Not If I Date You First

Chapter 44

ADA

I lean my forehead against the window of the cab as rain washes the city in gray. The perfect aesthetic for my current mood. This internship meant so much to me. I can't believe what I'm about to do.

Seeing the anguish and fear on Liam's face when he found out his story had been leaked to the press changed everything. There's no way I could be a paparazzo after that. I've always wanted my photography to be a positive thing. I never intended to hurt anyone, especially not someone I cared about. Someone I'd fallen in love with.

I fucking loved you. How could you do this?

Pain sears inside my chest. It's all I can do to keep from doubling over. Those two sentences played on repeat in my mind all night. No matter how many times I think about them, they don't lose their meaning. They cut just as deep as when Liam said them.

I wrap my arms around my stomach, holding myself together. The car goes over a pothole, and my nose thuds against the glass. The dull ache makes tears prickle behind my eyes, which has more to do with the pain in my heart than anything else.

I sit back against the cracked leather seat, trying to focus on what I need to do this morning. I didn't want to go into the office at all. I was going to text Agnes as soon as I got home from the beach to tell her I was quitting. But my dad—who was unsurprisingly thrilled with my decision—insisted I do the professional thing and deliver my resignation in person.

My mom, on the other hand, wanted to slap Agnes with a lawsuit for selling that photograph without my permission. I should let her. Maybe I will. Right now, I'm so consumed by anger at myself, I don't have the emotional bandwidth to worry about Agnes. I just want to get this over with.

I've never quit anything of any real significance in my life. It's ironic that the thing I'm choosing to walk away from is the one thing I thought I always wanted. But I couldn't have been more wrong.

Having to deal with all the other photogs and their gross, misogynistic comments, having to sneak around and photograph people's most private moments, having to jeopardize my own morals—this job was never right for me. I can't believe it took me so long to realize it.

The brakes of the cab squeal as it slows to a stop, and I look out the window. We're already at the agency. A wave of anxiety clobbers me. When I leave here, I'll be facing a future where I have no idea what I want to do, and that's terrifying.

I pay the driver and dash through the downpour. The receptionist doesn't bother glancing up as I walk past. I almost laugh, because my entire world has blown up in the last twenty-four hours. It feels like nothing should be the same anymore, but this woman's disapproval is unwavering.

I push the door to Agnes's office open and find her standing behind her desk. She isn't alone. Chrissy's sitting in the chair across from her.

"Ada. Good, you're here." A huge smile stretches across Agnes's face. That photo of Liam and his dad must've really brought in a lot of money.

"I need to talk to you, Agnes." I sit down, looking pointedly over at Chrissy, who's gazing out the window, not meeting my eye.

"Yes, you do. In fact, we need to do more than talk. We need to celebrate." Agnes sits down and pulls two pieces of paper out of a folder and slides them across the desk.

I read the first sentence and blink. Shaking my head, I read it again, not understanding. It's an offer of employment. Permanent employment.

Whirling around, I look back at Agnes's whiteboard. The scores have all been erased.