Chapter 14 - Reconciliation

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[Max Pov]

Her bottom lip quivered, and I stepped inside, pulling her into a tight hug.

She sobbed, her voice choked, "Why did you try to get rid of me?"

My heart clenched at her words. "What?" I whispered, stunned.

I could feel Lex shivering in my arms. "I heard your dad talking to Horner... He said I brought unrest to the team and that you admitted-..." She couldn't finish her sentence, her voice broke, lost in tears.

"Oh no... Lex," I murmured, my mind racing... trying to comprehend what she meant. "The only thing I admitted was that I trained you."

"What?" Her eyes widened in confusion.

"Yeah... I didn't mean to... it just slipped out as I defended your driving style," I explained, the truth spilling out in a rush. "I never wanted you out of the team."

Lex's tears continued to flow but now they seemed to mingle with disbelief. "You defended me?"

"Of course," I affirmed, feeling a weight lift off my chest.

Lex looked up at me, clearly searching my face for answers. I wanted to give her all of them. "But you were so angry and then after that night you just got up and ran away... you couldn't even look at me."

"I know... I... I was a coward." I sighed and rubbed my eyes, admitting this particular truth was far from easy.

Lex let go of me and crossed her arms in front of her, trying to keep her expression guarded. "But why? You could have just told me if you thought it was a mistake, you know..."

"But it wasn't!" I interjected, my voice earnest. "It was the best night of my life!"

"You don't mean that..." Lex said, staring at the floor.

"I do," I insisted, my conviction unwavering. "It doesn't compare to anything. Not the night I found out I got into F1, not the night I won my first world drivers championship, nothing..."

Lex's looked up, her demeanour softening, her eyes searching mine. "But after I kissed you, you ran away... in Jimmy'z... You even wiped your mouth with the back of your hand..."

I winced at the memory. "I... I was overwhelmed. I couldn't believe what had just happened."

"Yeah because you thought I was that other girl..." She nodded slowly, biting her lip and looking away again.

"No!" I rushed to clarify, my heart aching at her demeanour. "I just couldn't believe you had kissed me, Lex. I didn't mean to wipe my mouth... I wanted to check if it was real or if I imagined it..." I took a deep breath, trying not to rush through the next couple of words, "I have been in love with you for the better part of four years."

Her eyes widened in shock, her mouth falling open in disbelief.

My heart twitched painfully, but I knew I had to continue. If I backed down now, I wasn't sure if I would ever be brave enough to say what I needed to say. "I have been in love with you since we first started iRacing against each other. I love you, Lex."

Lex's voice trembled slightly as she asked, "Why didn't you ever try and show me that?"

I met her gaze steadily. "Oh, I tried... believe me... but somehow you never seemed to be interested. You never flirted back..."

Her brows furrowed in confusion. "But the first time we flirted was... at the start of the season. At the party. You leaned down to me and whispered into my ear and I became all flustered and..."

A chuckle escaped me before I could stop it. "Oh god, that was the first time you thought I flirted with you? I was late to the party because I had to down two drinks in order to prepare to see you in a tight dress, talking to the other drivers." I slapped the palm of my hand against my forehead.

[Lex Pov]

I couldn't quite believe what he had just told me. He loved me? He had loved me for the last four years? I wanted to tell him I loved him too, reassuring him that his admission hadn't fallen on deaf ears. But the hurt still lingered, making it difficult to articulate my thoughts.

"Oh Max..." I sighed; my heart felt torn between conflicting emotions.

I looked up at him, his wet hair clung to his forehead, and his jacket, shirt and jeans were all drenched from the rain. How long had he been searching for my place? He must have been freezing.

I pushed past him and closed the door behind us, shutting out the cold wind and rain.

I asked him to undress, which prompted him to raise one of his eyebrows. I just shook my head and told him, that it wouldn't be my fault if he caught pneumonia and lost his chance at the world drivers championship.

As he disappeared into the bathroom, I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him navigating the tight space. I had to suppress my laughter, when I heard him repeatedly bumping his head on the narrow shower.

The sound of his laughter echoed through the room, easing some of the tension that hung between us.

When he emerged, wearing one of my oversized shirts adorned with Care Bears, I couldn't suppress a giggle at the sight. Max joined in as well, twirling and bowing like a prima ballerina. The sound of his laughter echoed through the room, easing some of the tension that still hung between us.

We settled onto the bed together, and I put my head on his chest, listening to his uneven heartbeat.

"You didn't lie when you said your room was small," he remarked, breaking the silence that had settled over us.

I chuckled softly, grateful for the lighthearted comment. "No, I didn't."

***

We spent the rest of the afternoon cuddling and napping. I clung to him, even in my sleep, afraid that he would just disappear again... or that I would wake up and realize that it was all just a dream and he hadn't come to Zaandvort at allI didn't mind that we barely spoke to each other. We both just seemed to enjoy each other's company.

My head was still spinning at the revelations... Jos had made the whole thing up... Max defended me in front of his father, Horner and Marko... I hadn't fled my hotel room because he regretted our shared night together... All of the puzzle pieces were still putting themselves together in my head.

Right now there were only two things I knew for certain:

1. Max loved me.

2. I loved Max.

I would tell him... soon. But saying it now would have felt wrong. I didn't want him to think I only said it because he had said it. No, he deserved better. After all, he had been through so much... Had stood up for me and been so patient...

Later that evening Max told me about his struggles with his father, Horner and even Marko. How his career in F1 had been everything but smooth sailing. He told me how the other drivers had laughed about him when he had taken the simulator along when he flew somewhere new. How most fans thought he sucked, that he was boring to watch...

I found myself hanging onto his every word. His vulnerability was a side of him I rarely saw, and it drew me in, wrapping me in a sense of intimacy I hadn't felt before. He lowered all of his walls, let me see behind the façade.

A smile played on my lips as he reminisced about our first encounter. "You nearly hit me with your car," I chuckled.

"And I made a dent in the hood." Max teased his tone light.

"You never got it fixed," I replied.

"Are you crazy? That's the best part about that car!" He said, laughing.

"Oh? Really? Maybe I should go and dent your other cars as well then..." I giggled, rubbing my hands together like a cartoon villain formulating his masterplan.

Max grabbed ahold of my hands and pinned them to the bed. "Don't you dare!" He said breathless, his eyes wide.

His face was so close to mine now...

I leaned forward and carefully pressed my lips to his. There was no rush now. No anger, and no adrenaline after a shitty race.

This... was just us.

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