Dark to Light

Healing and loneliness

I spent the next year on my own.
This was the first time I had been truly single in a long time.
It seems I always had someone to talk to though.
It was just enough to keep the loneliness at bay and still have the excitement of dating.
I can't even tell you how we met, but this man "N" would call me regularly. He was firm with us just being friends because he was working on his bachelor degree and wanted zero distractions.
We would go to movies often and talk for hours at night.
I desperately wanted him to just be with me, but I never pushed it.
He was so sweet and we only kissed a couple times.
But I knew if I wanted a true relationship, I had to look elsewhere.

Remember those parties I told you about that my friend through at her house?
*insert gross make out memory*
Well at a one the parties they had there was a guy who lived down the street from us. His name is "M".
He was sort of talking to my best friend at the time but I didn't care because at that time I was still with CD.
I always had him at the back of my mind though that he was super attractive.
How I had so many different guys entangled in my brain, into my web. I have no clue how I managed it.
But little did I know then, that man would profoundly change my life more than I could ever know.

There was a point where there was a lull in guys and I had no one. My best friend decided that she really wasn't into "M" and told me that she thought that me and him would get along really great actually.
So she per girl code, let me pursue him.
When I tell you I jumped on that opportunity quickly, I mean my fingers couldn't type fast enough.
I messaged him on Facebook and assertively stated that I found him very attractive.
To my delight, he felt the exact same way.
So I gave him my number and there started something that was out of my control.