Coming Home

Thirty-One

Levi gives a slight nod; although I can't see the movement through my blurred vision, I can feel it against my hair as his head rests against mine. "I understand," he says tenderly, the apparent pain in his voice threatening to send me over the deep end at any given second. I had expected this conversation to be hurtful, but I don't think I had anticipated just how devastating it would feel to recognize the extent of Levi's pain. "But this doesn't have to end here, Lex," he continues, his hand reaching up to cup my face. Carefully, he turns my head toward him, his concerned eyes scanning my features as I try not to choke myself on the drastically building hurt growing within me. "I assumed Grandpa Jones's funeral would take place in New York, and I've already requested the time off from work to accompany you," Levi states, a caution in his tone that I hadn't expected.

His words leave me entirely flabbergasted, my heart and lungs practically ceasing to exist in this moment as they simultaneously forget how to properly do their jobs. If I had thought this man couldn't get more perfect... He never fails to amaze me. My teeth pull my bottom lip into their grasp, biting down harshly on the flesh in a poor attempt to stop my feelings from spilling out against my will until I can taste the metallic tang of blood as it seeps into my mouth.

As Levi gently tucks a tendril of hair behind my ear, his fingertips softly caress my cheek. "Let me be here for you, Lexi," he pleads, his beautiful chocolaty eyes pooling with unshed tears of his own, only further deepening my feelings for him. "If you must remain in New York after the services, at least allow me to help you through it. I care far too much about you to allow you to go through this alone, especially so soon after everything else that's happened."

I'm left utterly speechless by Levi's selflessness, my mind suddenly going blank and my involuntary bodily functions freezing as if they've somehow become pointless. It's almost as if I've forgotten how to be entirely. My mind is so thoroughly wound around the man before me that it apparently has decided it can't be bothered to do such simple tasks as sustaining life or something. Truthfully, I can't even blame it right now.

"You don't have to go through this alone, Lexi. I'm here for you, and I'd follow you just about anywhere. While I won't be able to up and move out of state right now, I do have a reasonable amount of time off that I can take to go with you to New York and ensure that you're okay before I have to return. Let me do that for you, Lexi. Even if we can't pursue a relationship, I can't let you be alone at a time like this," says Levi when I don't verbally respond. The genuineness and sincerity held in his tone deliver a severe impact that I could not have anticipated. "You mean too much to me to watch you suffer like that," he whispers softly.

It's as if his words have somehow suddenly restarted my heart, the organ in my chest slowly returning to life as it finally resumes pumping blood through my body. An unfamiliar warmth spreads through me, and a strangled gasp escapes past my lips. Stifling another sob, I remain unable to form any words at the moment, the sheer intensity of the love I have for this man--and the love he evidently holds for me--overtaking me completely. With a trembling sigh, I nod at him, giving the only plausible answer I can right now; nothing would make me happier than having Levi by my side. Acknowledging my affirmation, Levi presses his lips to my forehead in a comforting kiss, and I allow myself to melt into his embrace.

Parting from him is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life; I can already feel it.

But at least that's not something I have to worry about for today.

When I feel as if I'm all cried out, Levi urges me into the house, desperate to warm me up after sitting outside in the cold for hours. His large hands encase my frozen fingers, gently rubbing warmth into them as the feeling returns; I had been so wrapped up in my emotions that I hadn't even noticed when they went numb. Dutifully, Levi sits beside me, offering as much comfort and support as humanly possible as I arrange for our departure in the morning.

Even as I purchase the plane tickets and confirm travel arrangements, I'm left with a lingering disbelief that this is actually happening; Levi Hutchins is coming home to New York with me. It wasn't long ago that Theo and I had arrived in Minnesota for Gran's funeral... and that obviously didn't end well. As my mind tries to somehow link the two occurrences, to convince me that taking Levi with me isn't a great idea and that things will somehow end up as devastatingly as they did this time around, my heart protests those thoughts with its every beat.

Levi is not Theo.

The two situations are not comparable in the least.

Besides, the future is already known at this point--Levi and I will undoubtedly be parting ways not long after the completion of the services.

The mere thought has my chest aching, but I attempt to shove that pain aside and focus solely on bidding farewell to the man who took me in when I had no one. The man who provided me with a family that I desperately needed when I was young and alone with nowhere to go and no one to care for me. In order to survive this, I must maintain my concentration on providing Grandpa Jones with a proper sendoff into the afterlife; he deserves no less than that after everything he's done for me over the last few years.