healer programs and handing me ones that suit me. "North American Healer programs are a bit longer and American ones are quite competitive usually but, it can be a nice experience to restart your life."

I pick out a few sheets with cities I somewhat recognize. Seattle. Dallas. Boston. Vancouver. Ottawa. Montreal.

Then some unfamiliar places too.

We both agreed that since my marks aren't the most impressive, we'd apply everywhere and hope to get a few acceptances. Poppy also said she'd write a letter or two to help me out which definitely will. Alongside some volunteer work and studying hard for the NEWTS with the goal of all E's or O's, it's all gonna be very possible.

"Language barriers," I ask, as she hands me other forms.

She shrugs. "There's spells and lots of help when you get there. People have done it before and if you can adjust to magic you can adjust to another new culture."

I nod, then pick up more foreign countries. New Dehli. Hong Kong. Ethiopia. Istanbul.

Does the thought of moving far away scare me? Of course it does. But the fear of almost wasting m life away not ever really living scares me even more. I'd spent most of this year avoiding the future, but now, I felt a bit more ready to start planning it all out.

A city I'm unfamiliar with in Canada, has really gone full out with their brochure and application. I play around with it and a band-aid with the hospital name falls out every time I shake it. "This is cool," I say, tucking the band-aids inside it again.

She smiles.

We're both more relaxed than our usual meetings. My new sense of direction has made her quiete happy and she's not shooing me away after a few minutes like usual.

"Do you know what your friends want to do?"

"Well," I start, thinking to all the conversations of the future February has brought up. "Rachel wants to be a healer, you know that. Siobhan's interested in getting into music, she doesn't really know how. But she just knows she wants to work in the music industry." I lean back into my chair, staring up at the ceiling that plants hanging from it. "Raj is getting scouted for quidditch. And, uhm, James wants to be an auror," I pause, then shrug awkwardly. "Don't have much friends."

Professor Thornberry shakes her head. "Quality, Angelina. When it comes to the people you have in your life, it's always quality over quantity." She opens her drawer and hands me one last thing, a sucker. "I've found that the loneliest people are the ones with the most friends."

She's right.

Before this year, I had friends. I had so many friends. But, they weren't really adding much into my life. All of them were good people, I'd never say a bad thing about them. But, just because someone is a good person doesn't mean they're necessarily good in your life. The people I used to surround myself around made me feel like I had to be someone different to really belong. Which made me unhappy because when you're not yourself, you can't really form connections. No connections means no real friends, so loneliness even though you technically had dozens of friends.

(I think we all put up with things like that though because humans have a desire to belong. We convince ourself one day it'll just click with all these people when it reality, we're almost wasting our time. But, is it worse to be alone with all these people or alone with yourself?)

Throughout the years the only people that I really felt myself with were, Rachel, Harv, Siobhan, and James.

I think that's why I like spending time with all of them because I liked the person I was with around them. They made me feel like I wasn't boring or annoying or just hard to love when they saw the real Angelina.