Miss, Do I Know You?

25 - Friday, January 22

Amidst the shifting currents of my life, one truth emerged with clarity—there was more going on between Alex and me than mere friendship, leaving me beguiled and lost in its riddles. I was in the dark about the dynamics that colored our interactions.

Though I had been living at Sophia's for a week by then, whenever she was at work, I found myself gravitating to the apartment I had grown very fond of. I hung out with Benji daily and extended our outings into the late-night hours with Alex. Sometimes, we would simply enjoy each other's company in serene silence where nothing was expected of me—her engrossed in her work, books, or painting while I whiled away the hours playing the guitar or tackling homework. And even as we parted and headed to our own beds, we texted away until sleep inevitably began to enshroud us.

Whenever fate allowed us to be alone, there was no denying that a strange tension hung in the air, palpable and unspoken, a reminder of the kiss that had almost happened and the things Gabi had shared with me. We seemed to dance around each other, our bodies close enough to feel each other's warmth but never close enough to break the invisible barrier between us.

Perhaps going back to school was also at fault, bringing with it a heavy reminder of our strange circumstances that had been kept at bay throughout the last month. Each day served as a poignant reminder that she wasn't just a friend but also my teacher. This realization had escaped my mind but was now back in the forefront, and it seemed to be the same for Alex. It was strange to see her there, to witness the radical shift that seized her personality within those walls.

As I sauntered toward her classroom that day, a subtle shadow of concern cast upon my heart. The departing class usually bid farewell with radiant smiles, but this time, muted whispers lingered amidst their retreat. I brushed off the odd change, but as I rounded the corner, something seemed off about Alex right away.

She was usually composed, her posture rigid and her eyes focused on her papers. But today, her head rested on her hand, her body curled up with one leg tucked against her chest. She was absentmindedly chewing on a pen and staring at her laptop, the screen's light flickering against her face as she slowly rotated back and forth in her chair.

Even when class commenced, minutes ticked away with her remaining in the same position. An initial flurry of conversations had taken advantage of her distraction, but over time, the chatter died away. As if aware of something amiss, the students brought the room to an expectant hush.

Alex stirred, her eyes flicking around the room as if remembering where she was. Standing up, her movements were tense and her posture rigidly upright, her gaze meeting mine briefly before she hurriedly looked away and cleared her throat.

"Sorry," she began, her voice flat. "So, um, let's get started with the new topic, which is, uh..." Her words trailed off, her brow furrowing in concentration. "Yeah, I actually have no clue."

A ripple of laughter spread through the class, but her countenance was untouched by amusement. Her nimble fingers danced with feverish urgency, leafing through the papers on her desk. An anxious look clouded her, as if some invisible burden weighed on her mind, revealed by the nibbling of her bottom lip or her jittering leg that ignited a renewed worry within me.

Though we were assigned some simple exercises for the class, my focus remained solely on her and how she fidgeted with her pen, biting the tip as she absentmindedly twirled it around her fingers. But her gaze remained anchored to her desk, compelling me to reluctantly avert my attention and redirect it to my own work.

"Fuck," a whisper abruptly escaped from in front of me, accompanied by the clatter of a fallen pen that caused all heads to snap up.

At first, Alex seemed oblivious that she had said it out loud. She plucked the pen from the floor, but when her eyes lifted to meet the many stares, realization dawned on her face.