One in a Million

Stars

Draco's POV:

I walked down to the Common Room, my heart heavy. Harry had run out. He had bolted from the room after a quick glance between Lupin and I. I was a fool to think that anything could happen. An absolute idiot.

"Draco! Where have you been?" Pansy demanded as soon as I walked in. "I haven't heard from you since lunch!"

"I-I was talking with Lupin." Pansy tapped her foot impatiently.

"And? How did it go?" I felt a tear slip out of my eye and turned away.

Pansy caught the motion and was immediately by my side. "Dray...what happened?"

"I was wrong, Pansy. I was so so wrong."

She wrapped me in her arms and rocked me back and forth like a child.

"Wrong about what?" She whispered into my ear.

"I talked to Lupin. He then talked to Harry. Harry was doing good. I thought he was figuring it out. Then later he came barging in. I barely had time to get on the invisibility cloak before he did. He saw me and flipped then bolted. I-I messed everything up, Pansy."

Pansy shook her head then pulled away. "You did nothing wrong. Potter did. And he sure as hell won't get away with hurting you. Zambini!"

Blaise came tripping down the stairs. "What is it?" He asked, straightening his tie.

"Come on. We've got a brawl to begin."

"Pansy! No!" I tried to go after her, but she stopped me.

"No Draco! I won't let that Gryffindor prat hurt you like that. You don't deserve it."

"Pansy. It'll scare him even more. Please. Don't." She looked over my face then huffed.

"Fine. Only for you. If I can't physically hurt him, can I at least whisper death threats?" I chuckled and led her back to the couch.

"Sure Pansy. As much as you want."

***

The next day I stayed in the dormitory, feigning illness. Pansy walked in and sat down beside me.

"Draco. Why are you avoiding him?" She had never been one for subtlety.

"Because as long as I do, I can pretend nothing happened." Pansy sighed.

"That won't get you anywhere. Pick up the pieces and start over." I shook my head.

"No Pansy. I don't...this is different than some rejection. I can actually feel it. At that moment I felt like my heart broke into a thousand pieces. I could hear the thoughts swirling around Harry's head. The confusion. The loss. The...revulsion. He hates me Pansy. Hates. I can't...I can't be around him like that. You don't understand what it's like to hear the thoughts of the person you are doing your very best to protect and have those thoughts be nothing but bitterness."

Pansy sighed and laid down next to me, staring up at the ceiling.

She was still for a moment, then waved her wand so stars appeared.

"Tell me that one." I rolled over.

"You already know all the stars, Pans." She nodded.

"But it makes you feel better. Now tell me that one." I smiled at her.

"You would have been a good Hufflepuff." She made a retching noise.

"I'll leave if you don't shut up." I actually laughed as I looked back up at the enchanted ceiling. (Don't at me, I hold nothing against Hufflepuffs!)

***

I fell asleep with the enchanted sky above me. When I woke a few hours later, the bed was empty, but the stars were still there.

I remembered Mother taking me out to look at the stars when I was little. She would do it to distract me from Father when he was in a mood. Aka, when he was drunk.

She would point up at the sky and tell me stories about how brave the Dog Star, Sirius, was, because he left behind his bad home. I didn't understand how stars could leave their homes or why they were bad ones, but I loved Mother's stories.

I learned Altair, Vega, Arcturus, Canopus, and thousands more. Mother always said I had a large brain when it came to star names. I could always pick them out against all the stars in the sky. I loved looking at them.

They reminded me of those peaceful moments with Mother, sitting outside in the garden with the fountain dripping beside me and the wind chimes tinkling. Mother had always liked wind chimes. She said they were relaxing.

I needed those relaxing wind chimes now and Mother's fun stories. I missed the simple times when we could sit out in the garden and watch the stars. It seemed like that would never happen now. Not with the war coming. Not with the Dark Lord gaining power. And, most importantly, as I had changed sides.

I had begged and pleaded with Mother to come with me, to leave the darkness behind, but she was afraid. Afraid she would be found and killed and there would be no one to look after me.

She still sent me owls to let me know she was alive. I knew I couldn't go home. It was a death sentence. I wasn't sure what I was going to go when the year was over, but I knew I couldn't go there.

I had most definitely been closed off from the family vaults. No one would want to hire me, as most people knew my family.

Nowhere was safe with Death Eaters on the prowl, thirsty for my blood and for the reward dragging me back would bring. I had nowhere. I had nothing.