Far from the surface

Part title

"Soon all your sad days will be but a faded memory, an old scar from the past. Soon you'll find purpose, not just in the sun but also in the rain. Soon your mind won't be bonded with worrisome thoughts. But it'll be a vessel for your heart. Soon you'll realize that whatever your mind thinks, your heart feels. You'll soon come to terms with the fact that. Your mind is somewhat required to be the most logical part of you. Whereas your heart is merely subjected to allow you to feel the weight. Of whatever logical or factual thought that the mind as conveyed. So never burden your mind with the things you can't control. But rather, bring joy to your heart by the things you can. And know this, no matter how bad it may seem. Only salvation lasts forever."
- Briana Nia Walker.

It's almost surreal how crazy this life can really be yesterday. My only worries were avoiding my obnoxious foster sister and finding out where I was going to get my next fix. Now I was starring death right in the eyes, surrounded by nothing but darkness and the harsh cold. "Was this really it for me?" "Was I not deserving of a second chance?" "Will I never be able to right my wrongs?" I was completely stiff unable to lift a mere finger, the sounds around me were faint but I still heard them. 'That's good.' I mentally chirped there's no way I'd be able to hear if I was dead, right? I could also feel my pores now leaking which meant I was no longer cold. It's almost as if I'm suddenly back from the dead but I knew that was impossible right?

I sighed deeply before slowly peeling my eyes open and regretting it the very second. There was a hard wave of pain that hit my body almost instantly. I groaned loudly while squinting my eyes to adjust to the bright lights. "Hello Jade, I'm Thierry your doctor." A woman in a white lab coat said. I was so consumed by my pain that I hadn't gotten a chance to acknowledge her.

I slowly landed my eyes on the woman as I examined her features. Her chestnut brown eyes gave a friendly gleam and her bright orange hair complimented her small button nose. As well as her almond shaped eyes. She stood about 5'6 with a clipboard in her hand and a small warming smile plastered across her face. "Thierry, when can I leave this hell hole?" I asked bluntly before coughing loudly. Thierry chuckled softly before making her way from the corner of the room to my bedside. "Here." She said softly before extending her arm with a glass of water. I hesitantly grabbed the cup from her hand and gulped the water down. Never in my life I would've thought that water would taste so good to me. "May I have some more please?" I asked shoving the glass back into her hands. She nodded slightly before pouring me another glass of water that I gulped down the second I got it. "You're seemingly well adjusted for someone who just woke up from a one month coma." Thierry said while looking at me before checking my vitals.

I'm pretty sure my eyes were hanging from their sockets at her statement.

'One month coma.'

there was no way.

"E - excuse me?"

I managed to choke out as I looked at her weirdly. Thierry's friendly eyes and smile quickly vanished as she gave me a sympathetic look. "You came in here a month ago you had instant surgery but you're body was unresponsive. Due to the excessive drugs inside you so you slipped into a coma." Thierry said. She was practically counting the words as if to provide me some kind of understanding seeing that I just learnt that I was asleep for a whole month. I guess I was drowning in my thoughts like I always am because Thierry touched my hand softly trying to get my attention. "You're lucky to be alive Jade despite having being in a co-" Thierry started before I rudely interrupted her. "Did I have any visitors?" I asked already knowing the answer.

I was placed into the system 5 years ago after my grams died. I've never known my parents. My mom, She died while giving birth to me and my dad well. I've never really met the guy I grew up with my grandmother, Maggie in a small town in Ohio and we had a fairly good life.

We went to church every Sunday, we'd feed the homeless occasionally and we took care of each other. Until I came home one night and saw her on the floor not breathing I lost everything that night. My innocence, my peace, my sanity and my happiness. I was placed in a foster home, Katie's home. As if losing my grams wasn't enough, I was beaten and raped every night since then. Katie has always hated me because she saw me as a "threat." Me! the girl who occasionally gets kicked down the stairs. The girl who gets raped every night, the girl whose not allowed to sit and eat with the rest of the family. Their cruelty made me into the person I am today. I remember the first time I got high it was just so my body would be numb to the pain. At first it was a theory, but the minute I realized it actually worked! The second I thought that I could somewhat 'save myself.' I went with it, I thought, I really thought that I was only doing it so the pain won't be as severe. But I was wrong, I was burying myself into an even deeper hole and not knowing it. Soon after the cocaine, it was heroin, alcohol and weed came shortly after. I soon discovered that I could not thrive inside their home without either one of those fix.

After Morty and Annie left for their anniversary get away. I really started to feel like my life was somewhat normal again. But I still needed to stay high and that's when I met the blue eyed devil. Liam Andrews, at a frat party most people get to know someone before they jump their bones. But I wasn't 'most people.' Unfortunately I found out that he was Katie's boyfriend a week after us hooking up every chance we got. I felt so dumb like how could I not have known but with Annie and Morty out the house I was hardly ever home. In fact, the only times I've ever seen Katie were the few times that I showed up on campus. I'm usually always at the cafe working or somewhere hooking up with Liam. Finding out that he was with Katie changed nothing. In fact, I craved him even more after I found out he was my sister's boyfriend.

After all, you know what they say; you haven't truly lived if you've never experienced forbidden love.