One in a Million

Nothing Matters

Harry's POV:

Luna smiled at me as she walked out of the portrait hole to give us privacy. Part of me wished she would stay, because she helped me stay calm.

Dumbledore walked inside and sat in one of the comfy chairs by the fire. He looked so out of place in his midnight blue robes that it was almost humerus. Almost.

I walked over and sat on the chair opposite of him. I remembered the last time I had talked to him. It was right after I thought Sirius was dead. I tore up his office and he didn't make the slightest movement to stop me.

Dumbledore looked at me intently, worry in his gaze. "Are you alright, Harry?"

Just peachy, thanks. I'm apparently being possessed by the Dark Lord, but other than that, I'm just brilliant. Thanks for asking!

"Why?" I knew the answer, but I didn't want to talk to him and I was stalling.

"What happened at dinner tonight?" I sighed and looked into the fire.

I felt a flicker of sadness when I remembered how Sirius' head appeared there just last year. It seemed like so long ago. The anger went away again. But just for a moment.

"I don't know. I got angry. Really angry. Everything makes me angry lately. Hell, I nearly burned down Number 4 this morning." Dumbledore nodded. Apparently he already knew this. That made my anger double back.

"How do you know everything?" I blurted out. "Nothing gets past Dumbledore! Nothing! At least not with me! Do you have tails on me again? People watching me? If so, why didn't anyone stop me? Or are you too afraid to leave your office like a coward?" I felt the venom in my voice, but could also tell that the voice wasn't mine. It was higher and colder.

"You are a coward, Dumbledore. You don't deserve to rule this school. You deserve to be locked away and striped of your powers. You should be made weak. A pathetic muggle. You let their children into your school. Why don't you start acting like one?"

I knew this was bad. I couldn't control myself anymore. I couldn't control my actions or what I was saying. I couldn't even control my own mind.

"Harry. This isn't you. You know it isn't. Fight this. Fight him." A laugh came from my throat, but it was cold and cruel.

"You fool, Dumbledore. He couldn't fight me before. He likes the taste of his evil. He likes the taste of destruction. Now save the world from the evil he will become. Because he will become more evil than even myself if he lives. I shall make sure of it." I fell out of my chair and  lay twitching on the floor.

It was like no time had passed since that night at the ministry when I was laying in the dust, fighting for my life. This was much of the same, except I couldn't think of anything to fight for.

I felt my resolve slipping. I didn't care about Ron or Hermione. Wouldn't it be better for them if I were gone? Ron wouldn't be jealous. Hermione could study in peace. They wouldn't be in constant danger. It would be better if I died. It would be better for them.

"You are pathetic, Tom. Using a child to fight your own battles." Dumbledore was on his feet, his wand in his hand.

"You know you cannot win. He is full of love. You cannot keep hold of such a pure soul for long." Another laugh escaped my throat.

"You see, his soul is not pure, Dumbledore. It craves vengeance and destruction. And that craving will grow the longer it goes unfed."

I distantly heard footsteps, then a cry as someone raced over to me. "Harry!"

I could feel Hermione's hand grasping mine, but it didn't feel warm. It felt cold. Everything felt cold. Even the fire. Even the presence of the people I used to love. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing.

"Help him. You are his family." Dumbledore commanded.

I caught my reflection in a mirror and saw that my eyes were scarlet and my face was white. I looked up at Dumbledore and a sneer curled my lips.

"No one can help us, Dumbledore. We are the lost ones. The ones without a place. Now kill the boy before he takes his rightful place beside me!"

Hermione looked over at Dumbledore. "What are we supposed to do?"

"You're his family. Be his family. Bring him back." Hermione seemed to be thinking as she looked back down at me. Then she got an idea.

"Harry. Listen to me. You're Harry James Potter. You love watching the lake and playing Quidditch. You sit at the window when you can't sleep. You always make sure your sausage and your eggs don't touch because you're strangely OCD. You keep your friends safe. You look out for your family. You always try to make us laugh. You're good, Harry."

I felt a stabbing pain in my head and her voice slightly became clearer, but then everything went fuzzy again.

"Filthy mudblood. Thinking she can change us. Change Lord Voldemort. We will set an example of her, won't we?"

I had somehow gotten my wand in my hand and it was aimed straight for Hermione. I felt someone wrench it out of my grip and could vaguely smell the aftershave that I knew belonged to Ron.

"Harry mate. This isn't you. You know it isn't. You don't hurt anyone. Not unless you have to." He paused for a moment then spoke again as he sat down next to Hermione.

"Think of Sirius. Of how he cared about you. He talked of nothing but you when we were staying at Headquarters. He loved you the way that we do. He loved you, Harry. He loves you."

Ron's voice slowly became clearer and I felt the fog that had been encroaching on my vision start fading away.

Suddenly, a high pitched scream echoed in my head and I clutched it tightly. I was screaming too. My head felt like it was going to split open and I felt like my throat would tear.

"Harry! What's going on?" Ron demanded. I couldn't see him anymore. I couldn't see anything because my eyes were now slits.

"Voldemort is leaving his mind." Dumbledore knelt down next to me.

"Harry. Keep fighting. Fight for your friends and your loved ones. Fight for your family." I felt like my head was about to tear in two.

You cannot win, foolish boy. I am stronger than you will ever be. I heard Voldemort's words clearly in my mind.

"You're wrong." I gasped. "I am stronger than you. In every possible way." I could now feel Hermione's warm hand in mine, rubbing circles on my palm.

"You don't know love. Or friendship. And you never will. You're loosing now. And you will loose for a long time."

I felt a stabbing pain in my head, then felt nothing at all. Everything was blank, and everything was black.