Scary stories

Hairballs

You all know exactly what I'm talking about.

Those long strands of hair that you find lying around in clumps. They're often integrated with lint, dirt, and other sticky substances.

Abominations you wish would just stay out of sight.

Well...

This morning I woke up to a pleasant surprise. As I rose from my bed, I let out a yawn. As I did so, something tickled my chin.

Reaching into my mouth, I began to pull out a thick strand of black hair.

Gross!

Call me a pansy, but I think loose hairs lying about all willy-nilly are absolutely disgusting.

Not to pat my own shoulder or anything, but I'm a ladies man. I have different women spend the night at my place every week. I can understand if they leave lipstick marks on my bed sheets, but hair? How vile.

I dropped the hair into the wastebasket on my way to the bathroom, where I began heating the water for my morning shower.

Well...

Upon stepping into the shower, I felt two different sensations. The first was the scalding hot water on my back and the second was even more unpleasant. Something tangled up in between my toes.

More hair. A little ball of it, just waiting to be stepped on.

"Son of a bitch!" I muttered, kicking the hairball towards the shower's drain. A shiver still managed to crawl up my spine despite being in a hot shower. Hopefully it doesn't clog the damn pipe up.

Frustrated, I tried to remember which woman I brought over that had black hair. I couldn't recall a name, but certainly that must have been the last of my "hairy situation".

Well...

After I finished my bathing, I reached out, grabbed my towel, and began drying myself.

Running the towel across my face, I felt more discomfort.

Yep. You guessed it. Another god damn hairball.

"Really?" I yelled . "Seriously?

When I remember who this bitch is, she's going to pay.

I like to blame being late for work on the hairballs, but the truth is that I just woke up too late.

Usually I don't let little things like this get to me, but I was pretty pissed off when I finally got to my car. I've had many, many women over but I don't think any have shed their hair in such quantity! Maybe she was an older lady.

To answer your question: no, I don't discriminate against age.

"Repulsive! Disgusting!" I raged to myself, starting up my car.

I started to drive off but it wasn't too long before I slammed down on my brakes.

"Bridget!" I screamed, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles.

"Bridget! That black-haired whore! It had to have been her!"

Throwing the car into reverse, I backed up into my driveway. I jumped out and ran towards my front door.

I raced through my kitchen and headed towards the living room.

"Where are you Bridget? I'm going to pull your goddamn hair out!"

This was the tedious part.

It was also smelly.

I had to rummage through at least twenty black garbage bags full of bodies to find that bitch.

Next time, I'll make sure to shave all their heads before taking them out again.

Hairballs are nasty.

again credits to CreepyCarbs