Torn Between Friends

Chapter 10

It had almost been a month. Jungkook kept trying. I figured Yoongi and him hadn't talked yet. The boy still wouldn't stop!

I got back home from work, put my keys on the newly bought coffee table in front of me, and slumped myself onto the couch.

I had decorated my apartment as minimalistic as possible; no bed to have space, a black couch and a white coffee table. I couldn't afford a TV yet. It felt so empty, so depressing. I tried to shake those thoughts as I proceeded towards the kitchen. I prepared a sandwich for myself, sat on the sofa, and just as I was about to eat, my phone started ringing.

It was Yoongi!!

I almost choked on my sandwich.
"Hey", he said flatly when I picked up.
"How are you doing?"
"I've been OK. You?"
"Same. I wanted to come over, may I?"
I almost choked on air. Maybe he has finally understood?
"Is that even a question? Of course you can. I'll text you my address".
"Cool. Hurry then. I'll be there as soon as you text me the address".
He hung up.

I quickly wiped my hand against my shirt and texted him the address. He replied with an OK.

OhMyGod, what will happen? I felt that knot in my stomach that is caused by a mixture of nervousness and excitement.
40 minutes later, I heard a knock on my door.

I got up, and rushed to the door, unlocking it. The door creaked open, and there he was; standing in his black sweat shirt and blue jeans. I let him into the apartment. He scanned quickly, taking it all in, then proceeded to sit on the sofa.

"Where's the bed?" He asked.
"Oh I don't have a lot of space, so I decided to not keep a bed".
"Do you sleep on the sofa?"
"No, I sleep on a futon".
I went and sat next to him. "How have you been, Yoongi?"

He stared at the floor, his eyes oozing with sadness and emptiness. I could see he had grown paler and skinnier, as if that was possible. Maybe I shouldn't have moved out.. but I figured he hated me, so I had to.

"Jungkook keeps calling me. He told me you haven't talked to him at all. Why?" He got straight to the point. He looked at me blankly. I couldn't make out what his expressions said at all, what he was thinking, or feeling.

I took a deep breath. "Because, Yoongi. I hate him. I hate that he did this to us. To you. He ruined everything".

I waited for an answer to that, but he kept staring forward.
It felt like hours of silence creeping on us.

"Did you come here to talk to me about him? Seriously? You did not say goodbye to me that day, you did not stop me from leaving, you did not contact me for a month. You text me to see me today, getting my hopes up for nothing, and all for what? Because I'm not answering Jungkook? Does that not give you even the slightest hint? How clueless can you be!?" I was on the verge of tears.

"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU Y/N", he shouted.

The cookies that I had baked were staring at us, wanting to be touched and eaten.
I heard him take a deep sigh. "Look, I am... just... I don't know. I have been in love with you since a long time. I didn't know how to tell you. Then I witnessed you and Jungkook kissing right after I kissed you, and those texts and you confessing that this has happened before, I was shattered. I felt like life was laughing at me and said 'hah! Bitch you thought you'd get the girl, but you're not that lucky'. I am so sorry that I became a total stranger to you. It was because I didn't want to come between you and Jungkook. I felt like you were saying all that stuff because you felt bad about me. So I had to be distant, to let you breathe and make a decision. I am so so sorry Y/N, but I love you, and I wish you hadn't moved at all".

He leaned back panting, as if he had run a marathon. I wanted to say so much, but the words wouldn't come out. Instead, I just looked at his face. I don't know what he made of my expressions, because honestly my mind was about to explode. All these thoughts were hitting on my head with a sledge hammer. Or perhaps a chainsaw.

He slowly leaned towards me, getting closer, putting his hand on my face, and we kissed. We kissed like two lovers meeting after years of separation. Our tongues dancing together to the rhythm of our heart beats.

He was back. Yoongi was back.
I still didn't know how to tell him Jungkook and I had had sex, but that didn't feel important. I did not want to ruin this. Not right now. We cuddled on the sofa for what seemed like hours. He had some of my cookies.

"Does this mean we are dating?" I asked, looking up at him.
He smiled, kissing my forehead. "Only if you want to".
"I do. I really want to. Because I... I love you too Yoongi. It was you all along". Tears welled up in my eyes and we shared yet another passionate kiss.

Oh god, I had to tell him. Before any of this goes on.
"Listen, Yoongi, there's another thing you should know about Jungkook and I..."
I saw his smile disappear, and his expression turn real serious. He was listening very closely. This was my cue.

"When we went to stay at his place, he came into my room and... he... we..."
"You guys had sex, didn't you?"
I looked down, shamefully. "He completely forced himself onto me".
"You mean he raped you?"
"No! No no... you couldn't call it rape, it was... just forced, and then I caved in..."
"It was rape". I looked at his face. I could feel anger welling up inside him. His heart was beating out of his chest. "I have to go", he said, standing up.

"No! Yoongi, no. I can't let you go to him. I didn't want this to happen!"
"He can't just do this to you and get away with it? And you didn't tell me because, why? You didn't wanna jeopardise my friendship with such an asshole? Y/N, you're too naive".

"But Yoongi I caved in later! You can not call it rape!"
"IT WAS BLOODY RAPE!"

I fell silent. I couldn't calm him down. He had made up his mind. I never thought about that night this way... it was too frightening... me? Getting raped? No way...
"Yoongi... I..."

"I'm leaving". He grabbed his car keys and was heading towards the door.
I pulled onto his arm.
"I'm coming with you".
"No, you–"
"Don't I have a right to be there?"

He paused, hesitated, then agreed.
We both left the apartment, got in his car, and drove to Jungkooks place.
Oh dear god, I wonder how things will turn out...