Below The Hard Deck | A Top Gun Fanfiction

CHAPTER VIII

Valkyrie's funeral, while beautiful, doesn't really feel like a funeral. Not to me, at least. Is it really a proper send off when there is no body to burry? Even as I bang my pin into the empty casket, its golden wings glowing in the sun, I can't help but feel it's all a performance. The dress uniforms and the music, none of it feels real. Maybe I'm just trying to convince myself it isn't.

As the rest of the guests head off to the reception hall, I stay behind, watching as workers begin to fill in the empty grave. As much as I appreciate the seemingly never ending stream of condolences, it can get tiresome after a while. Hell, even Iceman offered up his own apology yesterday. With each one, I'm reminded of what I've lost, and I can do nothing more than thank the person for their sympathy. I hear someone walk up beside me, causing me to turn away from the hole in the ground for the first time in several minutes.

"Mrs. White," I straighten my posture, attempting to look as professional as possible, "I'm sorry, I thought everyone had left by now." Though we haven't seen each other incredibly often over the years, Valkyrie's mother always strived to play a motherly role to me as well. She would frequently send her daughter care packages, always making sure to include a special item specifically for me.

"As you were, soldier," the older woman jokes. "You don't need to be all formal with me." I relax once more, turning back to the grave. Together, the two of us sit in silence. What can you say to a mother who has to morn their child? "She loved flying with you, Claddagh. I hope you know that."

"I'm sorry I wasn't with her when it happened. She was originally my RIO and my responsibility, and I left her."

"From the way Valerie explained things, she didn't give you much of a choice. 'When Top Gun calls,' she said, 'you don't say no.'"

I smile at the memory. "I wanted her to come with me. She deserved to come with me." I look towards the woman beside me. "I'm sorry I didn't fight for her more."

Mrs. White reaches into her purse, pulling out two photographs. "These were taped up in her bunk on the aircraft carrier. I think she'd want you to have them."

I take the fragile pictures, my breath immediately hitching in my throat as I lay eyes on the top one. It was from when we were on our first mission together. On our final day, one of the other pilots suggested that each team should get a picture in front of their jet. While everyone else was taking serious pictures, Valkyrie insisted on doing something different, opting instead to kiss me on the cheek and making me laugh out loud just as the photo was taken.

"I haven't seen this in years," I mumble, smiling at the image. When I flip it over, I notice a message written in Valkyrie's messy script. Lucky and Valkyrie: Teaching men how to fly since 1983. I laugh, feeling tears start to stream down my face.

My heart sinks at the second photo. It isn't only the last photo we took together before I came to Top Gun, it's from the last time I ever saw her. In it, her arms are wrapped around me, pulling me close as I do the same to her. Beside me, my packed duffel bag thrown on the ground. On the flip side, I once again see her messy writing. Proud RIO to a future Top Gun graduate, 1986.

"She was so proud to have flown with you," Mrs. White says, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "She bragged about you being the first woman to go to Top Gun to anyone who'd listen. When she got her new pilot, she frequently told him it would only be a matter of time until she followed behind you."

I glance between the older woman and the pictures, rubbing my thumb over our laughing figures. "I'm supposed to return to training tomorrow, but it feels wrong to just go back like nothing ever happened."

She sighs, looking at the grave before us. "You know, when Valerie said she wanted to join the Navy, I did everything I could to try to talk her out of it. It wasn't because I didn't think she could do it, but because I knew how she would be treated. She had a rough time in the academy. The other pilots and even instructors were constantly on her, pointing out even the smallest mistakes she made. One time, she got reprimanded because she had a few hairs out of place in her bun after a flight. I told her to just come home several times, but she was determined to show them all what she could do."