It's time to move on

Chapter 29 - Why is that every place reminds me of her? (J)

When I woke up the next morning I had this crazy feeling that something’s wrong; like a warning or my sixth sense telling me that something really bad happened. I know it’s just a stupid intuition but it felt so real; so real that it scared the hell out of me. And I don’t get scared that easily; unless something happened to the people I cared – Elle, Gabe, Em and Anna.

As if on cue I remembered everything happened yesterday night and instantly knew it’s got to do with Anna. Taking my mobile I hurriedly called her number only to realize it’s switched off which made me more suspicious and tensed. When I called Emily she was still asleep making me rush to her house after getting ready in less than ten minutes.

“Where is Anna?” I yelled at Lily and Emily who were sitting in their living room looking sad and hurt.

“Jason---” Emily started sadly looking very disappointed.

“What happened? Where is she?” I snapped.

“I woke up just now. Mom told me that Anna left” Emily croaked with tears in her eyes.

I think I heard her say Anna left. How the hell can she say that? I know there’s no way Anna would leave me. She loves me too much to even think of doing that.

“Stop joking Em. Is it some game that you planned with Gabe again?” I said scowling at her.

She shook her head with tears in her eyes when I continued “Where is she? Anna!!! Anna!!!” I yelled calling her name but got no reply in response.

“Oh My God. Where the hell is she? Why isn’t she coming?” I growled waltzing into her room upstairs only to find her closet open and empty.

I searched her room calling her name and then bathroom only to find it empty too.

So, s-she l-left? Like really left me? Tears welled up in my eyes as I finally figured out what happened and I didn’t know I was capable of crying until that moment. The hell, I didn’t even cry when I knew the truth about my father’s death or when I got a call that Elle had an accident last year.

W-why did she leave me? She didn’t even write a good bye letter this time.

She gave you a good bye date last night, my mind reminded. Is that why she was sad yesterday?

‘I love you. Remember that I’ll always love you’

‘I will do anything for you Jace’

‘I will miss you’

Her words rang in my ears as I dropped on to her bed that still smelled like her and closed my eyes remembering every damn thing that happened ever since I met her in the store.

How I wish she is here in my arms right now. How I wish I could have said that I love her so damn much that it literally pains my heart and I truly feel like dying seeing her gone.

Why did she leave me? Would she have stayed if I told her that I loved her? Would it have been different if I confessed to her?

I can’t blame anyone but me now. I behaved like a wimp and never confessed to her, not even when she said to me one last time that she loved me. May be she thought that I don’t love her and don’t deserve the unconditional love she showered to me which might have made her say ‘I know how you feel’

Was I wrong to think yesterday that she knew I loved her? Yeah, may be. If she knew she wouldn’t have left, definitely.

Or did she know I was planning to go after her and didn’t want me to ruin my life. Is that what she meant when she said ‘I will do anything for you’