We've Met Before

17 - Good News

CADE

    Her body molds so perfectly to mine.
    She's my own personal puzzle piece, the only one I have.
    I watch as she sleeps, her cherry lips whistling slightly with every breath she takes. I hadn't tasted her in so long.
    Her kisses feel like heaven.
    I'm a very lucky man.
    I watch silently as she sleeps, a perverted habit I've acquitted ever since I discovered how pleasing it can be to see her rest. It's the only time I think I see her put her mind to rest.
    She smiles softly every once in a while, and my heart churns. God, I hope she's dreaming of me.
    I suddenly shudder, the thought of my dream last night washing over me like cough medicine.
    I remember seeing her running in a long dark hall, running from me. She wanted me to chase her, and her laugh brightening the hall until she simply dropped. Her body went limp and her giggle stopped.
    I shut my eyes, and dig my head into her blonde hair. Her scent lingers all over my sheets now, and the pillow case.
God, the pillow case smells exactly like her.
    Her eyes flutter open, and her hand reaches out to my face. Her fingers toy with my skin, grazing at me as if I was made of satin.
    She embraces me.
    "Things feel too perfect, Cade." She whispers, and I know her mind is working again.
    I tense, almost livid at the fact that her mind won't allow her bliss. She was so loose, and free last night, and we're back to doubts.
    "Mm," I hum, "What if we ran away? Just the two of us."
    She giggles, take aback. "Run away? Been there, done that."
    "Such a bad girl," I tease, finding her waist and pushing her further against me. A small moan escapes her lips and I feel my pajama pants strain. I look at her under the mountain of blonde and find myself wanting more. Wanting her.
    I find her lips and connect mine with them. She closes her lips shut, not letting me move my tongue into her mouth. We're playing like that? I bite down on her bottom lip, her lips opening in a whimper. I take the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth and she smiles further into the kiss.
    I lift myself above her, letting my eyes roam her body. She's so beautiful, and so gorgeously full in all the right places.
    I dip the neckline of her shirt down, exposing her breasts. They're plump and soft as ever.
    I want to dig myself deep inside of her.
    But I don't think I'm able to do that yet.
    Her face is red, and shy. Usual Kaia.
    I grasp her breast and place a soft kiss on the skin. Her eyes close and her hands lift to my shoulders for stability. I circle my tongue around her, now hard, nipple, hearing the sounds of her soft moans fill the room. I bring my fingers to her other breast, squeezing lightly at her free nipple.
    "Cade, please."
    "Please what?" I ask.
    "Please, just touch me." She begs, growing more desperate with each second.
    She doesn't need to ask a second time because I'm already making my way down her curves. I take one of her hands, and grasp it, lowering it all the way down to her heat. She seems confused, but her eyes are ablaze with a fire I'm not used to seeing in her. Her blue eyes watch as I take her nimble fingers and place them against the edge of her clit.
    "Touch yourself." I command, seeing her eyes widen, but her body listen.
    She slowly begins rubbing circles around herself, feeding more and more into her sounds.
    I watch.
    My cock aches and I can feel myself about to come inside my pants, but this is all worth too much for me to please myself.
    I bring my mouth to her entrance, swiping my tongue against her wet folds. I dip my tongue inside, at the same time as her fingers start moving faster, and harsher against her cunt.
    I follow her own rhythm, letting her take control of how she wants me to take her.
    She goes faster, and faster, and faster.
    And all I can do is follow.
    She starts moaning louder, and louder. I lift my head, and bring a hand to her mouth, muffling her noises. My mom is still downstairs.
    She stops for a second, her hands no longer moving. I furrow my eyebrows.
    "Don't fucking stop."
    She listens, and continues. I smooth my hands over her, starting from her breast, then to her waist, and finally between her thighs. I let my fingers dance around her wetness, barely grazing her.
    "Cade, please, please, please." She breathes.
    "You look so pretty when you're begging."
    I place two fingers inside her, slowly entering, and exiting. Her moaning stops as she takes in a large gasp, completely becoming undone beneath me.
    I watch as her back arches, her waist closing in on my torso. I quicken my pace and she comes on my fingers, her nails digging into the skin of my shoulders. Her eyes stay connected with mine, her contact not wavering even once. Even beneath all the shaking and inhaling.
      A lazy, tired smile spreads over her face. Her hands drop my shoulders and spread against the mattress.
    "I love seeing you like that," I tell her, admiring the beautiful woman laying in my bed. "I hope you know how much I love seeing you... satisfied."
    "Can I? You always do it for me, but it's like you don't like me doing it for you." She frowns, asking a genuine question.
    I look at her, and feel a strange twisting in my stomach. I can't let her do anything to me, not because it's not my biggest fantasy, but because I don't deserve to be touched by her.
    Not after what I did.
    "It's enough to see you under me." I respond curtly, heading towards the bathroom.
    I turn the faucet on and fill the sink with cold water. Once it's full, I shove my head inside, holding my breathe while the chill pinches and bites at my skin. It burns, but it feels nice to burn. It feels nice to hurt.
    I feel my lungs attempt to expand, and I have no other choice but to release my breath.
    1,
    2,
    3,
    4,
    "Cade," She says, her hand on my shoulder as she stares at me concerned.
    The last thing I deserve is Kaia's sympathy. I suddenly feel sick, realizing that what I did this morning was to mainly get myself off on her own pleasure.
    I become like an addict, constantly suffering withdrawals from her mere presence.
    I was never even meant to talk to her, or associate with her after this summer. It was pure chance that she was the intelligent girl Mrs. Commander kept talking about in english.
     My greed, my selfishness, begged me to continue talking to her —even though I know the consequences of what that did. My mind floats back to Gabby in the study with Kaia and I, the way she would steal glares at me, and the fact that her presence was meant to be a menace to me.
    I'm selfish when it comes to Kaia.
    I'm careless, and I'm stupid, and I shouldn't keep doing this.
    Yet, I know that it's all I'll ever do.
    I lift my head from the water, and pant. My lungs enjoy the luxury of oxygen once again, and I grant Kaia a nod. She silently understands, and leaves the bathroom.
——
    I tread down the stairs to find my mom and Kaia in deep conversation. My mother is completely smitten with her. After my mother realized how serious my father's illness was, she stopped receiving visitors. She stopped showcasing her garden, and she stopped having hushed conversations in the kitchen counter. She stopped smiling at anyone who wasn't me, and she stopped wandering the house like she usually would when dad was around.
But since yesterday, she almost seems, hopeful.
"Are we all ready?" My mom says, her body swallowed by a white cardigan. She hasn't been eating well, and as much as I bring her milkshakes from Ottie's and french fries from that one burger place around the corner, she seems to grow thinner and thinner everyday.
"Yes, let's go," I say, grabbing the car keys off the counter and walking out to the driveway. I open the door to a weirdly quiet Kaia, and I nod to her reassuringly.
I know my mom already told her where we're going.
The engine revs, and we drive off.
——
    The three of us enter the waiting room, sitting quietly against the blue hospital chairs. My knee bounces up and down, and I focus on all the pamphlets and posters covering the walls.
    I can't even read half of them, but maybe the frustration of it all makes it all the better.
    My mom's hands are crossed neatly across her lap. She looks as prim and elegant as always, one of the things dad would say he always loved about her. Her hair is a dull blonde, and her skin is paler than usual.
    She's deteriorating.
    Maybe not in the same way dad is, but deteriorating indeed.
    A woman in blue scrubs walks towards us, holding out a clipboard in one hand, and a pen in the other.
    "Steele?" Her voice is cheery, hopeful. The tone they've probably told her to talk in, the tone she's been mandated to use with her extra sensitive patients.
    "Yes," my mom responds, sitting impossibly straighter than before, and flattening her hands across her thighs.
    "Follow me," the nurse responds.
    My mom and I stand up, and I wait for Kaia to do so too —but then I realize that she isn't. She looks at me apprehensively, mentally biting her nails.
    "Cade, this is your family's moment. I don't want to intru-"
    "You are family. Get up." I respond, holding a hand out to her.
    She quietly grabs onto my hand, and her converse follow me through the cold hallways.
    It's just as a I remember it. A long, frigid, tunnel of white and glacial blues. It smells of anti-septic and fragrance mist.
    I glance at all the rooms down the hall, peeking in pervertedly at all the sad rooms. I see young people, and older people, and families aiding beside them. I see tears, and a couple of laughs.
    To think that in here I'm just a room number and last name.
   Steele 1012.
   The nurse finally halts in front of a close door, scribbling on her wooden clipboard. She turns and faces the three of us.
    "Dr. Roltz will be here in a few minutes to talk about how to move on with procedures, and general patient progress. Please ring the bell beside the bed for help. Thank you, for visiting!" She smiles. Her smile is as artificial as whatever Lysol they've sprayed this place down in.
    She opens the door and I see my father lying on a hospital bed, draped in cotton sheets and cold air conditioning.
    He's awake, a slight smile on him as he's attached by tubes to large machines and devices to track his heart beat.
    My dad has hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.
    A mouthful, but I know the name by heart and memory. His father had it, and it was passed down genetically. He didn't show any genuine symptoms until about 15 years ago. I was two when he first passed out unconscious in our living room.
    I don't actually remember it.
    My mom just tells me it happened.
    He spent the next couple of years slipping in and out of hospitals, like a mailman visiting it's houses every Sunday afternoon, except every letter is bad news.
    I look at my mom and her shoulders drop, her smile minutes away from shattering, her eyes floating somewhere between my dad and his condition.
     I'll never marry. I'll never have kids.
    I'll never subject anyone else through the pain my mother has endured by my father's side. Life isn't a fairytale, it's not a book where things always end up solved, and happy.
    I watch my mother's eyes and see her lifetime with my dad float through her eyes like a move reel every time we step into this damn room.
    I look at Kaia shyly standing beside me, holding onto my forearm. She looks so small from my height, so susceptible to everything around her. 
    She just looks that way though.
    She's very strong, and very resilient. She thinks she's weak, and she thinks she's one blow away from falling down, but she isn't.
    I wish she knew that.
    My mom sits down beside my dad, creating hushed conversation with him. They do that often, they act as if nobody else is in the room, as if they're whispering secrets between each other that nobody else must hear.
    They're always in their own world.
    "He looks just like I remember him," Kaia whispers to me, still in a bit of shock at seeing him here. "I saw him a couple of times growing up. I remember how good friends my dad was with him."
     "They still are you know. Your dad strolls by every couple of weeks to visit him." I say, looking down at her blonde hair.
     I remember how shocked Kaia seemed at my casual demeanor with her dad, but truth is her dad and I get along very well. Especially because we both bond over having someone we love in a place like this.
    My dad finally turns to look at me, breaking his endearing trance with my mom. He chuckles and opens his arms slowly. Almost as if it hurts him to move.
    Kaia let's go of my arm and I walk over, hugging him. He groans as I squeeze and starts holding his side, wincing in pain. I panic.
    "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean—"
    My dad breaks out in a fit of laughter. His eyes wrinkle and he starts holding his chest.
    "I'm just kiddin' with ya, kid! Takes much more than a couple of muscles to kill ya old man."
    I frown and roll my eyes, slightly amused at his ability to still laugh in a place like this. "Yea, well you don't look a day over almost dead dad."
    "Almost is a long time away, kid. Still have my folks to take care of." He grins, looking over at my mom and switching back to me.
    Always the caretaker, never the taken care of.
    He shifts slightly, taking in Kaia beside me. My mom's light jeans and her white t-shirt fit along her body, hugging her beautifully.
     "You must be James' daughter," Kaia freezes, looking up at me nervously. "You look just like the bastard! I've heard so much about you Kaia!"
    Kaia feels much more at ease with his instant approval, and walks over to my dad's open arms.
    He's a very big hugger.
    Kaia accepts his hug and smiles at him. "I hope all good things. My dad tends to be very vague and quizzical about everything."
    "Yes, quizzical! Man always speaks in riddles almost. Back in highschool, your old man used to teach me math after school. I wasn't very clever, but your father was the smartest kid in the damn school. I was always much more into sports and all that junk. A bit of a misfit."
    My dad played football for all of his high school career, and he had received multiple scholarships for football across the country. He realized eventually though that it wasn't his passion, it wasn't something he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He had used it as an outlet to escape his toxic household, but not as something he genuinely had interest in.
     "We haven't seen each other in a couple of years. You look well," Kaia says, and although it may seem like a lie, I truly believe she means every syllable of it.
    "I am well. Well is a feeling Kaia, not a state. I am always well and good."
    She giggles and continues talking to my dad, sharing anecdotes about her father. My mom looks so happy and satisfied with this newfound interaction.
She nudges my shoulder. "He loves her, you can tell."
"Do you love her?" I ask, raising an eyebrow
"What is there not to love, dear." Her southern accents drawls out, same accent she shares with my dad. "I'm glad you're around her again, you stopped bringing her around this year. Your father and I thought maybe something had happened between the two of you."
I give her a silent response.
Her eyebrows furrow. "What aren't you telling me Cade William."
"I fucked up," I look towards Kaia and my dad, "I fucked up and I can't take back time mom."
She sighs, crossing her arms around her skinny frame. "Time isn't the only thing that can heal, dear. Water your plants, and I'm sure they'll blossom."
I think to Gabby, and everything that's happened in the last couple of weeks.
"Maybe I need to plow some weeds out too." I whisper.
I also need to find who drugged Kaia at the party. I haven't forgot about it, and my blood still heats when I think about it. When I think about what they could've done to my Kaia.
I don't like thinking about it though. It's more of a box I have yet to check in the very back of my mind.
I need to talk to Dahlia, and maybe use the mystery twins as backup information.
Kaia turns back to me finally, walking towards me and grinning. "Your dad is so funny. I see where you get your charm from."
"Falling for my dad now are we? Just because we're both blonde doesn't mean you're allowed to walk around charming the Steele's."
She slaps my shoulder. "Cade! Stop! You're making me seem like some sort of master seductress."
I level my head against her ear, and whisper, "I wish I could get you out of those jeans so you could tell me all about seducing."
Her face turns a bright red, popping against all the white machinery and walls of the room.
"I need to go to the bathroom," she squeaks.
"I'll join you!" My mom says, inconveniently following her to the restroom.
Why do women always go to the bathroom together?
I sit next to my dad, watching him wheeze out breaths.
"How's ya mother? She looks different every time she comes, Cade." His tone is wistful, almost disappointed.
"She's been having a hard time eating. I bring her food almost every afternoon but she'll touch a bit of it and leave the rest in the fridge. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to do—"
"Woah, woah. Kid, this ain't ya fault. Don't ever blame yourself for what happens inside this family. I appreciate you steppin' up for me, and taking your spot in this family, but it also isn't your responsibility. Keep bringin' ya mom food, I'll talk to her and she'll start eatin' a bit more."
I still feel the guilt in my stomach from all of this. What kind of son am I, if I can't even handle things such is dinner?
"How's football? You beat the Woodland kids asses yet?" He chuckles.
"Yeah, well spring season is starting up so looking forward to doing it again for the second time this year." I say, leaning back against my chair.
"Atta' boy! You got colleges droolin' all over you, kid?"
"I have a couple of offers, some are out of state, a couple from here in Texas. A&M offered me a full ride, room and books included. I'd start as their quarterback." I respond, looking at his face to spot any sort of approval or denial.
"Is that where you want to go?" He asks, the same inquiry in his eyes.
Is it? All my friends are going to A&M, and their football program is at it's peak this year. If I join them next year, I'll be one of the many five-star recruits on their team. It'll open me to opportunities, and I'll be able to stay close to home.
"Yes, I think it's where I want to go."
"Then good going, kid. Don't worry about me and your mother alright? Make decisions because they're yours and nobody else's." He slaps his hand on my shoulder, shaking it only like my dad would.
Kaia and my mom walk back in, this time accompanied by a tall, woman. Her curly hair envelops her face, and she smiles dearly at all of us.
"Hello! I'm Dr. Ruth Roltz, could I please talk to Mrs. Steele?" Her hand jots a couple of things down on her clipboard, and faces my mom as she identifies herself. They leave out into the hall, and all that is audible are a couple of straggled, yesofcourse-es.
A couple of minutes go by before they're both back in. My mom looks much livelier, and her lips are clasped together in childish excitement.
Dr. Roltz thanks us for coming, and makes her way out.
My mom clasps her hands together in celebration. "Oh, Scott! We're taking you home in a couple of days. They said you're making progress with your pacemaker."
I feel myself exhale, relief flooding through me. I squeeze Kaia against me, feeling her medicine seep through my skin.
——
I drop Kaia and my mom back at home after the hospital, making my way towards Fairland. I take Mondays off occasionally to visit my dad, but I still have practice to show up to.
I get out of the car and pick up my gym bag from the passenger seat. I'm walking towards the lockers when I feel acrylic nails scratch at my arm.
"Cade! I haven't seen you the whole day. Are you avoiding me now?" Ashley Oakley says, her shrill voice bringing a ring into my ears.
"I have to get to practice, Ashley. I'll catch you later." I continue walking.
Her sneakers squeak against the resin floor as she continues chasing me. I feel like rolling my eyes but remember that I'm actually supposed to be friends with Ashley.
"I'm having a birthday party next Saturday, you should come by. Bring some of your football friends. I already invited Luke and Dean, and they told me to count them in." Her polished hand slips me a pink envelope with Ashley Oakley signed in a perfect cursive.
"I'll pass by."
I slip the envelope inside my gym bag and enter the locker room. All my teammates greet me.
"Cade! Yo what've you been up to?"
"Steele's in the house!"
"Cade!"
I give them a wave, and a couple of fist bumps here and there. I take my shirt off, along with my black sweatpants, and dig inside my bag for my undergarments.
I put everything on, opening my locker for my pads and helmet.
I slip on my cleats and find Dean and Luke already out on the field. They both dab me up.
"Yo Cade, why did you not tell me you used to date Ashley Oakley?" Luke shouts over his helmet and the wind.
I laugh. "Used to, she's just a good friend now."
"Well, tell your friend I want to get in her pants. Total smoke show dog." He punches me in the chest and I shake my head.
Dean says nothing, smiling and staring off at the sky. I wave my hand in front of his face.
"Hello? Earth to Dean Howard."
"What? What are we talking about?"
Luke holds his helmet between both his hands, shaking his head. "Smoke show Oakley?"
"Ashley? The millionth blonde at school?" He rolls his eyes. "I'm more into brunettes you know."
"You should've seen how whipped this man was at that one party we went to a couple weeks ago. Who's the lucky girl?" I ask, nudging him.
"She was actually the birthday girl. Her name is Jane, but she has a twin sister named Jennifer."
"Holy shit, a twin? Dude, get on that!" Luke grins.
I smack his helmet. "Do you not think about anything other than sex?"
"What? I'm just saying," he crosses his arms across his chest like a toddler.
Twins. He's talking about Kaia's friends.
"I thought they were both blonde?"
"No, Jane's hair is darker than Jennifer's" he says, noticing the small differences between his girl and her sister. I honestly didn't pay much attention to either of them but now that I think about it, one of them was significantly more brunette.
This new relationship between Dean and Jennifer might work out in my favor, especially since the plan is to catch the fucker who drugged Kaia at their party.
"Wait... so no twin action?" Luke whispers.
Both Dean and I smack his head a second time.
Coach's whistle blows, and we all start lining up on the field.
The sun is high, the sun is strong. The wind is blowing in all the right directions.