Blue Moon

C H A P T E R 27

MATING HEAT

KAI

I come home bone-weary and angry while Arrah would be studying in the living room or in the kitchen. She would smile and pull me down to sit with her. She would ask me how my day went but I don't answer and I don't even ask about how her day was. She would pout and kiss me on the lips. She would then take the bag and put our dinner unto the plates. Instead of eating our meals quietly, she would keep the conversion alive with her stories about her day.

I would go for a shower as she cleaned up after us. My bedclothes would be ready when I got out of the bathroom. We'd lock up, by the time we reached the foot of the stairs, she would jump on my back, and I'd carry her on the way up. When we reach our bed, she would thank me with a kiss. Sleeping with her in my arms gave me peace and made me whole. I know I would sleep contented tonight and feel blessed in the morning.

Then there's this woman...

That Sid invited herself to places where my mate was. I was fucking well over thirty but it made me want to act like a kid, to take her face and block Sid's view. I was even tempted to poke Sid's eye with the pencil Arrah was writing with when she studies. Their closeness was triggering my insecurities and tripled when Arrah returned home after a night with Sid from the fuck who knows where.

Apart from Sid, what scared me the most was the feeling of not feeling Arrah at all. The night before that my wolf was going off the rails. Crawling out, raging in anguish and wounded, as if our mate was dead. Like Arrah was dead. Then that next morning, she was walking towards me-no, a woman resembling her was running to me but I could not feel the bond. It terrified me just like it did when I first saw her.

The fates were making an atrocious joke by dangling a carrot to lead a horse on. My heart hoped and that same hope was dashed and will be dashed the next time she disappears. Or at least the Arrah that was my mate disappears. A hole would grow and swallow my chest and grief would wash over me. Every single fucking time I feel her dying, I die too. Going with her was a gift I would gladly take. However, going over this cycle of feeling that I lost her and then find her again? It's like ripping my beating heart out and forcing it back in.

'Arrah scares me.'

"Do I make you happy?" She repeated the question. Her heterochromia eyes searched mine.

"You scare me..." It's what she does. Losing her scared me and having to feel that on repeat wound me.

Her gaze fell and she went still on top of me. "I guess I shouldn't have asked, huh?"

"I am afraid of you, Arrah... I don't know why I feel this way and fuck, I don't like it..." I felt her pull away but I grabbed her down and moved to push her on her back and pin her with my body.

Her dress has ridden up that our bare thighs touched. Squirming beneath me, her center rubbed on my leg. The pale face that was turned towards me grew red. "Oh..."

"I'm scared of how you make me feel so many things..." All at once.

"I need you, Ms. Randale." Reading my head and the battle of wanting to continue our talk, she made the first move. Lifting her head, her lips found mine.

My nostrils flared at the smell of her arousal. Talking would have to wait until later because this takes precedence. She wants me. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she kissed me. Grabbing her thighs, I got us out of the couch. Walking and carrying her was easy but focusing on getting us up to our room was difficult.

Her voice and the sounds she's making excited me to no end. Damn. I've been ignoring her for weeks that I thought nothing of it. Only now do I remember that I've ignored us longer than I was willing to live without her touch.