🍁Hasi🍁

🍁Chapter:27🍁

🍁Chapter:27🍁

Aryan's PoV 

I do not understand the basis of my fear. Where did it come from? This insecurity? How deep-rooted was it that I never recognized it before Isha entered my life?

My hands shook with the mental strain I was putting my body through. 

'Good. You deserve every inch of agony.'

I tried hard to look within, I looked back at the man my family has admired, I could not recognize him any longer.  What has become of me? When did I become such a coward? 

Maybe it was always there. Maybe all I ever did was ignore my deeply damaged conscience, all I had ever done was run away from the pain and now it has come back to haunt me. Now, my pain has come to take me. I have drowned my marriage, how do I expect her to trust me if I cannot trust myself?

Sagar's face in front of me distorted into something disgusting. In front of me was not my dear brother, but,... myself. I heaved the shallow breath that I had the chance to catch in between. 

I took my eyes away from him lest my mind carried on with its sickening games. 

Closing my eyes I willed myself to forget what made my tiny children. I willed myself to forget what drove me to plunge my wife's trust down the drain. I willed myself to forget my cruelty. But, I could not. I could not conjure up an image where I could pretend to be happy with those kids.

Just as I slowly forced my mind to accept it, those words made my world shatter.

"Bhai, Bhabhi toot jayengi."

"Virat, Isha toot jayegi..."

Suddenly I was transported back to the day I married her. 

How that day I had deemed Virat was unworthy of her. The words remained the same yet the man addressed in them was different. Once spoken for Virat, these words were now spoken for me.

I was no better than the man I wanted to 'protect' her from. I was as good as the man that made me scowl regarding her. 

That day when I married her...

"I swear it on my life...I will always keep your daughter safe."

No, I didn't. I did not keep her safe. Those tears that I had been forced to hide had suddenly plunged my eyes...they dripped down my cheeks freely and I made no moves to hide them.

I once considered Virat unworthy of her. 

Whatever I spoke next was spoken in a jiffy. I needed Sagar off my back. No more guilt, no more. I can't drown in this. I do not want to...my sorrow will--

I gulped, hating the way my mind seemed to function now. 

My sorrow will only alert Isha that something was wrong. 

What good was my guilt now? It would only break a perfect marriage. The truth would only bring resentment unto the kids she now adored. My sin cannot taint the love Isha has for her kids. It needs to be buried, somewhere deep. I will drag it down so deep not even myself would be able to find it. I made a mistake by telling Sagar, had I kept it to myself this would have been easier to hide.

'You are so selfish!' mocked my mind.

'I KNOW!'

"Bhai, tell her before she finds out," Sagar begged me, again. But absentmindedly my head shook. "I cannot do that, Sagar." I heard him hiss in anger before I felt his hand on my color.

"Stop being a coward!!" I shrugged him off, this time retaliating against his sentiments. 

"And do what?! Tell her I fucked those kids in her?! Put yourself in my shoes! What would have you done?" I harshly pushed him back and turned my attention back towards the balcony. I contemplated jumping off...would death be easier to handle than the reality of my situation? Would it come easily or would I suffer?

"I would never put Maya through that. Unlike you, I am not self-centered. When you love, Bhai--" How he called me was so unfamiliar, it felt like my name on his tongue disgusted him so much it was spat out like it was something poisonous. I closed my eyes. My one action has taken so much from me.

"There is no fear. What you feel for Bhabhi isn't love. It's an obsession."

"You obsess over the fact she will leave you. You obsess over the possibility of what might have never happened. You obsess about being the perfect husband, and guess what? This obsession is what led to your downfall!"

I shook my head, "I am not obsessed, Sagar!" his face twisted in a smirk. "Really? then go tell her." I gripped the railing harder, pretty sure murder was written in bold on my face. I never thought I would act this way with my blood. With Sagar.

"I will not destroy everything like this-"

"I knew it-"

"Stop it!"

"You are obsessed. Admit it."

"No! I love he-"

"You can never hurt someone you love." These words were spoken very softly. I gulped at the change in his tone. It...It felt like he wanted to drill it in my head...drill in me the possibility of my love being an obsession. I refuse to believe it. No. Obsession is not the word to describe my feelings. I-I have never obsessed over Isha. This word made me zoom through each memory I had with her, each moment I spent beside her. I kept trying to see...was anything I did, ever, count as an obsession...

I heard him sigh, "If you don't tell her. I will." I scoffed and opened my mouth to reply.

"You-"

My heart dropped. Suddenly everything I had to say vanished into thin air. It disappeared, each ounce of my confidence. If someone had told me to prove the Earth was flat, it would still be easier to accomplish than what I knew would be the hardest conversation of my life.

Sagar's grip on my shoulder made me realise how silent everything had gotten. The small crickets around us were the only beings making any noise in the dead of this night.

My own two feet suddenly felt incapable of handling my weight... I felt incapable of thinking about anything other than the fact that what stood in front of me now was perhaps my nightmare coming true.

The wind ruffled her soft hair, those same hair I loved racking my fingers through every morning. So when Sagar turned to face what had made me so pale so suddenly...he too came to a stop, stuttering.

He had mentioned how he would tell her if I didn't.

It did not seem that way now that she stood before us. Perhaps he understood why I wanted to hide it from her, why my desperation to bury the truth was eating at me day and night, because, when I looked at her...

Her eyes were as empty as the day I took her hand in marriage.

There was nothing there. No emotions. No questions. No attachment.

She was numb.

And I was the reason for it.

I recognised that look in her eyes because I had seen it. Many times, perhaps too many to count.

That look she carried when she felt the world had collapsed around her and she was stuck under a debris so huge it was impossible to start breathing again.
That same look when everything she had believed in had been snatched in an instant.
The look of regret for trusting again.

The look of betrayal.

But instead of Virat, her father or her best friend...

It was her husband.

It was me.

🍁【End Of Book I】🍁

Sorry for being so late 😭

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