Being Me

Chapter Nine

(Tw: mention of puking)

The next few days seem to pass by painfully slowly, I get taken to counseling every other day where I get worn down by Mr Davis, then I get driven back home and thrown in my room for the rest of the day until dinner time -unless of course Otis decides he wants to play with me-.
They cut my hair, it's buzzed now and I hate it.
Around the third day I was beginning to regret breaking my phone, not that I'd be able to use it anyway, but without it I can't message or phone Dante.
But now I think I'm begining to be "healed" or "fixed" mum seems happier and Dad is slowly spending a bit more time near me, not yet close enough for me to touch him, even if my arms was five meters long, but it's something, right?

I haven't been able to stop puking.
I keep thinking it's stopped when I eat a lot, then I end up throwing up into the toilet later on. So far, I don't think mum or dad suspect anything, but Otis, I think he hears me, there's been something different in his eyes when I've noticed him watching me eat recently. His small, kiddy brain can't understand much of why I'm doing this, Fuck I don't know why I'm doing this!
I don't want to explain to him because I don't know how, and I don't want him to know, he's to young, and unlike mum and dad, I prefer to not put pressure on him to understand everything.

I'm sat in my room, reading some boring magazine when the door opens. I look up to see mum stood in front of me, a grumpy look on her face as she holds her phone out, "Dante wants to chat with you." She states, thrusting her phone into my lap and giving me a meaningful look before swiftly exiting my room.

Slowly, I snatch up the phone and put it to my ear, frown when I can't hear Dante, then pull it away and click a button to switch it off hold.

"Séan?" Dante's voice sounds slightly tinny, I lower down the volume before lifting the phone up to my ear, "Séan? You there?" Dante asks, confusion evident in his tone.

"I'm here." I reply, knowing I must sound equally confused.

"Oh good," Dante sighs, "I was worried about you Séan, you weren't answering my texts."

I am laugh at that, I don't know why but I seem to find it funny.
"Yeah, about that., I kinda broke my phone." I admit shamefully, I know how much it cost, sure not as much as some phones but Eight hundred is still a lot of money.

"You broke your phone?! How?" Dante exclaims.

"I threw it down the stairs." I mumble in response, the phone mic barely able to pic my voice up.

"You what? How are you still alive?" Dante exclaims in surprise.

"I don't know Dante, don't ask me." I sigh.

"Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that you took what I said seriously when I was over." Dante said after a long pause of silence between us.

"Yeah, I did, don't worry." I mumble in response. We're both silent for several minutes before I make my mind up,"Hey Dante, Can I come over for a few days?"

"Y-yeah, of course." Dante stammers, seemingly taken aback, "When will you be getting here?"

Im moving around my room now, pulling out my abandoned school bag and packing it with clothes, " I'm packing now, I think I'll be at the train station in an hour, so maybe three hours." I reply, practically buzzing with the excitement that I'll be out of here soon, even if it is only for a few days.

"Alright, call me when you arrive and I'll call a taxi or something to pick you up." Dante replies.

"Alright, see you then. Bye" I say and hang up the phone, putting it down on my desk as I continue to shove clothes into my bag.

Twenty minutes later, I hear mum approaching my door, quickly I shove my packed bag out of sight, under my bed, sitting down on the mattress just as she enters. Ignoring me, she snatches her phone up and stalks out.

Another twenty minutes later,I am out of the house,in a Taxi, approaching the train station. I have just enough money left for a train ticket and a small snack from a vending machine at the station,the last couple quid will have to be for the payphone when I get off the train.

The taxi ride is a boring one, neither me or the driver bothering to start a conversation, when we stop at the train station, I hand him the money before scrambling out with my bag and hurrying inside the building where I pay for my ticket before walking out onto the platform, I'm doing this, I'm actually doing this.

I sit near a family on the train, the mother,a dark haired lady with tanned skin and green eyes, brings me into the conversation as soon as she notices I'm alone.
"I'm Fabienne," she says in a thick french accent, then points to each one of her children in turn, "This is Danique,my eldest daughter," a red haired girl with green olive eyes, "Elodie, my youngest daughter," a copy and paste of the mother, "Aubin, my uh, how do you say? Child?" A kid around my age with red hair and green eyes, "they're the second oldest," Fabienne explains before gesturing at the red haired man beside her who, judging from his hair,is the father of the kids, "And this is my husband, Mathis."
I smile at her, it's nice to meet people who are friendly for a change.

I think for a couple seconds, maybe I should lie about my name? "I'm Séan." I say simply, deciding to not make this confusing.

"Lovely to meet you Séan," Fabienne smiled, "Where are you off to?".

"I'm going to see my brother, he lives rather far away so I don't get to see him often." I admit with a smile of my own.

Fabienne nods, "we just spent the day out at the museum, we're just heading back home ourselves now."

"You had fun?"

"Oh yes, the museum was very lovely."

"It is,yeah."

"Have you ever been?"

"Once,when I was three."

Fabienne nods and smiles,she seems to do a lot of smiling, obviously she's a happy person.

The train hisses to a stop and Fabienne smiles apologetically as she stands up and leads her family out.

The last stretch of the train journey is boring, and as soon as it stops at my destination, I jump to my feet, sprinting out onto the platform, out of the stuffy train.
It isn't hard to find a payphone and as soon as I do, I tap Dante's number in, knowing only have enough money for a two minute call.

(A/n: Happy New year ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡)
[12/10/22]