Suffocating

College

Calvin.

The hospital was just as he remembered it. The bed was still white with rails to prevent him from rolling off the bed. The machines still beeped, making him painfully aware of how alive he was. Only things were different the second time.

His mom sat in his room for a long time. She didn't say much but she wasn't judging him either. That was the last thing he needed.

The doctors had to purge everything from his stomach. What they gave him to flush his system, didn't settle with him very well. And he didn't want Sophie in the room when he was dry heaving.

Just as he expected, she was distant with him when she walked into the room. It was just the two of them but it felt like there were hundreds of people separating them.

She sat down in the chair his mother had  been sitting in. Her hair was pulled back, which she did when she was worried. Calvin was starting to notice things, little things, that made him love her so much more.

"We need to talk."

Calvin sat up and nodded. He was expecting her to say that. He was just hoping she wouldn't.

"I really care about you. I want to help you, Cal.  But I can't do it all on my own."

"I don't know what to do." He admitted.

"Do you want to get better?" No one had ever asked him that. They only assumed he did and pushed him. He hated that. He wanted a say in what happened to him. He wanted to say no when he didn't agree. He couldn't be miserable anymore.

He nodded.

She took his hand in hers. "Did you and your mom talk?"

"Not really. I didn't know what to say."

"Do you want me to stay?"

He liked being alone, without people watching him or staring or judging him, but he liked having Sophie there. She didn't make him feel bad about anything he had done. She was the only person that really made him happy.

He nodded.

"I've never been in a hospital before." She said softly, running her fingertips over the clip on his finger.

"Sorry to ruin your record."

She smiled. "It's better than sitting at home by myself."

Calvin smiled. "Ash told me you punched Rachel."

"I ruined senior night for her."

"I don't know how she's going to get over that."

Sophie shrugged. "I graduate in a couple of weeks. It doesn't matter what she does."

"Are you excited to graduate?"

"A little."

"Only a little? What happened to your big plans?"

"I'm still going to college in the fall. I just... I don't know if I want to leave Lakewood."

"You have to get out and see the world, Sophie. Lakewood's not the world."

"I don't know if I want to leave you."

"Don't let me stop you from getting out of here. You deserve way more than this."

She met his gaze and he knew the question she really wanted to ask.

"I'll be here when you come back."

"Do you promise?"

He leaned over the side of the bed and kissed her. He'd never wanted to kiss someone more than he wanted to kiss Sophie then. "I promise."