Never I Thought

Chapter 23 - My Perfect Confession

I hadn't been back here in a good minute.

I was walking back and forth, back and forth beside my private bench behind the library. Since I started spending my free periods with Kei I had no time or reason to come back here.

Ten minutes ago I was supposed to meet Kei, but I wasn't ready. How could I be ready? I had finally concluded that my feelings for him were real. That I was pretty much ready to confess my love and I didn't even know if he liked me back.

These feelings had been kept private. I had locked them down in fear that Mabel would find out and now they were going to burst if I kept it in any longer.

My phone buzzed. It was Kei. Asking where I was and if I was okay.

What a gentleman.

I lightly slapped my face, "get it together," I whispered.

With that, I took one more look around my spot. The green trees had turned brown and leaves covered the floor. But my bench was still in perfect condition and I decided to take that as a sign that it would all be alright.

"Hey, where did you go? I was worried my study buddy wouldn't show," he grinned as I approached the table.

I had no witty response to exchange, my mind was fuzzy and my heart was racing. Was this what it was like to confess love? To feel like I was dying?

When I didn't say anything, his face sobered and he stood up.

"Are you alright?"

His tone was tight as if he could feel exactly what I could, an empathetic touch that I hadn't felt with anyone. Though I wanted to lift his concerns I found it quite comforting that he cared so much.

"No, I'm not," I huffed, "I really, really like you. Like, really like you. And I don't want to be friends anymore, I want to be more than that and I'm not sure if you feel the same. And if you don't then I probably just ruined everything... why are you smiling?"

It was like he was trying to suppress it but failing miserably. Maybe he was about to burst out laughing. Say that I must be pranking him because we were friends and that's it.

I should run away.

I should move schools.

"Hey," he reached out and touched my cheek. It broke me out of my trance and I watched him intensely unable to read his next move.

"What?" My voice broke.

"I can't believe you beat me to it," his smile returned, "I've been trying to find a way to tell you and it's like you read my mind."

I breathed out slowly, my relief washing out my fuzzy brain, "well, you can still confess. I'll pretend to be shocked."

Kei chuckled, "no way, your confession was perfect enough."

A laugh escaped my mouth and I pulled him in to hug him. A simple gesture I'd been wanting to do for so long but afraid it would mean everything I had been holding off to tell him.

Now, I was so annoyed I hadn't confessed sooner. This was perfect. Kei was perfect. Sweet, gentle, kind and he could read my face and gestures so easily. The good outweighed the bad, the pros and cons had toppled over.

The only con was telling Mabel. My crazy best friend who scared Marigold despite how short she was. Mabel did have a reputation of having a short temper and most people were threatened by her.

For now, though, I pushed that thought away, and I settled deeper in Kei's arms and enjoyed the touch I had craved for so long. I wanted to be here forever and never let go.