Miss, Do I Know You?

21 - Friday, December 25

Perched on the edge of the street on the outskirts of town, I sat, clutching an empty bottle. I felt completely lost, incapable of taking another step. My foot throbbed with a numbing ache while my legs struggled beneath me, burdened with heaviness. The bite of the cold gnawed at my senses. Every thought that graced my mind wore the face of anxiety, perpetuating a haunting unease.

Casting my gaze behind me, I beheld the building to which my aimless steps had carried me, the only place I could go. A faint glimmer emanated from her window, hinting at either a night resigned to insomnia or an unfinished evening. I didn't even know what time it was.

Guilt feasted upon my being, an insatiable predator. For the second time, the day of departure was marked by an unwelcome return, mocking my desperate pursuit of escape. The cosmic jest of the universe was an overture I refused to dance to, but alternatives were conspicuously absent.

Limping down the hallway of the apartment complex, a wave of anxiety surged with each footfall. My heart waged a riot within the cage of my ribs. An icy stillness claimed my fingertips, resistant to any promise of warmth or comfort. My lips quivered, poised with a smile fragile as glass.

Once the door yielded to my fervent knocking, I slipped inside, the resounding thud echoing like a gunshot in my ears. The bags abandoned my grasp while I pressed my forehead against the polished wood. My vision blurred as unshed tears clung like fragile dewdrops upon my lashes.

But I steeled myself against the tide of despair once more, resolute not to shatter under Alex's gaze. Until a gentle voice spoke my name. And it was not hers.

An undulating tide of queasiness surged within my chest, underlining the gravity of my mistake. I had solemnly vowed to shield Benji from the depths of my existence, those vices that gripped me, and the shadows of negativity that haunted my every thought. Foolishly, I had entangled him in my web. Him—such a sweet, innocent soul. I could not bear the thought of sullying his bright-eyed view of the world.

With a valiant effort, I tried to mold a smile upon my lips, though it felt as arduous as sculpting moonbeams. My eyes wandered across the room, settling on the coffee table with the puzzle that I had interrupted.

Alex's stare penetrated the depths of my being, piercing through me and freezing my soul. Her eyes were empty, void of any emotional echo, her fingers fidgeting. Righteous anger had found its roost within her.

But a subtle shift occurred as her attention turned to her son, her expression softening into a gentle smile. "Can you go to your room for a bit, sweetheart? I need to have a talk with Kayla."

Confusion etched upon Benji's face, yet he obeyed her request, his small frame shuffling away under the guidance of Alex's touch upon his shoulder. But the moment the door closed shut, her smile faded, and the atmosphere enveloping our presence grew dense.

"What the fuck did you do?" she asked, her voice low yet resounding.

Silent and paralyzed, I found my throat constricting, denying passage to even a single utterance. A strange sensation settled in my stomach, a hammering in my skull, and a tautness everywhere else, as if my insides were being pulled together. Heavy eyelids battled against the impending surrender while a throbbing ache resonated through my foot. It felt like I was in a phantasmagoric nightmare from which there seemed no escape.

"You leave for one fucking day and come back drunk? While Benji is still awake?" Her words sliced through the charged atmosphere, each syllable dripping with resentment. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Invoking the veil of darkness with closed eyes, I sought sanctuary, yearning to erase the stark reality that unfolded mercilessly before me. Facing her seemed an insurmountable task, for I was burdened with a profound shame, an overwhelming awareness of failure for the path I had so haphazardly tread.