CHAPTER 16 - Love is tough

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Hemanth's eyes widened "H-how did you--? Am I obvious?"

When Karthik nodded, he continued "I don't even remember when I fell for her"

Karthik wanted to ask if the feeling's mutual but he didn't dare to; not sure of what he wanted to hear.

"Don't worry, she never saw me that way" Hemanth answered as if he understood his inner struggle.

"Did she know? um that you loved her?"

Hemanth chuckled humorlessly "I never told her. But, she knew"

"What happened then?"

"I understood she didn't see me that way. So, I never made a move"

"Really? Is that why you left her? I mean, why you left to US?"

He nodded "Yeah. One day, she gushed to me about how much she loved another guy and--- it devastated me. That's when I decided to leave the country"

"She loved another guy?" Karthik voiced his surprise.

"No. I think she only told that to make me realize, my dream of 'trying to win her one day' is going to be fruitless"

"Wow. She is---"

"Yeah. The perfect friend one can ever get. She didn't want me to waste my life thinking about her. She knew I would be hurt but still, didn't want to lead me on"

"You think she did the right thing?" Karthik asked slowly. He can't imagine the pain that Hemanth had to go through.

"If she never wanted me to be anything apart from her friend, then yes. It's useless trying to be her everything when she only wanted me to be her best friend" he said dejectedly.

"What did she say about your decision to leave?" Karthik asked frowning.

"She never said a thing but I saw the hurt in her eyes. I think she too knew I can only get over her if I stayed away"

"You know what surprises me?" Karthik started in a thoughtful tone "The two of you not talking aloud about your feelings. May be, there would've been a different outcome if you did"

Hemanth shook his head "I never said she never tried to love me. She might have tried to see me the way I saw her and she might not be successful. It must be as tough for her to try that as it is to me to stop loving her"

"How can you be so sure?"

"I know her as much as I know me and the same thing goes for her too. We don't need the other person to verbally tell their feelings"

"So.. Umm, you still love her?" Karthik asked doubtfully.

"It's easy to fall in love, but to stop loving is very tough" He replied sadly "All my life, my only vocation was to see her happy which I succeeded too for some time. I never let her through anything alone, never let her cry, never let her get hurt and never made her feel left out"

I made her go through all of that pain, I am such an idiot, Karthik thought bitterly. He really wished he was as good as Hemanth.

"So.. You said you never let her cry. Does that mean.. um, she never cried?" Karthik questioned, narrowing his eyes at him.

"You mean apart from the crying sessions of watching films?" When Karthik chuckled, he continued "No, she never cried. In fact, she never had a reason to. Her dad would do anything for her; I've never seen him angry at her even if she did the most stupidest thing. And I was there too, all her life to protect her from any trouble"

"Like a prince?" Karthik added, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"Nah. Since she thought of me as a brother, I can't say that" he added jokingly.

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