•hold my hand I'm scared•

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(tw/: panic attack and slight sh mentioned) H/n and I had made all of the hot chocolate the other night. We had to go into the store to buy some more. He also wanted some candy and we needed marshmallows for the hot chocolate. I grabbed my keys and he sat shotgun in my car. He went to hold my hand but instead of grabbing it I reached over and grabbed his thigh. He turned a light shade of pink and laid his hand on top of mine. He started drumming his fingers on my hand and humming along to the music. Freaks by Surf Curse was playing so I started singing along. I squeezed his thigh lightly and he blushed a little bit darker. We arrived at the store and I parked the car. We grabbed a shopping cart and went inside.
"Bubby why don't you go grab the hot chocolate mix yeah?"
"Yes ma'am I will." He said, bouncing off to go find it. I went to the candy isle and grabbed his favorite candies and some marshmallows that I saw. Suddenly I felt arms wrap around me and a face bury itself into my shoulder. I felt my shoulder get wet and heard whoever had grabbed me sob into my shoulder. I turned around to find h/n with his face still pressed into my shoulder. I prayed him off and put his face into my chest rather than my shoulder and held him there. What could have possibly got him all riled up like this?  I asked myself.
"Darling what's wrong? Shhhh baby it's ok. You're ok, I've got you. You're safe now nothing can hurt you." Once he had calmed down a little bit, he let go a little bit.
"M- my dad. He's here y/n. He looked at me and tried to tell me to come here. So I ran. I ran back to find you."
"Baby it's gonna be ok. He can't hurt you anymore. C'mon let's go grab the hot cocoa together. I dare him to say a word to you."
"O-ok. Can you hold my hand? I'm scared. You don't have to but please do."
"Baby you never ever have to ask for that. If you want to hold my hand you hold my hand I don't care who we're around." He went to grab my hand and I put his arms around my left arm instead. He buried his face into my neck and sniffles a few times. I walked to where the hot chocolate mix is and grabbed two boxes. I kissed h/ns forehead gently and led him to checkout. His dad watched us walk to the checkout so I flipped him off. I paid and we left the store. As we were walking out it started snowing again so I got home quickly. We walked into the house, freezing cold because the heat in my car had stopped working.
"Baby do you want to take a nice hot bath with me?"
"U-uh sure I guess. Can you maybe wash my hair again?"
"Any time darling." I put all of the stuff we had gone to the store to buy in there respective places in the cabinet. Then I led him into the bathroom and turned on the hot water. I threw my shirt off and he stood there staring. I got fully undressed and climbed into the water.
"Bubby you can stop staring now." I giggled
"O-oh yeah. S-sorry about th-that." He got undressed and climbed into the tub in front of me. He curled into a ball and laid his head on my chest. I kissed the top of his head and let him relax a little bit. I remembered that I have lavender scented bubbles in the cabinet under the sink.
"H/n do you like the scent of lavender?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Hop up for a second I have bubbles."
"Really!? I haven't taken a bubble bath since... A really long time ago."
"I know bubby. But you're gonna take one in just a second." I poured some of the bubbles into the water and he started giggling.
"It tickles mommy-" He stopped instantly, realizing what he had just said.
"I am so so sorry y/n I didn't mean to say that I promise I won't ever say it again please don't be mad."
"Darling I could never ever get mad at you over something like that. If you're comfortable with it you can call me that. Only if you want to baby."
"O-oh o-ok t-thank you. C-can I?"
"Of course you can my love. You can call me anything you wish." He started blushing and playing with the bubbles in the water. I pulled him back against my chest and peppered kisses into his forehead. He looked so happy in that moment. I grabbed a cup and filled it with some warm water.
" Close your eyes pup, I don't want water getting into your gorgeous brown eyes." He blushed and smiled, closing his eyes. I poured the water over his hair gently, trying not to get any onto his face. I lathered up the shampoo into his hair and scrubbed his scalp with my nails. He moaned out of pleasure and quickly blushed and snapped him mouth shut.
"Good boy making pretty little sounds for me with that pretty little mouth of yours."
He blushed and tried to hide his face in his hands so I grabbed his hands and pressed a kiss into every one of his knuckles.
"My sweet boy. Never hide your pretty face from me ok? You're mine. All of you is mine. You belong to me and as long as you're here nothing will ever hurt you. Now close your eyes so I can rinse out this shampoo." He closed his eyes and I scrubbed the shampoo out of his hair. I put conditioner in his hair and helped him wash his body, then I did my stuff. As I was rinsing the conditioner out of his hair I noticed some small scratches on the back of his neck.
"Baby, why are there scratches back here?"
"I'm sorry y/n I didn't means to. I started scratching at the back of my neck the other day when I woke up and you weren't there next to me. Please don't be mad at me."
"Baby I'm not mad but please don't harm yourself. How about I get you a marker and instead of harming yourself you can draw on your arm instead. I know you like drawing."
"Thank you y/n. I would like that very much."
"Any thing for you my love." We got out and I wrapped him up in a fluffy towel. I dried off and got dressed, helping him get dressed as well. Once we were dressed I started making some hot chocolate on the stove while h/n sat in the dining room. Once that was done we drank down our drinks and decided to go to my room and cuddle for a little bit while watching Disney movies. He picked out  Minions and laid down with a big blanket he found in my closet. I laid down with him and snuggled his head onto my chest. Halfway through the movie he fell asleep and started softly snoring in my ear. I kissed his forehead and wrapped my arms around him. He's so clingy. Almost like a little kid. I pulled out my phone and searched up "people who act like kids" and some thing called a "little" came up. I would have to talk to him about it later. It would explain why he always needs attention and cuddles though. He's so cute just sleeping there in my arms. I started rubbing my hands over his bare back.
"Buonanotte tesoro mio." I said smiling down at him. I checked the time and it was 10 o'clock at night. I decided to drift off to sleep as well as him. My last thought before drifting off was god could this be any more perfect.

(1354 words)

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