When All is Lost

4.

The four of us weave our way back to the palace. The darker alleys and the quieter streets help us slip away from the guards who were hovering around us - Nate hates feeling 'protected'. The snow is falling thickly now, wiping away the dark grey stones and smothering them in white. The sun won't rise for a little while yet but lights are glowing across the city as bakers and tradesmen begin to wake up ready for a long day's work.

We are quiet as the large oak doors of the palace loom ahead of us. The huge stone walls shine through the flurry of snowflakes that cling to everything like a blanket. I know the minute we're inside we'll be soaked, but for now, it feels magical. At the gate, we smile politely as the guard stares at us momentarily stunned by our appearance. We never use the main entrance, always slipping in and out through the training yard, past the barracks. He shouts back to his partner and the gates swing open.

Nate stops, it's been months since we actually slept in the palace, and we're all waiting for him to make the first step. When he doesn't, Adam slaps him on the back and pushes him forward. He moves reluctantly, and we follow, keeping our thoughts to ourselves.

"Your Highness," Captain Laya Grant's voice calls smoothly through the snow and we pause, turning.

"Captain," he nods, "is all well?"

"As well as it can be. You've been missed." She smiles and her eyes dart between all of us. Reproaching us for allowing him to escape and avoid his responsibilities here. Adam and Tommy meet her gaze coolly, she has no authority over them but I feel it hit me. What was I supposed to do? I want to yell at her. I'm his guard, not his keeper.

"Oh, Captain." Nate smiles, "You're too generous. I'm sure you managed just fine without me." He places his hands in his pockets and looks at the door. "If you don't mind, it's cold."

He doesn't wait for an answer, he doesn't need to, instead, he moves inside followed by the other two. I hesitate a moment, long enough to meet her eyes. To offer a silent apology. She lets me go and I release my breath.

Everyone is tense. With the rumours of the king's ill health, Nate disappearing won't have helped.

If Nate thought he was going to slip inside the palace without anyone noticing he was very much mistaken. Almost as soon as we are in the cool corridors of the royal wing we hear the familiar footsteps of Bronson - the Kings' valet - his highly polished shoes rapping against the marble, giving him away. He has a brisk pace and seems to enjoy the tap-tap-tapping his shoes make as he walks, never trying to soften the noise or change the soles.

Nate sighs and I watch him draw himself together. Adam slips away as Nate moves to meet Bronson, I hang back unsure of where to place myself. Tommy waits in the hallway, clearly feeling similarly. Something is happening here, I feel a responsibility to protect Nate from any threat – even bad news. Technically in the palace, I have the freedom to leave Nate alone. Especially when he's with the King. Tonight though, I feel like someone should be available to him.

Noticing my hesitation, he turns, reaching over to squeeze my arm, glancing to Tommy with a surprised nod.

"Go to sleep," he says, his dark hair, long and curly from the snow crowding into his eyes and I nod.

"Wake me, if you need me," I say, surprised at my offer but something about tonight makes me want to protect him. Not as a bodyguard but as a friend.

He nods and carries on down the hall accompanied by the ever-loyal valet. A wave of exhaustion sweeps over me as he leaves, and I head into the hall planning on dragging myself up to my room. Tommy falls into step beside me and sighs.